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I do everything from the laundry to the bathing to the grocery shopping, doctors appointments, pick up the medicine, and give her her medicine, make all three meals plus snacks, take her anywhere she needs to go. I’ll take care of her bills, everything.

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AmyJo, if MIL doesn’t qualify for any assistance, then she is probably quite well off. She can go to AL, and pay for it herself (Assisted Living is not normally subsidised, everyone pays anyway).

You have probably learned some skills as well as some useful life experience. That’s done and dusted, and there is no need to continue ‘learning’. It will get worse, not better. It’s time for a new plan, with her and with BF. They should have learned the lessons too by now.

If they don’t agree to a big big change, then you really are being exploited. You should be more than ‘a little resentful’, and you should be making your own new plan. It can be hard emotionally to quit relationships, but if they won’t change, this is a very bad sign for the future of either relationship.
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My ILs pay about $170k for 24/7 (two people, plus their weekly housekeepers and gardeners).
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Call agencies in your area and ask what they are paying caregivers. Ask what their hourly rate is for a caregiver. This should give you an idea for your area.
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In NY cost for my LO is around 235k a year across two caregivers,
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Amyjo73 Feb 2022
What is an LO?
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