What states pay for a wife to care for her very sick spouse?

What state are you in? Is your spouse on Medicaid? Some states have programs that can pay a family member to provide care at home if the person qualifies for it according to the requirements of the particular program.

If your husband is a Veteran there is the possibility that the VA will pay you to care for him.
A little more information from you would be helpful. Where do you live?

Contact your area agency on aging for resources. Maybe a Medicaid waiver, but only for a few hours weekly and at minimum wage.