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My Nanny has progressive Parkinsons and lives in my aunt's land in her own appartment. She is in TX, I'm stationed in Oklahoma.


My aunt is a former heavy drug user and at times mentally unstable. She will not allow family members or friends to visit my grandmother. She claims to be her "legal guardian " but cannot/will not show proof. She does have a POA but it is medical. She claims to have paperwork from a lawyer stating she can decide whether or not people can visit. Is there such a document that exsists?


My Nanny is depressed and cries because no one visits her but she doesn't know my aunt is the reason why. Does this count as isolation? A form of elder abuse? Maybe my aunt does it to spite me but what if something else is going on? Is there a number or someone I can call to get some help?


Edited: I am not the only one she wont let visit. There is a long list.

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The problem with having any agency investigate is that your grandmother is unlikely to throw your aunt under the bus, as dysfunctional as her situation may be she still loves her daughter and is totally dependent on her besides. If the rest of the family can work together to provide an alternative place for your grandmother to live and to provide the level of care she needs you may be able to convince her to jump ship, but I imagine wresting control away from your unstable aunt is likely to get ugly.
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Do you have proof that aunt is saying these things? Or is it all verbal? Without sounding threatening, email auntie to tell her you will be visiting on a certain date at a certain time. See if you receive a response that is similar to what you say she has said. Then go to visit grandma. Others should do the same.

Often people will accuse caregiver of isolating a loved one, but will not attempt a visit. It is kinda a dysfunctional way out of what could be an unpleasant visit.
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Yes, isolating a person is abuse. I would call the police and report it. Your aunt will need to provide proof to them, maybe you can get them to go with you because you are concerned about other abuses.

Is there other family that can take grandma in? Where she will go needs to be determined before you have her removed from her home and that is probably what needs to happen if aunt is keeping everyone away, this is the 1st thing abusers do.

Good luck and let us know how it works out.
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See if APS will do a well check. A guardianship goes thru the courts. There may be a way to see if it was filed.
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Isolation is abuse, but if grandmother won't say anything nothing will be done. Elderly people seem to protect their abusers & not speak against them.
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Isthisrealyreal Mar 2019
Stockholm Syndrome and it happens at all ages.

Old people I think are more fearful because they are soooooo vulnerable. It is heart breaking.
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Is there a reason that she would she not allow visits from family?

Does the grandmother have money that she is after or using now?

How did your grandmother end up with her niece? Is she aware of her past drug usage? Do you suspect she may be using again?

Get a welfare check done.
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I don’t care what legal documents she has, if she even does, she can’t stop the police from doing a welfare check. The police will go out.

My brother is a retired captain and they did welfare checks every time they got a call to do so.

Don’t hesitate calling thinking they won’t follow through. They will. Tell them what you have relayed to us. Make sure you mention the past drug usage. Addicts do ANYTHING for a fix. Please call. Please let us know that she is okay. Take care. You and your nanny will be in my thoughts.
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If your grandmother is isolated and impacted by Parkinson's then who is managing her affairs? I'd be wary of unscrupulous people who have access to her. Is there any good reason that she would isolate her? Are there any family members who ask grandmother for money? I'd try to think of a good reason she might keep her from family members. If there isn't one, I'd wonder what she has to gain by doing this.

I'd likely consult with an attorney and explore obtaining the information you need. If a Guardian has been appointed as JoAnn said, it would be a case name with her name and file number in the courthouse. So, you can find that out. If a Guardian is appointed, they have to file annual accounts to show how the Ward's money is being spent, with receipts.

You can do a police wellness check, but, what they may do is just go in and ask her if she's okay, a few questions and if she answers she's okay, they'll leave. I suppose it's better than nothing, but, I'd want to get the truth.
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