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For one her kids go home. My big kid is 24/7 365 days a yr. No weekends off no holidays no vacation. Second, the kids she cares for grows more independent where my kid grows more dependent on me. But she still says its the same. HELP me.

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Just another thought - when caring for a child you can count how long you have done so/known them in weeks & months whereas when caring for a senior you can count it in years & decades - this brings so much more emotional baggage -

With an 18 month old kid you look for new steps & milestones then celebrate but with a senior you see the loss of milestones & grieve for the 'good' times when you could carry a conversion about many things [family history, world issues, jokes etc] not the stilted talks about aches & pains - that's for those who can still make sense when they talk -

Today my mom asked me to find a slip to put a boat in a field [possibly as a kid's play house but I'm not sure] - except for the Nanimo bar[if you haven't had one, then google them as they probably are why we Canadians have good senses of humour] I brought her when she did said she loved the chocolate then she made a little sense - when she can't say she loves chocolate then I'll throw in the towel altogether
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While some of the physical labor may be similar, emotionally it isn't at all the same. For all the mindless drudgery that can be involved in childcare, there is also a lot of joy to be had from watching a child grow and learn and develop. Watching a loved one deteriorate is not the same at all.
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Show the non caregiver this thread. And try to convey to them how physically and emotionally draining and demanding caregiving is.

One more thing: it's much more frequent to suffer from depression and permanent stress related illnesses and injuries as a caregiver than as a parent.
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SueC1957 - Reading your post gave me heart. My mother is 88 and has mid-stage dementia. At the moment she is still fairly independent. This year I will be giving up my part-time job to look after her because she has started to become extremely anxious when I am away for any length of time. Her issues are mainly around short term memory, anxiety and making up stories. I have never asked anyone to look after her and would probably lose it if they made the remark mentioned in the original post. I love my mum to bits and cry when I think about what is ahead but your post has really encouraged me. I admire your spirit and patience. God Bless.
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Age is a good point, but the OP is comparing her sister who babysits children with her job caring for her mother, so it wouldn't be relevant in this case.
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Moecam, excellent point about age of the caregiver.

I remember grumbling about how I had to drive my elderly parents all over hill and dale, when a co-worker said I need to remember that my parents had driven me with I was a child....

To this I said, hmmm good point, BUT my parents weren't in their late 60's when I was a child, big difference.
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I forgot to add that generally the caregiver is much older for seniors than for children so is more taxing than for a younger person - we all have our own health issues over & above what our loved ones have

It like comparing apples & oranges - they are both fruit with the red/orange skin but the FLAVOUR IS DIFFERENT!
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Taking care of ONE elderly sick parent is ten times more work than taking care of five kids at a time. It is extremely hard and exhausting and whilst one has every good intention, it can still be draining on the carer. Children are different and one can 'manage' them, while the elderly often do not want to be 'managed'. Stay strong and ignore the silly ignorant comment.
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I've been trying to get that visual out of my head for the past hour.... lol!
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& big “kid” wears bigger diapers & does not learn potty training...& can’t fit on a baby diaper changing table in public bathrooms...
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I've done both babysitting, for younger siblings and others, and caregiving for my mom. I changed my first baby diaper when I was seven years old with assistance from my six-year-old sister (and it was a cloth diaper, mind you : ) If your family member thinks that it's as easy to lift a 120-pound adult on and off the commode as it is to lift a baby onto and off a changing table, then I really don't know what to say.
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Why isn’t your mother in an elder care facility?
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Tell her to keep her opinions to herself. And put that 99 year old woman in a nursing home.
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Moe, the non-caretaking babysitter isn't stupid - - but she is ignorant, and that gives her arrogance which is hard to abide. But right on, let her read this so she knows what people have experienced that she hasn't, and what a good job dgharris is doing in spite of unwarranted outside judgement...
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This 'baby' weighs much more, has experience that makes them sly as a fox, the diapers are bigger, the urine out put is at a vastly higher volume, takes 2 people to to bathe or change clothes - tell her to get her head up from her cell phone & educate herself before she says other things that make her look like a moron like when she said that -

On second thought don't you tell her just let her read this & she'll see what others, who know from actual experience, think of her stupid response
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I hope you can just shake it off. My brother that hasn't helped out has lately decided he needs to be around for all the meetings with therapists and nurses. Yet he doesn't actually do anything. When it's diaper time he's gone. When it's time to watch mom like a hawk. He's distracted by the TV. The "help" ends up taking more of my time since now I have to worry about whether he's really helping or not.
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I think the big point here is that we all would love to have a family member or close friend to "be there for us emotionally" to pat us on the back, to encourage us, to just listen to acknowledge how difficult it all is. Needless to say the very opposite seems to be the norm in regards to people and their attitudes and "mouth". I love SueC1957's post, it hilarious. Simply because we've all been there. Humor is an outlet that helps people deal/cope with the huge pain/sorrow/difficulties of a really bad situation. I agree too with Cwillie. Unfortunately you can't fix stupid. From my experience I have learned to just say hey check out this article or website on the subject and promptly knock the dust off you feet and in the future, change the subject, tell them I've got to do AB or C (one excuse is as good as another) and leave or hang up the phone. I'd say 90% of the time people who make statements like that don't care enough to learn any better about any particular subject. Don't waste your time, Empathy is usually very low ability for these types of people and in many cases doesn't register even a tiny blip on the horizon of their minds. Frustrating big time.
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Children learn and usually obey. But what 80 or 90 year old adult is going to take orders from a 50 year old child that has no experience. " I have done it this way since before you were born." attitude.

Oh and if you do drop the parent off for the day, I would suggest that you not pick them up until after the evening meal. Especially if the LO is hard to please when it comes to food.
Example from my house:she will use the spatula to eat with. She will drink worcestershire sauce straight from the bottle. She will try to eat soup with a fork, even when given a spoon. And the list will go on.
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But I also agree with Jeannegibbs — why bother? Why does it matter that she doesn’t understand the difference? I liked the suggestions “just say ‘yes, there are some similarities’, then let it go and move on.” What we DO control - what we do, say, think. What we DON’T and never will control - what others do, say, think. Let it go, frustrating as it may be. You have enough challenges without trying to change her point of view.
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cwillie, try child minder or baby minder
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Have her read SueC1957’s description of a diaper change. That should do it.
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Love your 1st post Sue1957! Definitely not the same, you can pretty much handle a 2 yr old having a fit but a grown man hitting, biting a refusing direction is another thing😕
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Tell her you want to engage her services for a couple of weeks. Drop your loved one off in the a.m. and you spend the day getting your nails done or go shopping and then home for a nap. Then you pick up in the afternoon. Probably won't last long though. Just a guess.
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Ask her which one of her "babies" weighs as much as Mom. Just having to lift her from a prone position would show the difference immediately.

And a diaper change vs a depends change - no contest.
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Ask your family member for a 'job' swap for a week - she'll soon eat her words.
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Tell the babysitter to GFHS. You will feel much better. LOL. Only kidding. You know in your heart what you do is the right thing. God Bess you. It makes us become better human beings.
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To SueC1957, Many, many thanks for explaining the reality of elder care sooo well. You are a gifted writer and a gifted care giver. Thank you for helping me thru another day (12 years now) of caring for my bipolar, alcoholic, 84 year old Mom, whom I love very much while causing me more daily frustration than anything else on the planet. Our Moms will probably never appreciate what we've done to help them. Yet, we know we are showing them love at a time they need it most. Bless you....
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To SueC1957 - - I didn't mean to laugh, Sue, but I did - - I took care of three dementia-ed family members (Alzheimer's, Alcohol & Drug-induced) over 28 years, and you hit it out of the ballpark !!! No matter which kind - - exactly like that - - and not just doing  lavatory detail, but also in all matters: mealtime, bedtime, outings to the doctor, having company over (guests OR family), having help/assistance in, etc etc !!!!! A little humor never hurts, except that it's not funny !!!!!!!
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I've got to say that I get lots of results using those search terms, but very little of it is relevant. Maybe google USA is different?
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Google baby care vs elder care. There is lots out there.
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