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I'm 50 been taking care of my mom all my life no one else helps me not even my daughter she just steals her money and pills not anymore called her sister and had her excommunicated from the house she has been very I'll she's had two heart attacks multiple stents throuought her body blood clots ect major weight loss I feed her but where we live I can't seem to find a Dr that will be thorough most of this has happened since Oct and to top it all off I had total knee replacement having complications some days can't hardly walk may never walk right what's killing me are the e r visits I am a certified pharmacy tech and worked with hospice as a caregiver for my GMA till she passed so I'm not medically stupid but getting very angry think there's some Alzheimer's dementia going on but she HUGELY SEEKING ATTENTION most of the time its nothing not taking her meds when I put them out she takes them selectively and trys to hide them these are her heart pills I've been getting very angry just want to yell sometimes GET UP I actually asked her if she was just laying there waiting to die I know she's putting me on a lot I have a hard enough time walking myself I love her more than life itself I can actually predict when she's all of a sudden after being fine all day telling me first its gas's then no its heartburn when I give her a solution the symptoms change when something's really wrong I know it have no problem calling e my or taking her to e r just took her to another city late the other night 200 miles because she was dying guess what no we just got home today told my ex watch its gunna be fun today she's gunna all of a sudden be really I'll I straight up told her was not taking her to e r not warranted like I said she kept switching symptoms I'm sorry to vent like this never done forums before but sometimes I wonder if she's not trying to kill me first thank u for listening like I said doing this by my lone yes I do counseling but maybe its better to talk to people who are there also

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Get away from her before you become a statistic. Her sole purpose in life is to control every moment of your life. That is abusive and yes it will kill you. Thirty percent of caregivers die before their patients. The next time she has a medical crisis, send 911 to her house and you stay home, you do not drive her anywhere or go to the ER. Tell her to call you when she is in a room.
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Vent on. This is the MOST compassionate site and site mates I have found.
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You sound like you have big heart! It also sounds like you have daughter with problems too. Sometimes no matter how much we love the person, the burden is too much for us to handle. If I were you, I would start looking into assisted living facilities. I put my mother in one and it was far better care than she was getting at home, it was cheaper, and really, really nice. My mom enjoyed it and it made my life100 times better. I wish I did it five years earlier! Take care of yourself...
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My 48 year old daughter just moved in to care for me about 4 months ago and I am loving every minute of it. She waits on me hand and foot and she works part time in a local establishment. I am always checking to see if she is getting enouigh sleep and food and taking care of herself too. I never would have believed that she would come to live with me like this. She said she has made a commitment to stay as long as I need her and those words are like heaven to me. She didn't do it because she needed a place to live. She sold her house and moved half way across the country to be here. Other mothers need to count their blessings and love these children who are sacrificing for them. Make your last years with them warm and wonderful.
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With all due respect to Mallory and Fregflyer, while we all noticed the punctuation errors I believe what flylikethewind was aking for was some sympathy and support and not a scolding. I totally understood the original post, especially because I am in the exact same position. In fact it was like reading my own story. I was anxious to read the comments on how others would deal with such a difficult situation. I know how it feels to be trapped between love for my dear mother who suffers from Alzheimers and the feelings of anger, frustration and even quilt because I don't know if I can take much more sometimes. I have to say I was hurt by the lack of understanding of those who chose to focus on spelling and grammer rather than on the cry for help.

That being said, here are a few things that have helped me. I contacted the agency for aging in my area and have been taking advantage of any program my mother qualifies for. Having a provider come in a few hrs/day has been a life saver. I take that time entirely for myself, (read a book, take a bubble bath, etc...) I have also started to write as a hoppy in tbe evening for an hr or 2 after my mom is settled in bed. I have found that putting my real problems into a fantasy world has helped me to actually deal better with reality and sometimes even find a solution. Prayer also has an amazing calming effect as well as reading the bible. My favorite book is the Psalms, especially Ps.37. I know this is not the avenue that pleases everyone, but it certainly has helped me. Please know flylikethewind that you are not alone and there are others pulling for you. I will definitely have you in my prayers.
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Seriously? Everything she's dealing with with and you're CRITCIZING puntuation? Did you get the part where she says she's nwver done this before? When i 1st got my phone it took me 4 ever to get my fingers across the correct letters. This is supposed to bw supportive.
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As you can see by spelling errors, still don't have a grip on it.
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I could just say "evict her" Sorry you made that promise to your Dad before he died but for yoour future health she has to be got out from under your roof. It won't be easy and she will be viscious. Next time she wants to go to the ER call 911 and have the ambulance take her and refuse to pick her up. It will be hasstle and a struggle and lots of people will not be very nice to you. Does she have money to pay for assisted living? if so find a facility and tell her she is going. you may need your big girl panies and a helmet but you can do it with hubby to back you up. No one deserves this kind of abuse. Drs are very good at patting you on the shoulder and reassuring you it is all part of getting old etc. That's why I carry a big hand bag so i can hit them over the head when I say NO and mean it.
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Veronica, you crack me up! Bless your heart... If we can't laugh and cry at the same time, we'd all go crazy!!!
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I do understand what you are saying, she is acting like she is on deaths door, but oops not really. I think i would tell her that you are no longer able to discern what is real or what is memorex, she needs a professional staff (NH). Your skill set is not up to the task. It is hard to walk away, suppose they die...yea suppose they do. We are all headed to that destination. Does she have one of those medical alert thingies? That way you could just tell her over the phone, push your button.
And i don't understand why any one would want someone to wait on them hand and foot, someone they supposedly love. I would think that IF you loved someone you would want them to have the fullest and happiest life they possibly can have.
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