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My husband has been in hospital for 5 months following surgery that left him totally inmobile. I hope to bring him home soon and care for him at home. His children have abandoned him. They only care about how much money they will get when he passes away. So sad. He is not on life support but is total care. Any suggestions on what I need for care?

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Unmarriedwife;I am so sorry I havent been able to get back to your problem sooner ...I worked in healtcare for 11 years ..I know you can get your Husband on Hospice even if he does not have enough only 6 months to live ....I know people who have been on hospice for 3 years!! Also I know people who came off hospice because they started to do much better.. also know people who were on the brink of death on continously care and came off of it 3 x so if you have Not called hospice please call now
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You led with unmarried wife.
Do not bring him home unless you have POA, both financial and medical.
His kids (adult children) will be coming out of the woodwork to make your life a living hell, thinking they are protecting Dad and their inheritance.

Hire an elder care attorney (NAELA Certified), and if you both don't have your future financial plans secure, do it now. You may lose your home.
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I was wondering about his eligibility for hospice too. You can't just call them in unless he has been assessed as having less than 6 months to live.

Your local Agency for Aging may be able to help.

There should be a social worker or such where he is now to create a discharge plan. Talk to them about what you need and if it is realistic for you to care for him by yourself. If he is total care, this will be very difficult.
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Unmarriedwife, by immobile in what sense? Is hubby able to sit up but cannot walk? Or is he totally paralyzed from the shoulders up?

By chance was your husband ever in the military? I was thinking of all the good programs that are available for troops that come back being immobile but later are able to get around using motorized wheelchairs, etc.

Hospice was mentioned above, but note that Hospice is used only if your husband's doctor has deemed your husband has 6 months or less to live. From what you wrote, that doesn't sound like the case. Correct me if I am wrong. I hope that is not the case.

You definitely cannot do all of this on your own.
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If you are insistent on bringing him home, then I think Lorraine had the best answer. And be prepared for your life to change completely Even with all the care Hospice has to offer, you will still be overwhelmed.

I'm sorry about the kids being jerks. You'll inherit everything when your DH passes, just change the will/trust and leave the little monsters out of it completely. My grandma did just that.

Good Luck with this huge, life altering move!! And be sure to take care of yourself, along the way. Caregiver burnout is serious and you need to be in top form to take on a very sick person.
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Unmarriedwife ;Call Hospice! They will help transport him home ,Hospice will also do all the following....have all meds delivered to the house,nurseing care up to 5 times per week ,CNA care for bathing ect...,Social worker, Geriatric doctor ,Chaplin,24 hour continues care if he meets the criteria....I had Vitas Hospice for my Dad they are THE BEST! It's nation wide ,but there are many many other hospice organizations....they even had music therapy and massage therapy....If your family is in need just call they will come meet you ..oh they even supply diapers,zinc cream,no rinse body wash ,Gloves,mouth swaves,deodorant, EVERYTHING!!!REALLY if he's bed ridden I see no other choice . ALSO,,the Medicare covers it ALL....GOOD LUCK !!
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You might want to review these posts:

https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=bringing husband home for care

There was a similar thread about a week ago, but I can't find it right now. If I can, I'll post a link. It was a post about bringing someone home from a facility, with a lot of good suggestions on what to look for and how to plan.

But some things to consider: You wrote that he's totally immobile. I'm assuming you'll need 24/7 care for him. That's a significant commitment, and probably a costly one as you'll need equipment as well as 24/7 caregivers. Do you have the funds to pay for this, or will you need to apply for Medicaid? Have you thought about the cost and personal privacy compromise of hiring 24/7 caregivers?

Has there been any discussion at all of going to a rehab facility as a first level step-down to home care? Or is his mobility of a nature that can't be improved at all?
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