What am I going to do when my mom really needs help?

When you get a chance take her to the city medicaid office and apply for benefits for her. You will need all her info for her ID, SSN, Annual income etc. A case worker will be able to assist you with what medicaid can assist her with. They should be able to give her provider services. Some one who will be able to come over and cook and clean for her. This will at least be a start for much needed help that she needs. Most important of all, pray. Pray like you mean it! You're not the only one in this situation.

You are wise to ask this question before you run into it head first! Start with any and all public groups in your area...I know that Cerritos must have them! Area on Aging calls might help. Call "A Place for Mom" maybe they can give you some tips. How about any friends, church, local hospital? Look in your local newspaper for groups that cover such topics...they can be great resources. Stop feeling alone and do not give up ...you are not alone in situations like this. The search for help might make you feel that way but there are resources. With limited funds do not be persuaded to get involved with any search that may involve your financial contribution. Good luck and post your results.

AllAlone, you can contact your State's Medicaid office to see if your Mom can apply for Medicaid. With Medicaid they can place your Mom into a continuing care facility where she will get 24 hour care and Medicaid will help pay for that care.

Now if your Mom owns a house, Medicaid could possibly place a lien on the house, so when the house is sold, the equity will help reimburse Medicaid.

You are not alone here. This group is wonderful and available 24/7. My mentally ill mother passed 2 weeks ago at age 82. I have been caring for her in one way or another most of her adult life. My brother wanted nothing to do with any of it. He is just waiting for his part of inheritance. So you see you are in good company here. You need to get legal documents in order to help get her in to a nursing home. It is not easy to place a person with your mom's history but it can be done. As mentioned "A Place for Mom" is a good starting point. If you can enlist her doctor's help do so. My mother was hospitalized immediately before she went into nursing home and the staff at the hospital got her into a facility. This was very helpful to me. Keep posting here and be brave. It is not easy but just remember you are not alone. ❤️

If she has a mental illness diagnosis, then she already needs help with whatever the challenge is. There are doctors who can treat on a sliding scale, just find one. There are plenty of meds to help with a mental illness, so get her the help she needs. Do not worry about something that has not happened yet.

Though not an only child, my siblings live in another city and I am the primary caregiver for my 83-year-old mom. Since April, it has been a big learning experience. The good news? There are a ton of government and city services for the aging population. Start with the local Corp. for the Aging. Then grab a big bundle of patience and take your mother with you to the Medicade office. They will let you know all of the programs you mom qualifies for. Many "all-inclusive" heath car agencies are popping up. Our city has a few. I enrolled my mom in one and they pick her up and take her to their facility where she receives all medical care with the exception of visits where she goes for tests of major specialists. One thing lead to another and the more I talked with friends and church members the more excellent advice I received. Just yesterday she received a call for the brand new senior building we've been waiting for. The sold her house years ago and has a small income so she qualifies for a lot including a home health aid, help with minor housekeeping, etc. I found a beautiful school that will do her hair for just $10. One local hospital here also has classes for caregivers. The senior center (of which I can attend since I'm 62) offers yoga classes for $10/month and massage $40/month. There is a lot of help out there. A Place for Mom, as mentioned here, is a good start. If your mom has enough money, speak with an elder-care attorney about getting a POA while you still can. I've found my mother's doctors were good at bringing this subject up. Bless you. And if you can't find a circle of people to talk with, START ONE. Not to moan, but to take care of your self. It can get depressing and overwhelming.

Sooo sorry for the typos. Was rushing to finish this before heading out.

AllAlone, you could also discuss with her primary care doctor about her fragility. Many doctors co-ordinate with their patients' insurance companies and some have a social worker to help their patients. Please have a frank discussion about your mom's situation. As for being alone, being an only child is not the only way to be alone. I have 5 brothers and 1 half sister and many times it feels like I am an only child. But the others here have given you many wonderful options. Keep us up to date. Good luck, and you are not alone.

Hi, I feel your stress. i went through a severe depression after thrown in an immediate turmoil with my mom. I would first get power of attorney for her medically and financially before things get worse. These papers are easy to get. I would then contact a elder care attorney to have things in order in case you have to have your mom in a nursing home. Medicaid is the best way to go if the time comes as a nursing home could cost 6000.00 a month and is so out of reach for most people. I'm suggesting just to have these plans in order in case you need it. I had to get everything set for mom three years ago after she had back surgery. She came out with dementia and is unable to take of herself. I wish I could have been the kind of person that could of taken care of her, but I couldn't.

I am only child and despite all the post and suggestions. You are alone. Trust me you need to worry about it. Agencies just give you more things to do when your already overwhelmed. Go by your gut. Don't let your mother deter you. Do what works best for you, then her as far as appointments n things but really I have not found anything helpful other than being here and being able to Honestly say I hate taking care of my mother. She never cared for me and now I'm forced to care for her. So just take care of you.