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One of my 4 siblings thinks our mother should be in a care facility, but she is still way to aware of what's going on. I know she would feel deserted by us if we admitted her to a facility.

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With dementia it is sometimes best to move them before the dementia progresses too far. They will have the time it takes to adjust to their new residence making the move less stressful on everyone. If she lives alone, she should be moved or a caregiver brought in 24/7. In a facility she will have an opportunity to make friends, get involved in activities (though this looks different now than six months ago) and get to know staff, and them her, before it becomes an urgent situation.
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I think you may be passing out of the Assisted Living and into Memory Care options. I think the answer is when the care is really too much for those rendering daily care.
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The problem with dementia is that you never know what is going to be the next slip on the slope of decline.
Today she may be able to use the stove and boil water for tea, tomorrow she may put the kettle on and forget about it, or take the kettle off and leave the kitchen towel near the burner....Or she may go out to get the mail and keep walking.
There is no info in your profile to indicate where she is in this journey. How well does she function? If she can do many of the ADL's (activities of daily living) maybe Assisted Living might be right for her now. There would be someone there if she needed help, as well as someone that would be monitoring her day to day looking for declines that would let you know when and if a move to Memory Care is appropriate.
You are most likely watching mom through "rose colored glasses", by that I mean that you may not be as analytical about her decline as someone else might be. No one wants to admit that a loved one is in decline so you make excuses for "slip up's". She was tired, she did not understand the conversation, she did not hear what I said....

Bottom line when you place someone in a facility is a personal decision but it should be based on safety. If it is no longer safe for this person to remain at home, either alone or with someone, if it is not safe for the caregiver, at that point placing someone in Assisted Living or in the case of any form of dementia Memory Care is in your Loved ones best interest.
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