What to do when a family members physician will not speak to you in regards to concerns about medications without the patient's consent?

You can call EMS if you suspect overdose. Doctors do not speak with family members about drugs without the written or expressed permission of their patient. It is against the law to do so. Certainly you are FREE to call the doctor's office if you suspect that you have seen symptoms or side effects of these medications that are worrisome to you. They may listen, but cannot discuss.

How about having her sign a POA. power of attorney would give you the right to get involved in your mother in laws health issues.
I had the same issue when my dad became ill, went to lawyer got the POA and from that point I had no issues whatsoever.

Because of privacy laws, her doctor can not talk to you unless you have a medical power of attorney (and she is not competent) or you have legal guardianship of her (lengthy and expensive legal process).

If she is acting strange - as in overmedicated - take to the ER or call EMS. They can get her for inpatient treatment for overmedication or medication dependency issues (preferable term compared to OD which is near fatal). Unless she is declared incompetent, she has the right to live her life any way she chooses.

If she has signs of substance abuse/dependency that is interfering with her life and relationships, I recommend you both attend Alanon or a similar support group for family and friends of substance dependent people. You need to avoid co-dependency issues while trying to obtain better care for her.

Typically you have to be an authorized person with the elder's doctor to be able to speak to the doctor. However, since Vicodin and Diazepam are in a class of drugs where you usually have to show photo ID for pharmacy pickup, this should warrant ractcheting this request further up the chain of command at the doctor's office. Also, the incorrect "cocktail of meds," aka side effects, should be a red flag for the pharmacist, who should then tell the person picking up the RXs.

There was an article quite some time ago in the New York Times  (www.nytimes.com)that addressed this issue. I think it was called, "A Law Misunderstood," but I'm not sure. It goes into detail about how the HIPAA law, designed to protect a patient's privacy, is often misunderstood, and consequently, sometimes keeps well-intentioned people out of the loop.  You could do a Google search for the HIPAA law and/or maybe consult an eldercare attorney who might be familiar with it. This might help your situation. I am not a lawyer; I'm just passing along some information.  Also, you could do a Google search to see if the two drugs that you mentioned are incompatible with each other. Best of luck.

I agree strongly with Lizzys ans. re: a POA. My husband and I had POAs & DNRs put in place years ago. When he was diagnosed with dementia saved me so much angst. My first clue was when he still went to his dr. appts. by himself & I would ask what the dr. said? After several "I don't know" or "I don't remember" I decided to go with him. When he could no longer make decisions nor able to answer questions etc. and referred to a neurologist, I've had no problems. Our oldest daughter was named also in case we were ever unable to act for each other. It's never to late. We sought an atty. because we had the income. Many states have Sr. Service agencies that provide legal help.
You are not alone. Prayers and blessing for your family.

My dad's doctor talked to me, but would not delete unnecessary meds. I changed doctors and had no problems. The new doctor listened, reduced my dad's meds, and my dad improved.

I'm curious as to HOW she is getting these drugs, month after month with no evidence of her seeing her dr.

I am on both anti anxiety meds and opiates and boy, I get the 3rd degree every 3 months. My PCP is on top of the law and will NOT refill prior to 90% of the drugs being used. My psych doc prescribes the antianxiety meds.

Now, playing devil's advocate for a second---do you know the names and dosages of her meds? A Tylenol 3 is like a Tic-Tac to me and my arthritis and back pain. One valium? I wouldn't even notice it. I have a friend who does not understand pain meds--she had a knee replaced and I went to care for her one day. She was beyond upset that her dr has prescribed her 1-2, 5 mg Norco every 4-6 hr for pain, with 600 mgs of ibuprofen 'piggybacked' in there. She's 2 days out of major surgery and sobbing in pain b/c she had taken ONE Norco 4.5 hours earlier and 'couldn't take anything else for 90 minutes.' I explained to her that she could take another Norco, the ibuprofen and we'd have her on a 5 hr schedule and she could slowly taper off. She was in enough pain she did take the 2nd Norco. It took a few hours with me gently coaxing her and icing her knee before she finally said "Oh, I think I'll be OK". It took 3 hrs for the pain to go from what she called a 10 to a manageable 4. It was absolutely horrible and sad b/c she really, really was suffering, but she had seen all the billboards about opiates being 'killers'. Not a dumb woman, just really, really, uneducated.

She was off all but the ibuprofen in a week and flushed the remaining Norco--although I told her it is not a bad thing to have a stronger pain med available....she was absolutely frantic about addiction.

You know who the MOST ADDICTED people in the USA are??? Anesthesiologists. I know, b/c my DIL is one and she TOLD me. She said the 'opiate crisis' is an inflated scare tactic made up by the gov't. TRUE drug abusers will get the stuff they crave, no matter what. The pendulum will swing back towards center and we won't all be so panicky.

Not saying your MIL doesn't have a problem, but it would be a lot more helpful if you KNEW what she was taking. Old people hurt. IMHO, it's criminal to withhold pain meds from them. I know w/o mine I would not be able to function on a daily basis.

I do think you need to address her behavior and such, but I wouldn't do so without a LOT more information.

HIPAA laws protect a patient's right to confidentiality. A signed authorization release of information needed for a Physician to legally communicate. May I ask if a Social worker is assigned to Mother ? How about an Executor / POA ? If she becomes a danger to herself and others call 911 immediately.

You need to have power of attorney so that they are able to give you that information and you are able to make decisions on her behalf .I'm in the process of getting it for my mom .

If you do not have power of attorney for health care, and the permission of the patient, no doctor is allowed by LAW to speak with you. However, if you have real concerns about the combination of vicodin and valium being prescribed by the physician you tell that MD IN WRITING certified mail of your concerns, of the symptoms you are seeing that concern you, and tell the MD that if this is not addressed you feel you must, in your mother's own interest, report his prescribing of such medications to an elder to both his hospital and to the MD assn he may be a member of. IF your MIL is to be withdrawn from these meds it must be VERY carefully as it can be deadly to do so. May I ask what side effects are alarming to you?

good luck, if her family wants to kill them they'll let them. next when she starts getting sick from the bad side effects they'll sign her up for hospice which is what I am finding out the hard way is a legal way for family to murder there family. its one thing when the person is really dying, its another thing when a person is not dying and someone being able to sign them up against there will right in front of every body its another thing.

You can always talk to your local police department or sheriff if you feel you have concerns regarding over-prescribing narcotics. most states are cracking down on narcotic abuse.