Follow
Share

I keep getting asked if I have any help from social services but I do not know what they could do. I am 87 (and have my own health problems) and my husband is 86 with mixed dementia and diabetes arthritis etc . I have do do all his (and mine) medications, check his catheter take his blood pressure take his glucose readings etc etc. Because he is not incontinent and can dress himself the social services say I do not need any help. I am getting that stressed I even forgot to take my own meds and eye drops the other day, My cleaning is hit and miss and my husband is in bed (dizzy he falls a lot) most of the day. I cannot employ a cleaner etc because we seem to have doc or hospital appointments most days and do not have a regular day for cleaner to come. Any advice welcomed thank you. by the way we do not have family here to help.

Find Care & Housing
Mavispat - reach out to your primary care dr and ask for hospice referral, and ask for an agency that your dr knows and uses for referrals. I finally did after I hit rock bottom being sole caregiver of my 88 yr mom with alzheimers for 6 years. If you are unable to care for yourself and your husband, your health issues should qualify you. And know that hospice doesn't mean "6 months or less to live." That's a common misconception about hospice. We are getting a nurse 2x week, aide up to 3 times for bathing, etc, social worker, chaplain. It is support for patient and caregiver. They also offer grief support for surviving caregivers. It's a good resource. Wish I had called sooner. I'm in severe burnout. Get help now. You need it. Sending loving thoughts to you both.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Tiredandalone
Report

You could hire a cleaner to come on Saturdays or Sundays because on those days it's unlikely you'd have doctor appointments. Yes, some cleaners do like to work on Sundays because on weekdays they have other jobs.

Ask your doctors to recommend home health services for you so that a visiting nurse can come and assess your needs. That could open the way for visiting nurses to spend time at your house to handle your meds and other medical issues.

I feel as if you've given up in the face of too many difficult issues! Understandable, but there is help. You need to be honest with your doctors and insist that they guide you to the right agency.

Good luck with your search.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Fawnby
Report

Where does this Social Worker who is claiming that you, at 87, can be full time caregiver to hubby and yourself and that you need no help. WHEREVER she is coming from you need an appeal. You should start with hubby's and your doctors supplying good letters as to your needs, what they are and why they are.

To be honest, I think it may be time to see an elder law attorney, look at all assets and apply for in facility care for you BOTH in ALF, Board and Care, or other. This isn't sustainable, not doable.

Is there any other familial support here? You may need to hire in a nurse manager to get some of the wheels in this mess turning.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

Office of Aging and Social Services provide different services. O of A is good for resources in the County. Pointing you in the right direction. Evaluating your situation. Social Services is helping with Social Security Disability. SSI, supplimental income, food stamps, Medicaid and child welfare.

I don't see how someone would think that an 87 yr old can care for a 86 year old with Dementia without some help. He will only worsen.

Call Office of Aging even Adult Protection Services.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Geaton777 has some great info.
I do have a question for you...
Is your husband a Veteran or are you a Veteran?
If so the VA may be of help it could be a little or a LOT.
Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission or your States Department of Veterans Affairs or even the VA. They can help determine if you would qualify for any benefits. There are many programs the VA has that could help.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter