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I probably know the answer here, but I told hubby I would ask.


Mom is currently level II in AL, and has memory loss ... but it’s at the beginning to mid-stage. The one thing she cannot remember is to put her oxygen on. The nursing staff always remind her when they go into her apartment, and we always remind her when we are there. When her oxygen is off, she drops down into the low 80’s or lower, which causes her to get dizzy ... which is no good.


For now we are making it work, and she is doing okay ... but hubby and I wonder what the next step down the road will be, when she needs constant reminders to keep it on? Will that be when she progresses to the point where she needs memory care?


She’s not there yet, and I have no clue if that will be next year or in 5 years, but we just always wonder about the next phase, if it just comes down to the oxygen ... whether her memory progresses downward quickly ... or what happens if that doesn’t happen.


I hope that makes sense. Thanks! ❤️

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Why is she on oxygen? COPD? How old is she? What comes next depends on her medical condition as well as her mental one. Has she been checked for a UTI? Maybe that's what is making her forgetful? If she has a progressive disease, she may need to go into LTC, to cope with her oxygen needs. People usually go into MC if they wander or are a danger to themselves or others. Not sure how far she can wander if she is tethered to oxygen, so maybe not MC. You can certainly talk to the AL or LTC admin for a more accurate answer. Honestly -- I'm not sure you should attempt to "anticipate" anything from now on... you may be spending emotional and mental energies on something that can be better spent in other areas you can actually control. Many people on this forum will tell you how difficult it is to know what will happen from one day to the next. Flexibility and fewer expectations may be a better strategy than trying to plan around the unknowable. Peace to you!
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NekkidFish Oct 2019
Thank you! She has COPD.
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If she goes to either memory care or a nursing home she still won’t be continuously watched to ensure she’s keeping the oxygen in place. That’s not realistic in a place filled with residents with many needs and a limited staff, it’s not one on one care. I’d say it’s time for a conversation with the doctor who ordered the oxygen about a new plan
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NekkidFish Oct 2019
Thank you!
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It sounds to me like your mom will need a sitter to make sure she keeps the oxygen on. As has been pointed out, being in a MC or NH wouldn’t assure her wearing the oxygen. Hopefully someone with this experience will see your post and have suggestions.
My MIL while on hospice would pull hers off. My SIL would gently return the canulla. MIL would take it back off. Finally she told her daughter “If I die, I die”.
She did die a couple of days after that due to cancer not a lack of oxygen.
I saw on line an adjustable headband that holds a device that blows the oxygen towards the nose or mouth. It might be more comfortable to her than the canulla but she might not leave it on either. I know this is a stressful problem. Let us know if you find a solution.
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NekkidFish Oct 2019
Thank you so much!!
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I actually think it's a very GOOD idea to anticipate what comes 'next', because if the ALF decides they cannot care for her properly anymore, they'll give you 30 days notice and then what? I believe in always having a Plan B, especially where my 92 y/o mother is concerned.

Memory Care would be the next level up for your mother, but like others have said, it would not guarantee she'd wear her oxygen there either. But, if she doesn't wear her oxygen in AL, and keeps getting dizzy, then she will fall............and combine that with memory issues and suddenly, she's no longer AL material, but in need of higher level care. That's what happened to my mother, and fortunately, the AL also has a Memory Care building which she was able to move into.

Not wanting to wear the oxygen is a tricky problem, but not something that can be forced unless you want to hire a sitter for her. That turns out to be even more expensive than the monthly rent in the AL, however, and not something feasible for most people. My father hated wearing his oxygen and would pull the cannula out constantly. I will say, in my mother's Memory Care, the staff do hourly checks on her if she's not out in the activity room (where she's encouraged to be at all times). So........the staff CAN make sure she's wearing her oxygen for the vast majority of the time.

If you wind up needing to move your mother into Memory Care, or, if the ALF will keep her there for a while longer, see if they have a service where she's checked on hourly (or even once every 2 hours). They offered this service at my mother's ALF for an extra $200 a month (or thereabouts) and it's well worth the extra expense. Explain that she needs the checks to make sure she's wearing her oxygen, and hopefully they can accommodate you.

Best of luck!
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NekkidFish Oct 2019
Thank you so much! The place where she is at, she lives on the second floor, and their memory care is actually on the third floor. So, should we get to that stage, she could remain at the same place.

they do regularly check on her, but the lack of oxygen and her getting up too quickly, it could cause who knows what. But, as I said, she is only on level two of care there, and they do have a level III and four which would offer more time to her as needed. I am sure that we will be revisiting this around the first of the year if nothing happens between now and then. Thanks again so much!
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