I keep getting asked if I have any help from social services but I do not know what they could do. I am 87 (and have my own health problems) and my husband is 86 with mixed dementia and diabetes arthritis etc . I have do do all his (and mine) medications, check his catheter take his blood pressure take his glucose readings etc etc. Because he is not incontinent and can dress himself the social services say I do not need any help. I am getting that stressed I even forgot to take my own meds and eye drops the other day, My cleaning is hit and miss and my husband is in bed (dizzy he falls a lot) most of the day. I cannot employ a cleaner etc because we seem to have doc or hospital appointments most days and do not have a regular day for cleaner to come. Any advice welcomed thank you. by the way we do not have family here to help.
Ask your doctors to recommend home health services for you so that a visiting nurse can come and assess your needs. That could open the way for visiting nurses to spend time at your house to handle your meds and other medical issues.
I feel as if you've given up in the face of too many difficult issues! Understandable, but there is help. You need to be honest with your doctors and insist that they guide you to the right agency.
Good luck with your search.
To be honest, I think it may be time to see an elder law attorney, look at all assets and apply for in facility care for you BOTH in ALF, Board and Care, or other. This isn't sustainable, not doable.
Is there any other familial support here? You may need to hire in a nurse manager to get some of the wheels in this mess turning.
I don't see how someone would think that an 87 yr old can care for a 86 year old with Dementia without some help. He will only worsen.
Call Office of Aging even Adult Protection Services.
I do have a question for you...
Is your husband a Veteran or are you a Veteran?
If so the VA may be of help it could be a little or a LOT.
Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission or your States Department of Veterans Affairs or even the VA. They can help determine if you would qualify for any benefits. There are many programs the VA has that could help.