What to do when a family members physician will not speak to you in regards to concerns about medications without the patient's consent?

You can always talk to your local police department or sheriff if you feel you have concerns regarding over-prescribing narcotics. most states are cracking down on narcotic abuse.

good luck, if her family wants to kill them they'll let them. next when she starts getting sick from the bad side effects they'll sign her up for hospice which is what I am finding out the hard way is a legal way for family to murder there family. its one thing when the person is really dying, its another thing when a person is not dying and someone being able to sign them up against there will right in front of every body its another thing.

If you do not have power of attorney for health care, and the permission of the patient, no doctor is allowed by LAW to speak with you. However, if you have real concerns about the combination of vicodin and valium being prescribed by the physician you tell that MD IN WRITING certified mail of your concerns, of the symptoms you are seeing that concern you, and tell the MD that if this is not addressed you feel you must, in your mother's own interest, report his prescribing of such medications to an elder to both his hospital and to the MD assn he may be a member of. IF your MIL is to be withdrawn from these meds it must be VERY carefully as it can be deadly to do so. May I ask what side effects are alarming to you?

You need to have power of attorney so that they are able to give you that information and you are able to make decisions on her behalf .I'm in the process of getting it for my mom .

HIPAA laws protect a patient's right to confidentiality. A signed authorization release of information needed for a Physician to legally communicate. May I ask if a Social worker is assigned to Mother ? How about an Executor / POA ? If she becomes a danger to herself and others call 911 immediately.

I'm curious as to HOW she is getting these drugs, month after month with no evidence of her seeing her dr.

I am on both anti anxiety meds and opiates and boy, I get the 3rd degree every 3 months. My PCP is on top of the law and will NOT refill prior to 90% of the drugs being used. My psych doc prescribes the antianxiety meds.

Now, playing devil's advocate for a second---do you know the names and dosages of her meds? A Tylenol 3 is like a Tic-Tac to me and my arthritis and back pain. One valium? I wouldn't even notice it. I have a friend who does not understand pain meds--she had a knee replaced and I went to care for her one day. She was beyond upset that her dr has prescribed her 1-2, 5 mg Norco every 4-6 hr for pain, with 600 mgs of ibuprofen 'piggybacked' in there. She's 2 days out of major surgery and sobbing in pain b/c she had taken ONE Norco 4.5 hours earlier and 'couldn't take anything else for 90 minutes.' I explained to her that she could take another Norco, the ibuprofen and we'd have her on a 5 hr schedule and she could slowly taper off. She was in enough pain she did take the 2nd Norco. It took a few hours with me gently coaxing her and icing her knee before she finally said "Oh, I think I'll be OK". It took 3 hrs for the pain to go from what she called a 10 to a manageable 4. It was absolutely horrible and sad b/c she really, really was suffering, but she had seen all the billboards about opiates being 'killers'. Not a dumb woman, just really, really, uneducated.

She was off all but the ibuprofen in a week and flushed the remaining Norco--although I told her it is not a bad thing to have a stronger pain med available....she was absolutely frantic about addiction.

You know who the MOST ADDICTED people in the USA are??? Anesthesiologists. I know, b/c my DIL is one and she TOLD me. She said the 'opiate crisis' is an inflated scare tactic made up by the gov't. TRUE drug abusers will get the stuff they crave, no matter what. The pendulum will swing back towards center and we won't all be so panicky.

Not saying your MIL doesn't have a problem, but it would be a lot more helpful if you KNEW what she was taking. Old people hurt. IMHO, it's criminal to withhold pain meds from them. I know w/o mine I would not be able to function on a daily basis.

I do think you need to address her behavior and such, but I wouldn't do so without a LOT more information.

My dad's doctor talked to me, but would not delete unnecessary meds. I changed doctors and had no problems. The new doctor listened, reduced my dad's meds, and my dad improved.

I agree strongly with Lizzys ans. re: a POA. My husband and I had POAs & DNRs put in place years ago. When he was diagnosed with dementia saved me so much angst. My first clue was when he still went to his dr. appts. by himself & I would ask what the dr. said? After several "I don't know" or "I don't remember" I decided to go with him. When he could no longer make decisions nor able to answer questions etc. and referred to a neurologist, I've had no problems. Our oldest daughter was named also in case we were ever unable to act for each other. It's never to late. We sought an atty. because we had the income. Many states have Sr. Service agencies that provide legal help.
You are not alone. Prayers and blessing for your family.

There was an article quite some time ago in the New York Times  (www.nytimes.com)that addressed this issue. I think it was called, "A Law Misunderstood," but I'm not sure. It goes into detail about how the HIPAA law, designed to protect a patient's privacy, is often misunderstood, and consequently, sometimes keeps well-intentioned people out of the loop.  You could do a Google search for the HIPAA law and/or maybe consult an eldercare attorney who might be familiar with it. This might help your situation. I am not a lawyer; I'm just passing along some information.  Also, you could do a Google search to see if the two drugs that you mentioned are incompatible with each other. Best of luck.

Typically you have to be an authorized person with the elder's doctor to be able to speak to the doctor. However, since Vicodin and Diazepam are in a class of drugs where you usually have to show photo ID for pharmacy pickup, this should warrant ractcheting this request further up the chain of command at the doctor's office. Also, the incorrect "cocktail of meds," aka side effects, should be a red flag for the pharmacist, who should then tell the person picking up the RXs.

Because of privacy laws, her doctor can not talk to you unless you have a medical power of attorney (and she is not competent) or you have legal guardianship of her (lengthy and expensive legal process).

If she is acting strange - as in overmedicated - take to the ER or call EMS. They can get her for inpatient treatment for overmedication or medication dependency issues (preferable term compared to OD which is near fatal). Unless she is declared incompetent, she has the right to live her life any way she chooses.

If she has signs of substance abuse/dependency that is interfering with her life and relationships, I recommend you both attend Alanon or a similar support group for family and friends of substance dependent people. You need to avoid co-dependency issues while trying to obtain better care for her.

How about having her sign a POA. power of attorney would give you the right to get involved in your mother in laws health issues.
I had the same issue when my dad became ill, went to lawyer got the POA and from that point I had no issues whatsoever.

You can call EMS if you suspect overdose. Doctors do not speak with family members about drugs without the written or expressed permission of their patient. It is against the law to do so. Certainly you are FREE to call the doctor's office if you suspect that you have seen symptoms or side effects of these medications that are worrisome to you. They may listen, but cannot discuss.

Former EMS here - if you can get the Police there while she is in the middle of one of her meltdowns, they can Baker Act her. That will get her sent to a psych hospital or ward for evaluation. Maybe something will be done that way. But INSIST THAT SHE CANNOT SAFELY LIVE ALONE when it is time for discharge. And you have to stand strong and refuse to accept responsibility for her. The makes her the hospital’s problem. They will have to find a bed for her. Good luck.

Without her consent the doctor legally can not talk to you. Your only way would be for her to be declared incompetent and someone to take her for her

You can write a letter with the patient's name and date of birth to her doctor.  Give the facts, not the emotions, and let the doctor know about the alarming effects you are seeing, the amount and strength of medications she is taking and very importantly, other medications she is taking from other doctors. Make a copy of this letter before you mail or give it to the doctor's front desk. Medical charts are often incomplete or inaccurate so the physician has no clue how accurate the medical record is.  Your letter will help tremendously. Again, just give the facts. No promises if the doctor will or will not act on it but at least you know the letter was written and you have expressed your concerns to the person who monitors your loved one's medical care.

I like the letter idea a lot. Written documentation! Great suggestion!

He's not allowed to talk with you about it -- but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to talk to him. I was in a similar situation, also involving addiction, and I called the doctor and said exactly that: "I know that because of confidentiality laws, you're not allowed to give me information, or even to confirm that this is a patient of yours. But I have information that you as a medical provider need to be aware of." And the doctor did listen, though he was not allowed to comment. If you think this is a case of a doctor simply being unaware of how the patient is responding (as opposed to being negligent), you also could write out your concerns in a letter and send it to him/her. Obviously, if you think this is a case of negligence, you should consider reporting this, as other people have suggested.

Try and get Mom to Sign on for Someone to be POA for her. Or speak to Her about a Permission slip.

If you do not have the patient's permission and/or POA to access her chart and information, the doctor will *NOT* discuss anything with you. As long as you have permission to access her chart, the doctor should never withhold any information from you. If you are not POA or do not have written authorization to access her information, the doctor is protecting his client in accordance to Federal laws.

If you feel the doctor is abusing the patient due to over-prescribing narcotics, contact your local sheriff's department.

Get her to sign a disclosure statement.
Her physician is just covering his behind from lawsuits.

You contact your State medical licensure board and file a complaint. Can also file complaint with APS.

OP has not volunteered more info beyond reporting boilerplate information.

Are you her DPOA or Guardian...if not make sure you are even go to court for this. Is your Mother able to make her own decisions on her health care does she have any form of dementia can you ask what the reason is for prescribing these medications to her.

Find a new doctor.

Why on Earth would you not call 911 and have her taken to the hospital when she starts acting this way? If someone locks themselves in a bathroom for a week and doesn't eat by day 2 you should have called Adult Protective Services and the police. Frankly, someone is going to turn you in for elder neglect because to knowingly let someone stay in a bathroom and not eat for a week is neglect. Forget the doctor, he is the least of your problems, call APS and 911.

"She has even accused my wife of physical abuse and has even called police and in effect my wife had to spend days in jail for domestic abuse."

You are prioritizing your mother over your wife.

Please move out and get away from this toxic situation.

How old is she and does she need pain pills? What are her side affects?

How about looking into the Baker act?

For goodness sake, get this woman to another doctor!
FI'll out the paperwork and list yourselves under the people that the doctor can talk to.
Sign her name in the signature area. There is a place to explain why you're signing..explain that she is unable to sign.