We just figured out when we will run out of money for caring for my parents. My Dad is 95; my Mom is 88. He has Alzheimer's and has had a serious stroke. My Mom is frail and starting to decline. We take care of them at our home, which is what they wished.
At home they get to see my grandson and baby granddaughter. As ill as my father is, he still knows us. Right now we are lucky enough to have a caregiver 24/7. There is no way I can take care of them at home without that kind of help.
Are there resources out there, so they can stay here with us?
Wish vs reality sounds like fulfilling their wish is about to totally sink your own family finances and retirement which most normal parents would not wish for their adult children to sacrifice to their own financial demise as the adult child become nearer to being a member of the next generation of senior citizens.
Who if anyone does have medical and durable POA for your parents? I sure hope this has already been done for it sounds like you are extremely near needing to use both of them.
Just how long will your finances survive and about how much have you already depleted?
What does their doctor recommend for each of their care in their current health status?
Do your parents have any resources? My mother had bought a long term health care policy years ago and never told anyone about it until I happen to come across it.
Is your dad a veteran? If so, he and his wife qualify most likely for retirement benefits in a nursing home which does not have to be a military one.
Do they own too much to qualify for medicare?
If you let this situation decline to the point where you literally run out of all of your money and have to sell your house and any other property just to meet your up to date bills, then all of you will end of homeless which is not a good thing. I think you need to talk with someone in social services who knows about caring for the elderly and finding money to pay for it.