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I need to hire a third party to talk to my mom about her aging. Her children don’t know how to do it, and she has no trusted doctor, religious leader, friends, or family.


There must be professionals who are skilled in having the discussions that become relevant as you become very old, people who can establish trust quickly and discuss difficult topics.

Call the Area Agency on Aging, a very good place to start. They will come in and do an assessment of mom's care needs. They also have information on all sorts of services and resources available.

You might also want to check with a certified geriatric care manager.
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Reply to gladimhere
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What are you trying to talk to her about? Does she need to downsize and won't. Your seeing some cognitive decline? No matter who u hire will need some background info.

Is one of the problems getting her to a doctor? Because thats the first thing I would do. Get her a good physical.

Call your Office of Aging and see if they have someone who can evaluate Mom. Maybe that person can talk to Mom about what she now needs to do for herself. At least be able to tell you the proper people to see.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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my2cents Aug 3, 2021
Agree - what is it you want someone else to discuss with her.
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I want to add that the BEST professional we got to talk to my mom was a geriatric psychiatrist.

She saw several of them over the 8 years of her decline; they appeared to be the only MDs who got that she was the sum of her brain, her mind AND her body.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Please explain exactly what topics you would like discussed.

I am thinking that she is probably very aware of aging issues and quiet frankly has seen more of it then you or I.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Speak with a doctor or hospital in her area to get a contact number for a social worker. They will have information on planning for future care. The other place to consider is Council on Aging in your area. They will do a ‘needs assessment’ with your mom and you can then plan accordingly.

Is your mom having specific health issues or are you asking a general question in order to be prepared for the future?
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Is your mother demonstrating decline of some sort?

Has she written a will, established a trust, set up POA for financial and health care? And written out a digital diary (all of her log ins and passwords?)

This is what smart people do.

There is a little book called "5 At 55" which outlines all this.

My line to my mom was "you are too smart to do something this stupid".

I didnt say it about getting documents in order, but it did get her to make a smart decision about her healthcare.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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What are you trying to discuss with her?
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Reply to MJ1929
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