When do we suggest testing for dementia?
My 82 yr old mom moved in with us last year and has begun frequently passing gas very loudly, spitting, picking her nose and picking her teeth. Licks serving ware and puts it back in the bowl as she is serving food. Also not washing her hands when she should. ( Swears that she did though I just witnessed otherwise) I try handing her tissues and dental picks. Have suggested Gas-X and she looks at me like I’m nuts/gets her feelings hurt. Her mother lived until she was 90 and did not do any of these things around other people. Even at home. I’m a bit of a germaphobe so I end up washing everything she touches. I’ve also found broken glass, pills on the floor (we have two pets). She appears to be mentally fine otherwise. Only takes a BP med and a low dose arthritis med. Blood tests are normal. She still drives everywhere. Goes to a gym class, church, bible study, grocery shopping etc. We have a very relaxed household. But there is relaxed and then there is gross and dangerous
At what point and how do you suggest to a parent that they be tested for the possible onset of dementia? She will be in complete denial.
3 Answers
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Now if she is not aware of what she is doing then you need to readjust your expectations and limit what she can and can not do. You serve her, she does not serve or touch utensils other than her own. As far as the gas and picking at her teeth and nose you will probably have to try to learn to accept it for what it is.
Hard to scold the person who taught you manners.
That said, we are on constant watch when out in public with her. She has a serious lack of impulse control and will pick up items in others homes. Will walk up to strangers and touch them or their children and comment on something they are buying, wearing or their looks. I’m surprised she hasn’t been assaulted by someone she has surprised out of the blue yet. Fortunately she is tiny and sweet.
It sounds like the test won’t help as there is no problem with memory or coordination at this point. I realize we all decline at different rates in different areas.
Thank you for responding. Just venting helps.
I am a bit OCD with cleanliness and hand washing and licking serving spoons would send me over the edge, disgusting is minimizing it.
Some people think that the privacy of your own home allows disagreeable behaviors, not when others live there. Social niceties still apply.
Our discussions up to this point have been useless. She comes back with a pitiful “I just don’t do anything right around here” (has always been very confident) or “Well I guess I’ve been alone for so long” ( Baloney. Lived by herself for a total of two years and her social schedule was crazy.). The first two didn’t get sympathy so then she threw the “You’ve always been OCD and a bit of a germaphobe”. She tries to reel in my husband on that last one but he finds her behavior gross as well. He is just less confrontational.
Your last sentence is what I will focus on for our next talk. She was obviously aware of social niceties when we all visited with each other over the last 30 years.
Again, thank you.