I need to hire a third party to talk to my mom about her aging. Her children don’t know how to do it, and she has no trusted doctor, religious leader, friends, or family.
There must be professionals who are skilled in having the discussions that become relevant as you become very old, people who can establish trust quickly and discuss difficult topics.
Has she written a will, established a trust, set up POA for financial and health care? And written out a digital diary (all of her log ins and passwords?)
This is what smart people do.
There is a little book called "5 At 55" which outlines all this.
My line to my mom was "you are too smart to do something this stupid".
I didnt say it about getting documents in order, but it did get her to make a smart decision about her healthcare.
Is your mom having specific health issues or are you asking a general question in order to be prepared for the future?
I am thinking that she is probably very aware of aging issues and quiet frankly has seen more of it then you or I.
She saw several of them over the 8 years of her decline; they appeared to be the only MDs who got that she was the sum of her brain, her mind AND her body.
Is one of the problems getting her to a doctor? Because thats the first thing I would do. Get her a good physical.
Call your Office of Aging and see if they have someone who can evaluate Mom. Maybe that person can talk to Mom about what she now needs to do for herself. At least be able to tell you the proper people to see.
You might also want to check with a certified geriatric care manager.