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I am living with in one bedroom apartment with my husband and his mom from past 2 years , they both are hoarders and I am clean person. My husband does electronic hoardings and my mother in law hoards mails, used tissues, toilet papers clothes and anything and everything, I cleaned my apartment many times and throw away many of my husband stuff which is useless but they both dont like it they don't care about living in neat place. I asked her to help her in sorting stuff but she is sweet talker does nothing but it annoys me alot I cannot socailze with people I cannot invite people over my home. I have severe depression anxiety and sometimes I feel burn in my heart, she lives like trash never cleans anything. I bought her closet and bed and hampers so that she can arrange her stuff, and she goes to restroom three times in the night time, staying around 1 hour in restroom clicking selfies, restroom is in our room, and she does invites her boyfriend in our apartment in our absence and when we caught her doing this she starts playing victim saying I will do suicide and all I am not happy at all. It seems like my marriage is coming to an end. I don't know what to do?

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If she wont move...I would move.  There is no way I could deal with this.  Your husband is one thing, the MIL...no!  You do not have to deal with her disgusting habits.  Seriously, at her age...selfies in the bathroom...the thoughts I am having along are making me want to day drink...ugh...no!
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If she won't move, I would, you are not going to change either one of them, so the ball is in your court. Ask yourself...Do I deserve better? If the answer is yes, then it is time to move on. Good Luck!
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I said this on another post, I am surprised your landlord allows this. Where does MIL sleep. And the privacy issue. Time to find her a place of her own. There are Senior apts that only charge 30% of your income. She could get help with utilities and food. If low income, Medicaid for her health insurance. Go to ur Social Services office and ask for help.
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Wellbeing Oct 2019
Evertime I try to find place for her she says that her money got stolen somebody steals my bags somebody took it from ATM .
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Im having nightmares about MIL in bathroom taking selfies! How old is she, and you? Are they on FB or just for herself? And what do she and BF do ? If she is younger, I guess you are stuck with her having a BF. .maybe she will move in with him? I am a little confused about "electronic hoarding".. like actual devices or stuff on the computer? It does sound like you may feel better with more space, like a bigger home if you still want all of you to live together, but this would drive me insane.. And if the only bathroom is in your bedroom that would be a deal breaker at 3x a night!
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Geaton777 Oct 2019
Hoarding is a mental illness. Going into a larger space will just mean they will keep hoarding until that space is also full and filthy. They both need help from a accredited therapist who specializes in this disorder.
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Wellbeing, your well being is important! Have a talk with your husband, find out how much your home, health, marriage, and concerns really matter to him. I’m afraid you may find he’s more concerned with his mother and her mess and self destruction. If so, you’ll at least be blessed to know exactly where things stand and can make a plan to move on and make a better life for yourself. If your husband cares to change things, together you’ll move your MIL out and make your home your own. Please let us know how you are as you move forward and sort this out
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She goes to the bathroom, in YOUR bedroom, 3 times in the night, stays in there for an hour TAKING SELFIES? I read that twice, and it still doesn't make sense!
Brings the b/f over and then threatens to commit SUICIDE when you ask her about it?

Get out. Save yourself. Some situations are just TOO screwed up to be salvaged. This sounds like one of them.

How have you withstood the nightmare thus far? 2 hoarders and 3 people in a 1 bedroom apartment..........you are one tough cookie!

Best of luck.
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Wellbeing Oct 2019
I have nightmares all the time in nights I woke up in the night I feel so depressed sad I feel like I cannot tell anyone that's my family but now I m getting upset and weak
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This might just be a blessing in disguise for you. If your marriage is coming to an end and you are getting a divorce, please find yourself an apartment and move out. You will be free of this horrid living situation, and be able to start fresh! It's your (ex) husband's problem now!! You will have your own clean living space, and you will be able to have friends over and be proud of your new home! Congratulations and please move out and move on!
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Excellent answer! Best way to get away from these two hoarders. If you want to save your marriage, get your mother out of your home. Tell your husband he needs to clean out or you will be finding your own place. Living in clutter is very stressful, if you are a neat person who likes order in there lives.
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