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I am no longer a caregiver since my husband died of Alzheimer's. However, I live with my daughter and granddaughter. I live in the ADU, they live in the main house. I find that I feel chilled even though AC is set at 76. Would it make sense for me to turn on the heater and raise the temperature a bit? My daughter gets hot flashes so she thinks the temperature in the ADU is just right.

I'd get several attractive sweaters or shirts that can be layered. Get them at a thrift store, so not expensive. Take off and put on through the day. I certainly wouldn't put the heater on when the AC is running.

Seems to me that whoever lives in the ADU gets to decide what the AC setting is. Or whoever pays the electric bill. Why can't you have an honest convo with your daughter about this? It seems like basic family communication!
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Reply to Fawnby
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JuliaH Oct 4, 2025
I agree to the discussion. Daughter is easier to control hot flashes than the elderly to stay warm.
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I go through this with my MIL who keeps her house at 78 degrees. I get nauseated whenever I go to her house because to me it’s intolerable and suffocating. I’m physically unable to visit long because of it.

It’s her house so although I would like to see her do the basics like put on socks and shoes and long sleeves etc, if she wants to sit in 78 degrees so she can wear a thin sleeveless nightgown with a thin housecoat and no socks and slippers then she can do that.

I just can’t stay long when I visit.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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Do you have a separate thermostat? I think a comfortable temperature is subjective; it's whatever your body tolerates best. With hot flashes, keeping it cooler makes sense! If you are chilly, turn up the thermostat to 77 or 78.
It DOES NOT make sense to turn on a heater while the AC is set to 76.
Just turn up the AC temp a bit and put a sweater or throw blanket over you if you get chilled. Especially if there is only one thermostat which controls the entire main house and your unit. You are at the mercy of your daughter's comfort setting.
Try getting outside and moving around a bit, especially in the sunshine. That will warm you up.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Buy a Good cashmere sweater and Wool sox and some nice deer skin Moccasins and Open the window .
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Reply to KNance72
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What is ADU? Do you have your own thermostat to control your temperature that is separate from the main house? We keep thermostat at 78F most of the year at my elderly mother’s house. Turn it up to 80 in cold months plus she has an electric heater tower in her sun room where she spends most of her time. Lots of throws and light blankets lying around. 78F plus ceiling fans seems to keep the caregivers content without freezing mom out. Space heater keeps the whole house from heating up to 85F in winter. Good luck. 🍀
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Reply to Beethoven13
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casole Sep 30, 2025
Beethoven, ADU = Accessory Dwelling Unit, kind of like a tiny house or granny flat.

In my area would a be a separate structure. But I imagine some are attached.

This thread has me dreading winter and the monitoring of the thermostat by my are asking my mom every five minutes "is it cold in here" and turning the heat up or down one degree everytime ❄️🔥❄️🔥
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You can only remove so many pieces of clothes to cool off before you are naked, but you can put a lot of layers on to keep warm. Please don't cook your family in the ADU. My MIL kept her house at 80+ and I would get almost nauseaous whenever I went there. Made it very difficult to do any work in her house.

There are many reasons why an elder's body thermostat is running cold -- some has to do with medications and vitamin deficiencies, so maybe get checked by your primary physician.
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Reply to Geaton777
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The surface of the sun.

And even then they’ll fuss about how it’s still too cold.
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BurntCaregiver Oct 9, 2025
LOL
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When I visited my late father on hospice in late November 2013, the heater in the basement was cranked up to about 80 F. I could only spend five minutes there.
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Reply to Patathome01
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NO, you need to put on a jacket. My Mom keeps her assisted living at about 85 degrees. I have to turn it down to even breath in there when it is 107 degrees outside. I give her a blanket or sweater when I'm there.
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Reply to Lylii1
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Whatever is comfortable for you is comfortable for you
I tend to keep my house a bit on the warm side in the summer and a bit on the cool side in the winter. The use of ceiling fans helps. And I do adjust if I am having company (my sister, she is on a blood thinner so she gets cold. and her husband always seems to wear shorts so when they visit...)
I know my Husband would get chilled but I always had a lap blanket for him. Polar Fleece pants and if needed a flannel shirt over a t-shirt.
If you are paying the bill for heating and cooling then keep the temp where it is comfortable for you. If you are not paying for the heating and cooling, offer to pay your portion of the bills.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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