How do you know when to place a spouse?

If that is where she is happiest, GO FOR IT! We moved mom to Assisted Living on March 1 for a one month trial. She has heart failure and moderate vascular dementia, A fib, Stage 3 CKD. Uses a cane. Blind in one eye, deaf in one ear, moves slow, but is actually enjoying the company of people her own age. Give it a shot.

If there is any concern at all that your wife may not be safe at home; if she might wander or fall or injure herself in the kitchen or bathroom, go ahead and place her in the facility. Also, if you have concerns that you are not able to keep up with the demands of her condition, don't feel guilty that you are taking this next step. I'm glad that your wife is happy at this facility and I hope you are able to visit her daily.
But please, make sure that you have support for yourself at this time. Make sure that you are eating properly and will be getting enough sleep. Do you have outside interests to keep you involved and busy? Once she has moved, there will be a big change in your household, please be on the lookout for changes in yourself that might need attention. God bless you for taking such good care of your wife. Good wishes to both of you as you work through this.

Hi Leroy - My husband, too, has later stage Alzheimer's and goes to an Alzheimer's day care when I'm at work three days a week - and he's O.K. with going there, but I think he's happier when he's at home with me. Everyone is different, so your wife could certainly be happier there - but I was just wondering what makes you think that?

Then if you are exhausted taking care of her, then yes, the time is right to place her in that facility. "Severe" means the condition is beyond your abilities, and she needs professional care. You can still visit, but know she will not ever be the same. My best to you and your wife.

I would say that two important criteria to consider when making your decision are if you are concerned about her safety at home and if you are getting to a point that you can not longer continue caring for your wife for physical or emotional reasons.

I put my husband in AL when he fell out of bed and I couldn't get him up and had to call the fire department. Also, he insisted on taking a bath instead of a shower and I couldn't get him up and I suffered a compression fracture twisting to help him up. I was in misery for months..When I took him to the doctor he insisted that I put him in care for my own sanity. What a relief! and I found a wonderful small group home where he was very happy and where they gave him lots of attention and care. I think you can feel when it's time Remember you have a life, too.