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My mom, 65, has a ton of serious chronic issues. Her balance sucks, she's fallen a lot lately and knows she's nearing the end of her ability to live alone. Her memory is terrible, and she's a brittle diabetic with kidney disease, cardiac problems, among other things. She has spent the day sleeping today after calling my sister (in another state) and telling her that she felt it was time to end her life last night. I don't know if she actually enacted her plan, but she's been very deeply sleeping all day. I didn't try too hard to wake her until supper time, and got no response. She could have been playing opossum to make me go away. She has a DNR that was signed during a good time period. How do I tell if she's asleep or if she tried something and it got messed up? And at what point do I call an ambulance?

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This post was 5 days ago, so my answer isn't answering your immediate question, but a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) does not mean a refusal of care and treatment. It means No Heroics, Compressions, Ventilator; perhaps Tube Feedings. You need to get a clearer picture of her wishes, but also, if you get to the hospital you will have medical professionals to review the situation and tell you what she might need Right Now. Then you can properly answer if what they are suggesting is something she would or wouldn't want. These days, a DNR at the Hospital spells out these kinds of interventions and the person can decide yes/no to each specific type of intervention.
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If anyone really believes that we will die when God wants us to, then we wouldn't need physicians at all. Why did God only provide physicians in modern times? It can't be that we are more deserving!
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On another note about 911, not sure if it's offered else where but in Ontario you can dial 911 and ask for just "Lift Assist". The paramedics come just as quick but without the sirens and are there to lift a fallen person. They will also assess if a trip to the hospital is necessary.
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I'm curious, when was the last time she had insulin? If she hasn't had it in a while she could be semi conscious. I found a friend on the floor after 4 days of no insulin, water, food or meds and I had to call 911 on 7/4/17 and she is still hospitalized. Please let us know what happened? God bless you.
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If it is not a medical necessity situation, you can still call for an ambulance for an invalid assistance by the fire department.
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Everyone here has given so much good advice. It is hard sometimes to make those decisions. But I have to agree its better safe than sorry. Make the call. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
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I worked as social worker in a psychiatric hospital and sometimes people DO TELL someomeone that they plan to kill themseles. don't wait to call
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I have the same problem of when to call. I care for a couple both with alzhimer. one of my charges the woman has depression, like what your charge sounds like, The other just wants to go to the hospital everyday. Never can find anything wrong. We started the woman on antidepressants the man has anxiety and is given just enough anxiety meds to keep him calm. to but there comes times where he gets a stomach ace and wants to call an ambulance, sometimes it's just to get attention. The hospital just puts him in a room and let's him calm down, no meds, at first sign in take his vitals if everything checks out. I try to distract him, if this doesn't work I call in someone else's to ether help distract him or help decided to send him to hospital. This is a scary time. you don't want to take the chance of not sending him. If it is an emergency, but he is good at faking illness to get attention. And will refuse medication at home just to get to go to emergency room. In your case I would talk to the doctor about an anti depressant.
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I wish I could like FF's response multiple times to put it at the top of the list! Many time people do not read an entire thread to know what is going on.
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I have also requested some DNR's after some of my procedures, and I always came out OK. DNR is not suicide, and since I do not attend a house of worship nor am I on speaking terms with a lot of my family ( I moved to a new town some seven years ago, and nobody knows where I am; I also have an unlisted telephone number ) , I don't care where my soul goes after I'm gone. I don't care if I land in Heaven or I don't care if I land in H*ll
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Dontask4handout, do NOT ever move a person especially if you find him/her on the floor. They could have fallen down and broken a bone. Lifting them to put on the bed is the WRONG thing to do, shaking them violently is the WRONG thing to do. Jumping up and down on the bed? Bring in a dog to wake the person? Say what???

If a person doesn't wake up the normal route then 911 needs to be called. The person could have past out due to pain, and your suggestions would only do more damage.

Save a ton of money? If the person is 65 or older, Medicare usually pays for the ambulance, and pays 80% of hospital care, then secondary insurance pays the other 20%.

If the parent passes while the EMT's are trying to revive the person, then the county Coroner comes in, and it is up to the Coroner on what to do next. If Hospice care was involved, then the Coroner is not needed.

DNR is NOT a form of suicide. Without DNR we would have a lot of people living via tubes in a vegetative form for 10 years or 25 years, maybe 50 to 75 years. Yes, that many years because machines are keeping the heart pumping.
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Franklin99, if you find your Dad cold to the touch, you still would need to call 911 and they in turn will contact the county Coroner. Then it depends on the laws of your State what comes next. The Coroner may need to find what was the cause of death.

If Dad is warm, call 911, and I would have CPR done if Dad's heart stops. It could one of those things where the EMTs can start the heart quickly. Otherwise you would be wondering if only CPR was done, Dad would still be here. Now if he has a very serious illness, that is different, but if that is the case, Dad wouldn't be living alone.

I know that feeling of trying to call your parent(s) and there is no answer or the line is busy, even if you keep calling for a hour. Does your Dad have a close neighbor that you can call and that neighbor checks the house. Hide a key outside or put a combination box on the front door with the key. Or have Dad get medical alert button, that is if he will wear it.
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Dontaskforhandout's understanding of a Do Not Resusitate (DNR) Order is incorrect. Requesting to not have extraordinary measures used to prolong my life after my heart or breathing has stopped on its own is not suicide. It is, in fact, letting God's will be done rather than trying to over-rule God's decision. Or, letting nature take course, whichever you prefer.
That said, I hope emergency services were contacted by the original poster. Treatment options for conditions prior to the point of DNR are best determined with the help of professionals.
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OK, here is a question in advance pertaining to my 85 year old father. He also is a DNR. But what if I go there and find him dead one day. Do I call 911 or do I call the funeral guy? I'm always afraid of this when he doesn't answer the phone and I have to drive down there.
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Dontask4handout, They have a mental problem, just like people with a physical problem like cancer or diabetes, and can not get out of their depression. I have talked to a Catholic priest about this, and he agrees. Sorry, but your wrong and I'll believe him over anything on youtube.
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What I'd do first is check to see if she has a pulse. I'd also check to see if she's breathing by putting a small mirror in front of her mouth or nose. If she's got a pulse and breathing, I'd then try shaking her really really hard with all of your strength, and even getting up on her bed and jumping up-and-down as hard as you can in an effort to wake her. Another option is to send in all the kids and let them bounce on the bed in an effort to help wake her. This is about the only way you're going to find out if you can rouse her and save tons of money on medical intervention. A final option is to bring in the dog, preferably the biggest dog you can find and let the dog try to wake her. If none of these options work to rouse her then call the squad. With a DNR though, rescuers and medical personnel's hands are actually tied because their options are limited. They can come to her aid, but if she slips away then she'll need to be taken to the morgue and then to the funeral home. I'm not in favor of the DNR, life's not over until God says it's over, and I definitely don't believe in euthanasia.
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DNR does not mean do not call 911.

DNR only means 'do not resuscitate' - I certainly hope you got her to the ER.

I'm 65 and do not want to be resuscitated - but 65 is young and I would hope someone would see I at least got the chance to survive.

The way I explained it to my DH: If you see me stick my finger in an electric socket - Let them bring me back! If you awake and I am gone, please leave me alone.
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Hi Sandwichmum - I have a similar situation - my mum is 91, has advanced dementia, is completely disabled, and can barely communicate. I nurse her at home myself with the help of carers and a palliative care nurse who calls every two or three weeks. Mum has a DNR. Once a parent has signed a DNR you have to realise that that person has said s/he wants nature to take its course without intervention but that doesn't mean that death has to be a terrifying experience or any more uncomfortable than it has to. Therefore, if your mum is leading you to believe that she is struggling for breath, or distressed in any way, you must call an ambulance because the paramedics will make her more comfortable. Equally, however, you must have the DNR on hand otherwise they will take more drastic action and even take her to hospital against your wishes, in the belief that she might be revived there. I have gone through this and found it very stressful as on one occasion when my mum had a hypoxic attack, we had recently moved house and I couldn't put my hands on the DNR. The paramedics were really arguing the toss with me about taking her to hospital and it was only after a discussion with my GP that they backed down. So, keep her comfortable by all means, but honour her earlier wishes.
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sandwichmom, it's been two days since you posted, hope everything is alright.
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I had a diabetic friend who said that when he felt like life was no longer worth living, he would quit taking insulin, go into a coma and die. And, at age 70, after a fall that broke his hip and put him in a walker, that's what he did.
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I'm an MD...I say-call. She could have either DKA or Hypoglycemia, or a Cardiac or Neurologic issue. Her kidneys could be failing. The longer you wait-the less likely they can correct the problem.
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Listen to Grandma1954.
When in doubt, call.
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You can call 911 even if someone has a DNR or POLST.
The difference is the DNR says do not use CPR. The POLST specifies CPR, Intubation, Tube Feeding, Comfort Care..
If she has a DNR and you call 911 they can do what they can within the scope of the DNR or POLST they just can not go beyond that.
My Husband or I should say I had a DNR for him and I called 911 10 times over the course of 3 years for a "Lift Assist" they would help him up after a fall and would help me get him into bed and they would leave. They would always ask if he needed medical attention and I would say no. That was it.  I would sign the papers stating refusal to be transported and they would be gone.
Having a DNR does not mean that you no longer desire medical attention. It just means that you do not want extraordinary means carried out.
When in doubt call.

I should say the exception for calling 911 for medical attention is when someone is on Hospice. Once you are on Hospice your Hospice becomes your 911 and for medical problems you call them. For help lifting someone up after a fall you can call 911 for a "Lift assist" just refuse transport. If the emergency responders think a bone is broken or there needs to be further medical evaluation you tell them the person is on Hospice and that you have called Hospice. (and if that is the case you call Hospice, as a matter of fact call them after you call for the lift assist)
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Who is administering her insulin? She will go into DKA with type 1 diabetes quickly and die. Even though she is DNR, that doesn't mean she should not receive medical treatment at the hospital. DNR means they won't try to revive her if her heart stops-things like that
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Although I am very empathetic with you in your situation, I can't think of anything to suggest...I offermy kind thoughts. My God bless you and guide you in this difficult time..

Grace + Peace,

Bob
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Sendhelp, you are wrong.
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People who are about to make a suicide gesture do not tell others of their plan, if they are serious. She was reaching out, imo.
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It would be considered neglect if you didn't call 911, knowing what you know.
You called, right?
It's okay, you are calling now. You were right to ask.
Are you okay? Let us know.
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Yes, agree call now.
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I think if it was me, I would call now.
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