Where do I go from here?

Before you start any kind of "moving forward" it's important that you allow yourself time to grieve.
I know that after my husband died who I cared for for many years, I literally found myself wandering around my house for months after, wondering what it was that I should be doing, as my days had been so full of caring for him.
Slowly over time, I started to do things that I enjoyed, like going to church, spending time with friends and family, and taking care of myself. But that didn't happen overnight. It took a while, and I'm sure it's different for everyone.
My husband will be dead a year in a few weeks, and I am finally feeling that I can move forward with my life, and am looking forward to seeing what the Good Lord has in store for me next.
So have patience my dear, and just start with some simple things that bring you joy.

Well, I'm getting started! I went to the doctor for my 3-month check-up a week or so ago. Today I went to get my eyes examined for new eyeglasses. I have need new eyeglasses for so long, I cringe when I think about how long I put this off.

These are two biggies for me since I'd postponed, re-scheduled, or completely did not do sometimes while caregiving for Mama.

I needed to "do that for myself" and, I DID! That is a big step forward for me. I'm truly thankful to be able to do something for myself for a change.

Thank you, funkygrandma59. "wandering around my house, wondering what it was that I should be doing, since my days had been so full of caring for Mama" . . . is EXACTLY what I was doing and feeling. Thank you for sharing this, it's just what I needed.

So I WILL have patience and just start with some simple things that bring me joy. I went to Burger King today and bought my favorite Whopper Package, brought it home and enjoyed leisurely eating it in peace and quiet.

My mom passed in Jan, and I am making a real effort to get back in touch with some friends who were there for me, but had their own issues as well. We make a solid date to do something once a month. I also took the time to try to get all the ducks in a row for Moms service and financials, and cleaning out her things . Its about all done now.. all the big stuff is over and that is very freeing. now that Covid has slown down here in my area my job is no longer requiring OT, so I am spending more time trying to re connect with my hubs and adoring my puppy! It is not easy,, but it will get better

Fuzzy, I can only tell you what I did (and I didn't do any of this stuff until my mom had been dead for several years; this is a process...).

Bought a new sewing machine (had given the old one to my daughter), bought myself a new instrument (something I've played for years), got myself a trainer (I work out with her 1x week for an hour) and got myself a therapist.

Decide what you want to work on first and take some baby steps this week.

Report back!! We care.

Sunday, October 10, 2021 –
It’s been a while since I posted here, but I thought I should report back and let everyone know how I am doing with moving forward. You all provided such good advice, suggestions, and ideas I want to “Thank You”!
 
Thanks to all of you, I’ve done some things to get back to a normal life (sorta normal), and it feels good. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a LOT, but it's a start and it feels like a big rock has been lifted off my shoulders.
 
What have I done to move forward. . . you ask? Keeping it brief and to the point, I’ve kept doctors’ appointments, got my hair done, started eating better, and completing insurance paperwork.
 
Best of all, I visited with my daughter, SIL, and only grandson the last week of September, for 3 days and 3 nights without “clock-watching” and needing to leave. That visit was FUN, relaxing, and so refreshing, I’m eagerly looking forward to next time. We discussed and decided that I will visit at least once a month (for starters).
 
Ok, enough for now, this is getting too long.
 
Thank You AgingCare Friends for your caring, sharing, and support!

Take your sewing machine to your nearest haberdashery and ask them to get it overhauled. While you're there, pick a project and get the supplies.

When you get home, you will thus have A Plan and a couple of weeks before it starts. So you next sit down with a nice cup of coffee and some coloured pencils and a big clean piece of paper and you do a Mind Map.

It is also perfectly okay to have days when you drag yourself around the house and accomplish nothing. Do not worry unless that starts to be every day.

MargaretMc, a camping holiday for 6 weeks sounds heavenly. What a treat! Seeing new things every day would definitely be a welcomed change.

Thank you for this helpful answer, it means a lot to me. I am especially grateful for your thoughtfulness.

Countrymouse, what a great idea. I'm already planning . . . in my head . . . next I'll put it in writing. I am a TOTAL "Note-to-Self" fanatic.

Hearing that it is "perfectly okay to have days when I drag myself around the house and accomplish nothing", made me smile. THAT is perfectly do-able for me!

Thank you for sharing these helpful ideas with me. I really appreciate your tips.

Thank you ALL for providing so much good advice and some really helpful tips here. It was very helpful to learn from you that the "recovery process" after an ELO passes away is
a S L O W process. SO today, I'm not beating myself up because I haven't accomplished a lot since Mama died. Yes, I'm still tired/exhausted but, I'm not feeling . . . "SUCKED-DRY" anymore. Just regular-old-tired.

Question: Did I accomplish ANYTHING like moving forward?

I did. I went to the eye doctor, got my much need eye exam, and a prescription for new eyeglasses. They got my glasses done and, I picked them up yesterday. Yaaa, I can see clearly now!

Enough of that! I just wanted to let you know how I'm doing with the
"Where do I go from here" . . .