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I am an IHSS care provider and have cared for this individual for 6 years and have been through the last 2 years a complete change of personality when I divorced and needed to use some of her space with personal materials she was thrilled I have found that all of my items are disappearing they're just disappearing with no explanation she's become aggressive she's attacked me two or three times and when the police are called she turns the story on me to try to have me arrested then feels bad about it doesn't want me to leave gets abusive when I go to leave I was trying to pack a bag and grab my cat because I stay with her 3 days a week and when I did I'm leaving peacefully I've got my car going just gets hostile she attacks me grabs the cat food grabs the cat grabs my bags and starts ripping them out of my hand she winds up strangling me holding on to me because I'm trying to leave the house the police are called and I'm the one they're looking forward to arrest because she lied through her teeth afraid they would arrest her and I'm just beside myself they came in the house and they took a lot of my property saying that well I don't even know so we can't even try to sue the police because she's the one behind it all and she won't tell anybody but really happened I have a lot of it on audio and on video and I know I'm not going to built I'm not the villain but I'm losing my own things that I need just to survive so she keeps me trapped here because I can't make it on my own I would have made it on my own with some of my civil war items and she knew that but all of the things that are worth money she's taken she had nothing she was homeless when I found her I got her housing voucher got on food stamps found her cute cottage and all she's done since is she's tricked me she's calmed me and she's a big fraud she acts like she's old and frail since the age of 50 now she's 72 she was 73 and there's nothing really wrong with her she's been conning you know scamming the system for a long time like she's got disability but yet she claims she can barely walk but she walks just fine it's just when other social workers are here she acts like she can't walk in the durability is horrible but yet she can scale an entire fence she can climb she can walk to town she can do all kinds of things she can attack me and there's nothing wrong with her so she's got me stuck in this situation and I don't know what to do she got me trapped here I have never been abusive to her I'm not an abusive person but I don't want to be here anymore but she's taking all the means I can do to get away from her and it's her she's now 73 years old and there's nothing wrong with her she just is controlling and she doesn't like that I know she's not this nice sweet little tiny little lady who couldn't hurt a fly that is not the truth of her at all sincerely.. the thing is she had red flags I never wanted to be here care provider she just offered me this IHSS check and she's used it before and she's had other care providers that have left or disappeared or ones that she wound up caring for and then putting in a home and taking the lady's house car and everything she owned and her social security she became the guardianship well it looks like I'm her next victim I just want to get my things except now we're fighting the police department because there's never charges brought against me she backed off of it each and every time but of course I didn't bring charges against her which I should have but my property which we have to fight the police to get and she doesn't realize she just a parent that likes to have drama in her life and I'm trying to get away from her and that's the issue I want my property back and I want to be gone she took only the items that I was going to sell that I had left from the divorce only that most important priceless items that can't be replaced it would have been enough to sell them I could get away from her and get out from underneath this she d

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Lord have mercy!!! Did they not teach you any punctuation in school? I pretty much gave up trying to read your long saga, because of the lack of any punctuation.
But from what I could gather, you got yourself into this hot mess and only you can get yourself out, so cut your losses and let this be a lesson learned.
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BurntCaregiver Apr 2023
Well said, funkygrandma.
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This is one of the craziest stories that I have ever read on this site. It doesn’t even sound believable.

How many 70plus year old women can climb over a fence? Why is she climbing a fence to begin with?

Personally, I would rather be anywhere than with this woman. How have you lasted as long as you have in her home?

Since she attacks you when you try to leave, wait until she is asleep, walk out of the door, get in your car and drive away.
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IHSS stands for In Home Supportive Services in CA (I didn't know this; had to look it up). The ca.gov website says this:

"If you are approved for IHSS, you must hire someone (your individual provider) to perform the authorized services. You are considered your provider's employer and, therefore, it is your responsibility to hire, train, supervise, and fire this individual.
If your county has contracted IHSS providers, you may choose to have services provided by the contractor."

Did Karen hire you directly? Since she is considered your employer, I assume that means she can't pay you under the table. Has she been taking out the necessary taxes? Or are you a contracted IHSS provider?

Either way, weren't you free to leave? Why have you stayed?

You state you are a "social worker type." So you are a social worker? How on earth did you get yourself into this situation. Even more puzzling is why you can't figure out how to get out of it.

None of this makes sense.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I caught the social worker remark stated in her profile too. The first thing that I thought of was, ‘she’s either a social worker or she isn’t.’

Oh, and she says that the police do nothing about this woman’s behavior. It’s a bizarre story!

You’re right, absolutely none of this makes any sense.
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I’m over 70 and can climb a fence. So yes, it can be done!
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Really? I’m impressed! Any kind of fence? Can you beat someone up too? 😆

It’s a wild story, she beats people up, she climbs fences, walks all over town, etc.

I’m just saying that this story sounds totally crazy to me.

You could be correct about the fence thing though. She could be a super fit 70 plus year old woman but I doubt that the average older woman could do this.
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Well, if when you found her she was homeless and you are the one who found her a cottage and got her on food stamps, why don't you do these things for yourself?
You say you stay with her three days a week.
There's seven days in the week. Where do you stay the other four days? I'd say you should be staying there seven days a week.
Please stop playing the victim here because really, your story sounds ridiculous.
This woman is not keeping you prisoner and you can't leave.
You yourself say that you are only at her place three days a week. Stop going there.
Most likely you will not be getting back your "property" unless you can actually prove that you had these priceless artifacts and that she is the one who stole them.
I'm going to assume that no one in this scenario works for a living and all of you live off of the state and federal government. This would rule out this woman having homeowner's or renter's insurance that you could put in a claim to for your lost property.
I'm going to suggest you grow up and have no contact with this woman for any reason. No more caregiving (if in fact you actually do) and no contact of any kind.
Move on.
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You blurred the lines between professional hired caregiver and trying to be a friend. You also used her. Take your remaining things and leave, never to return. Your next living arrangement is on you, not this lady
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I’m still giggling over her climbing fences! 😆

I remember my oldest brother always climbing out of the window as a teenager. One day, my mom looked at him and said, “Son, why are you climbing out of the window at night to escape instead of just walking through the door?” LOL 😝, my mother caught my brother off guard and I remember thinking that mom had a good point! Why not just walk out of the door? My brother was dumbfounded and didn’t have an answer for my mom.

Why in the world is this woman scaling fences, beating up people, stealing from her caregiver? I am trying to figure out who has the biggest mental health issues, the 70 plus year old woman or the caregiver that has stuck around to endure more craziness?

Geeeeeeeez! If this is true, then it truly is bizarre.
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Fawnby Apr 2023
Need, I sent you a private message.
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This is a weird story. Have you gone to college for Social Work? If not your not a Social Worker. Did you train as a Certified Nurses Aid?

You keep changing ur clients age from 72 to 73 and ur profile says 74. You said you stay with her 3 days a week, where do u go the other 4? I agree, how important are your belongings. Because, as said, get into your car and leave. Its a shame when you stored the stuff at her house you didn't list the items being brought in and have her sign the list. You can prove the cat is yours with Vet records. You should have a list of things from the divorce. Go to the Station, show the police the list and ask for an escort out of the house and that list will prove the items are yours.

If you were able to help her, you should be able to help you.
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You can't walk into a hurricane and not expect winds. This is a mess, but it is a mess you willingly walked into, and one that you stay in.

You are going to need to find a job and permanent housing in order to extricate yourself from this mess I am thinking.
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JoAnn29 Apr 2023
But, where do they go that 4 days
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I can;t make heads or tails out of this!
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Crazy, isn’t it? She’s super elder! 😆 She scales fences, attacks, steals valuable items, etc!

It reads like a nutty movie or a really bad novel. It’s certainly a nightmare! A bad dream that I hope the OP wakes up from.
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