What is the long term impact of respite care for Alzheimer’s patients?

This is such an individual thing, that the experience of others will mean little to you. My own friend has to put his long term companion in respite often while he flies to another country to be with his Mom. His companion thrives in the place. Others are very unhappy. I would think that long term affects on one who has dementia that is a bit advanced would not be bad, but the affects at the time of being in respite might be dramatic. I think you should understand that you do need this time, and that you should take this time, and hope for the best outcome. Not everything can be predicted and this is one of those things for certain. Wishing you all the best.

I don't have direct experience with respite care; my mom was in a NH after a stroke and broken hip. None of us had the capacity to provide in home care for her.

There came a point where I realized that there were no good choices when it came to my mom's care; there was only the "least bad choice". It was a balancing act of maintaining our mental and physical health, her mental and physical health, finances and other intangibles.

You cannot care for a dementia patient 24/7 with no respite without burning out and perhaps dying. You need breaks. Mom needs consistent care and reliable care. These needs must be balanced.

No one is going to look out for YOUR health except for you.

I believe that the long term impact that it may have on your mom, will pale in comparison to the great rewards it will bring you and your family as you get away to enjoy each other, and rejuvenate your souls, without having to worry about mom.
You need this vacation if you're going to continue on this journey with your mom, so trust that she will be fine, and go enjoy yourself and your family. Your mom would want you to, if she was in her right mind. So don't give this another thought, and just go have fun. You deserve it.

Give it a try. You may find your mother is so comfortable in the Memory Care ALF that you can move her in there permanently.

Your mother's life is not the only one that's important here. You have a husband and two children who also matter even more, not to mention yourself. You all deserve a break from the full time caregiving of an Alzheimer's patient, that's for sure. Your mother is confused now, and she'll be confused later, whether she's in a room at MC or a room in your home. That's the nature of ALZ and it doesn't get better based on what you do or do not do.

My mother is 94+ and lives in Memory Care full time. She has good days and bad days with her moderately advanced dementia. Sometimes she's lucid, pretty much, while other times she's dressing up to ride the bus to visit her father in NYC who's been dead since 1942. There are days she insists the MC is her hotel and other days where 'they're taking her across the street to a new hotel which looks exactly like her old hotel' for the night. Your mother may move into the MC and think it's a lovely hotel room as well.

Who knows? What I do know is that you and your family will have a great vacation while your mother is well cared for and safe in the MC.

Have fun!

Thanks for your comments everyone! I really appreciate it. I’m going to make a trade off and join my family for 4 days and come back 3 days early. I feel comfortable with this amount of time.

I really think. you should consider taking the whole time with your family. If your mother is in respite for 4 days, 3 more days won't matter that much to here and it might mean the world to your own kids. If your mother has some increased issues with confusion, that is going to happen anyway and the staff will deal with it. You are worrying too much about the impact on your mother and not enough about the impact of her dementia on you and your own family.

Take the entire week, you deserve it.

My mom was in respite for a week while I went to the mountains for a break. I went horse riding, fly fishing and just explored. It was wonderful! My mom was in about the same stage yours is.

And there was no long term impact on mom, no noticeable decline. The timing was great. A new roof was put on during that week. Had mom been home that would have been a nightmare.

Do you need a roof replacement or other major maintenance job done? This would be a great time to do it.

Eventually Mom was placed first in a memory care facility, then a smaller care home which worked great for her. Don't be afraid to let go, let someone else helping her for just a short period of time. She will be fine and will have no memory of it within a couple hours of going back home. If mom has done well consider that this may be the best place for mom and your family. Give it a chance.

It is wonderful that you found a small facility to care for your mom. You can write down her routine and talk to the facility. My mom had much more consistent care with her facility and she loved the treatment. She is very nice to everyone and feels more independent. I found that my sister and I jumped in quickly to help mom and that was not helpful to her. She will not get better but we were not helping by doing things for her before she had a chance to do it. I was pleasantly surprised that she gets up for breakfast. (I put an Alexa in her room and set reminders to help her but she still has to do it.). I know how long it takes her to get ready so I have 3 reminders. I start with “wake up, wake up, Breakfast in 30 minutes. Comb hair”. I also found when I set it up, I told Alexa to speak slower. That works great. I have a last reminder that says “breakfast is being served. Comb hair and go.” The staff are wonderful. From what I read, getting mom established in a routine in a facility while she can still remember some things is important. I agree. I visit mom and ask her to show me around and she does….and she is accurate. She doesn’t remember her tablemates names but she likes to eat with them everyday. I now get to be mostly just her daughter instead of her primary caregiver. I didn’t expect this but it is a blessing to be able to see her do well in her “home”. I got a Alexa show 8 and drop in on her once a day and she can tell it to call me if she wants. It started as respite care but the success made it a win/win for all of us.

My two cents:
4 days is effectively 2 days if there’s travel involved- that is not enough time to decompress on a family vacation, especially as you will also have some stress with getting mom over to respite care. Was this was pre-dementia mom’s vision for you—Not taking a short vacation to build memories with your own family because you’re worried about her?
You’ve found a nice place that will be able to provide for your mom safely. She may be a little confused. She’ll probably forget that, though. Chances are that she will probably be able to slip back into her routine when she’s back home, but perhaps she’ll need you to make sure she’s got her routine down pat at first. You won’t know until you do it, and the difference between 4 and 7 days is likely to be negligible.
👍good luck!

This thought scared the ever loving bejesus out of me when I planned a trip.
I placed my Husband in the same Memory Care facility that I took him for Day Care. So he "knew" the people and the area he would be in.
I was going to be gone for 3 weeks. First vacation I took in 10 years!
I was scared he would be so "institutionalized" that I would not be able to bring him home.
The day I went to pick him up, he looked up at me, smiled and chuckled a bit. I got him into the car. As soon as I got him home and helped him out of the car he walked right up the ramp, into the house and sat down in his recliner and picked up the juice I had left on the table for him. It was like he had been gone hours not weeks!.
That was him.
Your situation might end up different.
There is no "one size fits all" with dementia.
Bottom line is.....
You need a vacation, you and the family deserve a vacation.
You might want to take a bit of time while on vacation to think about the "what if's" . If mom does decline would you consider keeping her placed in the Memory Care home? Even if she does not decline is that an option?
do expect that when you bring her home that she will be confused. Once she gets used to her room at MC that will be "her place, her home"

I would also tell the management that unless it is a true emergency not to contact you. I got a call from my sister, she was the contact person that the facility called, said my Husband had an infection that needed to be treated. I gave her permission to tell them to do so. Only to get back and look at the bill and I/he was charged over $100 for a doctor visit and medication for ATHLETES FOOT! (needless to say I was a basket case after the call then irate when I got back)

The Best thing to do is let her stay in your home what she is use to.

Hire a Live In Sitter for the week.

I would also have Nest Cameras installed in the rooms where your mom would be so you can watch and see how she's doing anytime, 24 7. I have them at my 97 yr Olds Dad's house so I can keep an eye on him and his Caregivers.

Prayers

I think you’re right to be worried about moving your mother …
it would make her anxious fearful
and it would be big decline for her…
imho
you should get her help in her home
hopefully for couple days before you go … so she can transition more comfortably but moving her I think traumatic

She will not have a huge change in her dementia progress. She may be a bit confused and anxious in the new place, but not so much to create problems for herself or the home.

Respite is very important for you and your family. All of you need time to "recharge" and reconnect. Do not cancel the trip.

Hopefully all goes well so you can take more breaks! I had to choose my family over my mom. She is in MC and doing well now. I visit her and take her out on outings all through the week. You only get your kids one time around too. Best wishes and enjoy your vacation!!

My son confronted me this morning about having a "Plan B" in place in case something happens to me. My husband has dementia. My children think I should put him in a memory care facility for a weekend for respite care and to get him used to being away from me for a few days. We have long-term insurance so finances are not a problem. I have someone from an agency come twice a week for four hours to give me a break. I know my children are right, but I feel guilty "letting go." Not sure if I should have someone come and stay in our home for the weekend or place him in a memory care facility. I have visited three local places and they were all wonderful. I'm afraid that being away from his usual routine would have a negative impact. Having this forum has helped me a great deal in reading the problems others have and advice given.

First of all, this is a bad stage for Alzheimers and nothing can be done to lessen her feelings of confusion. I think this level of care is NOT sufficient - I would put her into a formal facility where she is cared for and protected. Go on your vacation - think of you and the family. She will be confused no matter where she is.

I would not worry. She will be ok after a day or two and will be cared for. It is important that family gets time away.

AlzDaughter: I did see your update, wherein you state that you will be coming back a few days early.