Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Are they living alone? Is it because they're competent and just don't want to heed your advice? If so, that's their choice. Or is it because they're incompetent and don't understand? If so then maybe they should not be living alone anymore.
Are they living with someone? If so you could put a code on the door that they don't know, or a more complicated lock -- BUT only if they are never left alone, due to this being a potential danger in case of a fire or other emergency.
Can you put a sign on the inside of the door right where they can see it, by the doorknob? Something to the effect of only opening the door to someone you know.
If the person doesn't have sense enough to not open the door for strangers, they cannot be left alone anymore. So if you're dealing with a stubborn elder who lives alone, it's time to go to the police and ask them to do wellness checks on them and to make a call to APS (Adult Protective Sevices). If this elder is living with you or someone else, they need someone to be in the home supervising them 24/7. Or they need to be put into adult daycare when no one is at home. Or they need to be put into a care facility.
I have a client that opened the door to scammers. These people are no longer safe being alone; especially, in a predatory society that we live in. They should not be answering phones either.
My husband is almost 79 and still opens the door to those people that solicit. I think he does it because I tell him not too. No Demenentia just a stubborn person. I think these people going from house to house should be illegal for no other reason than to protect our Elderly. I have told them not interested, thats when they should walk away, they don't. Me, I don't answer the door. Want a ring camera, keep suggesting. I am mostly on the second floor. This way I see who is there and ignore or talk to them thru the ring camera.
MIL is fully competent, you just move her to assisted living against her will. I think all you can do is thoroughly explain the possible consequences to her, and put up the cameras as described. At that point, you have done all you can.
What to do? You increase supervision. It is not a certainty that they need assisted living yet, if you are also living there.
Here are some examples in varying degrees:
1) A husband (not elderly, not incompetent) prefers to open the door to strangers. Even though his wife does not want the door answered to strangers, (or at all.)
2) A husband, cognitively challenged, opens the door to a neighbor who is carrying a cigarette, who follows him into the bedroom where his wife is taking a nap. Grrrr! Now, we both never answer the door, he goes out the back door to talk to someone.
3) A senior, 91, opens the door to strangers. Cannot be corrected.
You can put a sign on the door (outside) DO NOT DISTURB, DOG BITES You can place a driveway monitor that notifies you loudly in advance that someone is coming to the door, and you answer it. You can increase supervision of the 91 year old, and instead of correcting him, answer the door yourself or be there with him.
My dad was found fully competent til his dying days by several doctors and he consistently opened his door to strangers. We told him many times it was a bad idea, advised against it, cautioned him about scammers, etc. all to no avail. We came to see he was from a simpler time, where people, including salesmen came by often. He was lonely and liked the conversation. He’d talk to anyone, about the condition of his roof, about his need for more insurance, about magazine subscriptions, about their faith and his, about whatever they were peddling. He never bought a thing, he just liked the company, it gave him something to do despite knowing it made it obvious he was an old man living alone. Our family didn’t like it, but he wasn’t changing. Grateful nothing bad ever happened and feel a tad sorry for those who got more than they bargained for when trapped in long conversation with dad. So, what to do, depends on seniors cognitive skills and the family level of acceptance of risk. We made peace with it
My MIL is completely competent, but like an earlier post pointed out, from a simpler and more trustworthy time. She has put herself in several very scary situations by opening the door to strangers. We will be installing a camera that activates with movement. When cameras are activated, my husband and his brother both get an alert to their phones. Then they can ask over a speaker, “Who are you and what do you want?” If that person is sketchy ( not an unannounced friend visit) they can tell the caller to move along or the police will be called. There is a little less stress knowing that everyone is recorded and that a strong male voice will be responding to their entry to the property.
This is a senior who needs supervision. Or let them be and take your chances that they will not be harmed. You can't control everything. Many seniors do things that are unsafe, unwise, are targeted by financial scams, and are victims of financial exploitation or physical abuse from family members.
You have gotten a mostly unanimous answer to your question: supervision.
I would like to add a suggestion: that the beginnings of dementia and/or memory loss may also be at play. Has she had the baseline test from her primary doctor? Her lack of good judgment will continue to be a problem and it would benefit the both of you to educate yourself on what strategies there are to help you better manage your LO with age-related impairment. I learned a lot from Teepa Snow videos on YouTube.
The camera is a good idea. Opening the door to a stranger is very danherous. My father used to rush to the door everytime he heard a knock. I mean, run, I thought he was going to break his leg. If I would try to stop him he would push me ouit of the way. Really, he did this. So since I could run faster then he could, I just tried to make it to the door before him.:)
I moved into a house that was modified for an elderly person the door really isn’t easy to open at all maybe contact care places and find out a suitable one if funds allow otherwise maybe trick her into diverting her attention and get one of those camera /video doir bells and tell her it’s the latest technology - you can see who’s outside without opening the door — after checking with care homes etc for their advice if nothing changes I might be tempted to semi put scarred in oh end of road someone got burgled they open the door and the thief barged in and knocked her onto the floor of someone told be that I Wouldn’t open the door again if she is fully in her senses then I’d do a scare tactic
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Are they living with someone? If so you could put a code on the door that they don't know, or a more complicated lock -- BUT only if they are never left alone, due to this being a potential danger in case of a fire or other emergency.
When a person has gotten to a point where they need a sign like this they are not competent to be staying on their own anymore.
If the 91 year old is opening the door to strangers, a sign is not going to help. They can't be left alone anymore.
You increase supervision.
It is not a certainty that they need assisted living yet, if you are also living there.
Here are some examples in varying degrees:
1) A husband (not elderly, not incompetent) prefers to open the door to strangers.
Even though his wife does not want the door answered to strangers, (or at all.)
2) A husband, cognitively challenged, opens the door to a neighbor who is carrying a cigarette, who follows him into the bedroom where his wife is taking a nap. Grrrr! Now, we both never answer the door, he goes out the back door to talk to someone.
3) A senior, 91, opens the door to strangers. Cannot be corrected.
You can put a sign on the door (outside) DO NOT DISTURB, DOG BITES
You can place a driveway monitor that notifies you loudly in advance that someone is coming to the door, and you answer it.
You can increase supervision of the 91 year old, and instead of correcting him, answer the door yourself or be there with him.
Frustrating, isn't it?
I would like to add a suggestion: that the beginnings of dementia and/or memory loss may also be at play. Has she had the baseline test from her primary doctor? Her lack of good judgment will continue to be a problem and it would benefit the both of you to educate yourself on what strategies there are to help you better manage your LO with age-related impairment. I learned a lot from Teepa Snow videos on YouTube.
the door really isn’t easy to open at all
maybe contact care places and find out a suitable one if funds allow
otherwise maybe trick her into diverting her attention and
get one of those camera /video doir bells and tell her it’s the latest technology - you can see who’s outside without opening the door
—
after checking with care homes etc for their advice
if nothing changes I might be tempted to semi put scarred in
oh end of road someone got burgled
they open the door and the thief barged in and knocked her onto the floor
of someone told be that I Wouldn’t open the door again
if she is fully in her senses then I’d do a scare tactic