When to call Social Services on my sister?
My sister has lived w/ my parents all her life, she has a 16yr old son which my parents took care of, mom has multiple issues including dementia, dad has Parkinson's getting harder for him to move around everyday, my sister asked to come help her take care of them which I did I did everything making meals to mowing the lawn. after being there for 2 weeks I was kicked out by her and my father, they have always hated my relationship w/ mom!
I come by on weekends and once during the week to do there laundry, clean there room change the sheets ext. the last few months have been horrible, our brother took it upon himself to change her doctors and it took hi, my sister and father 5 months to get her one I kept asking questions about nut they wont give me any information, so I end up having to call her old doctors who still believe she is there patient! They cancelled her last few appointments (my siblings) I've noticed things have gotten worse w/moms hygiene and health, she has a staff infection on her nose, her sheet looked like someone had stabbed them both in there sleep and my sister never bothered to change them. she doesn't do anything! the house is disgusting I get there and I end up cleaning it she doesn't cook for them all they eat is fast food, I finally lost the other night and asked her if she thought living like this was alright? turned into a huge fight between us and my sister and dad kick me out again, before I left I told her I was going to call S.S on her for elder abuse, she yells at them, mom has sores on her feet and legs r swollen. She sits in her room and expects my father to take of mom but he cant do it anymore physically do it anymore and I will not clean up after her and her son ill clean up there areas and do what I need to do.
Mom is not ever going to get better but she needs a nurse to take care of her but no one in the family will listen to me! they call me stupid and say I cause drama, all I want is for mom to be taken care of the way she should be! I feel shes abusing my parents physically and emotionally! what should I do and if I do call S.S will they take my parents out of there home? They pay all the bills and rent.
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Yes you're right about the shouting matches or "I'm going to tell on you" Not the adult way to handle things, But sometimes it needs to happen to get results! as for my parents refusing my father yes, my mother does what is asked of her if you are patient and say it kind, loving way.
I'll keep you all updated on moms condition, and once again THANK YOU all for your advice and kindness. Hugs
Sad to say, although you are certainly helping by cleaning and washing, getting into a shouting match hardly ever solves problems, and no it doesn't matter who yelled first.
APS may or may not be effective in your area. Call them, not "on" your sister, but to express concern about the fact that your parents aren't receiving medical care. ( consider that your parents maybe refusing to allow your sister to change their clothes, take them to the doctor).
Also call your local area agency on aging and ask for their advice. Call mom's old doctor and tell her/him what's going on. And try to step out of the " I'm gonna tell on you" mentality. It won't be effective in getting your parents the help they need.