Firstly some background. I am a married 26 y/o, I work full time and live about 6 hours away by plane from my divorced parents. My father is 72 and recently received a stage 3 lung cancer diagnosis. This is all very new but family members are already insinuating that I should move back home soon to care for my father or else urge him to move into his sister's home. He has always been independent and was actually working up until right before he got sick. He doesn't want to move into his sister's house because it is very messy and tends to have many people going in and out (her adult son lives with her and family is over often). They seem to think that in the near future my father will not be able to care for himself or perform everyday tasks on his own. I've not heard anything from his doctors regarding concern over his living situation other than his needing some extra help, perhaps, after surgeries. Is there something I'm missing?
It's not too much of a burden financially for me to take a few months or so off if necessary to care for him in his own home. My husband is supportive and is from the same home state so would not mind visiting, but we are not interested in moving back home permanently and cannot foresee ourselves doing so in the near future. My father would not be open to moving and I wouldn't want to take him away from all of his friends and family. He does not want a live-in caretaker or to eventually transition into any type of assisted/monitored living facility.
I just really don't understand what it is that I'm missing because the reaction I've been getting when I say that we are planning on making more trips back home is that I'm being a terrible child. My father still drives, has an active social life and we FaceTime multiple times a week. He doesn't want me to "uproot my life" for him and does not see the need for it at this point but also pays little mind to the future. Again I'm willing to go back home temporarily and if needed to I could even leave my job, but I just would like to know about the timing of it all. My husband travels frequently for work and we have pets. I want to be helpful and supportive but I'm not sure how or when. I guess I'm really just looking for some insight. If you or a loved one were also dealing with this type of diagnosis at what point was it (during treatment I suppose? post-pneumonectomy/lobectomy, chemo, etc?) that you found yourself or relative needing help to the point where it would be detrimental to live by oneself? I'm sorry if this is a dumb or confusing question.
Thank you for your time.