What if your spouse won't wash hands or socially distance during Coronavirus?

Very surprised that the delivery person was not masked. Do you have some type of alarm to notify you when the door is opened? Maybe post a sign stating that anyone entering must wear one. Try having a joint hand wash before and after meals. If you are out in the neighborhood ask if you can hold hands or take his arm when walking. This way if someone approaches you can gently hold him back.

Our delivery man always wears a mask and keeps his distance. I would insist delivery man wear a mask or call the company and ask for someone else. As far as your husband not washing his hands, I would give him a sanitizer wipe or give him a wet washcloth with soap and then a dry one. This works well for my mother.

Is your husband staying inside in isolation lock-down? If he is, then hand-washing is not totally important as he has already been exposed to everything in the house. The concerns are with outside contacts. Yes, the delivery man, but also you. Thorough hand-washing with soap is more effective than hand cleanser, and if you go out shopping, you should be washing before you touch anything inside. Perhaps even have a bowl of water and some soap outside the front door. Just this step might be effective and less stressful than the worries you have now. Best wishes, Margaret

I think it's unhealthier to live in constant terror than it is to actually get the virus. While I understand that you don't want either one of you to contract Covid19, and I don't want DH or myself to contract it either, it's more headache and stress to continually worry about it than it is to relax a bit and let God handle things, you know? Like Margaret said, if you're not really going out to crowded places, then hand washing is not as big a deal as it would be if you were going out. If you're staying home most of the time, then you're probably pretty safe.........that's how I'd look at it.

I think EllensOnly has a good idea about posting a sign on your door to delivery people to either leave the package on the stoop or wear a mask if they are going to ring the bell & interact with you. I hired a house painter in early June and told him he'd have to wear a mask upon entering my home (he was painting the exterior). He was actually making fun of me! He's 68 but a big blow-hard full of stories and political opinions which I told him I was NOT interested in hearing. "If you'd like the job, then you'll wear a mask when entering my home please." So guess what? He did. Each time. And he shut up about telling my his political opinions, too!

I think Earlybird's idea of hand sanitizer is a good one, too. Put a dollop in your hand and then grab hubby's hand in a romantic gesture. Snicker. Kill two birds with one stone, as they say! LOL

Try not to worry too much. 1 in 300 people actually contract the virus and it's probably less than that right now that the cases have dwindled. And out of the 1 in 300 that do contract it, only a few will get seriously ill and require ICU hospitalization. Arm yourself with facts instead of fear and live your lives, the two of you.

Best of luck!

I live in NY - I know 3 people who have died (one was 38 with 3 children), one very athletic man who now has permanent organ damage, and several young doctors and nurses working the hot zone (one in Elmhurst hospital, the one with the refrigerator trucks outside for all the bodies). This virus is extremely contagious and you absolutely have a right to insist that people respect your concerns. Put a large sign outside your property stating an medically compromised individual lives there and all individuals must wear masks. Have a supply of masks at your front door in case someone comes by without one. Admittedly, it'll be tough getting your spouse to cooperate, but I agree that it's your health that's paramount - if you fall sick to this, who will care for him? Caring for loved ones with dementia is stressful enough without this deadly virus. Call the Alzheimer's Association for support: 800-272-3900 (I'm a former caregiver and an Alzheimer's national ambassador, we have trained social workers on call 24/7 for you who can give you expert advice on how to deal with your concerns). Stay safe.

Your concerns are perfectly legitimate- COVID19 is no joke. This virus got me, my grandmother and my grandfather. My grandfather passed away from secondary infection of pneumonia. Grandma is perfectly fine, thank God, but I had lung damage and have to occasionally use an inhaler. My breathing is improving, but still not what it once was.

While it is understandable for you to be concerned, at the same time, do not let fear rule your life. Take precautions as best you can. It sounds like you are mostly staying isolated in your own home, which is good because crowds are the issue where it spreads the most. So avoid crowds as much as possible, keep bottles of hand sanitizer handy and if you do go out in public, wear the mask. Make that a golden rule- it's either you wear the mask or you don't go, period. I'm actually baffled that the delivery person wasn't wearing a mask- thought was the law that you work, you have to wear a mask. Maybe it's only in NY???

As for keeping sane during this unprecedented time, do what you can at home to have some fun. I would recommend stuff like gardening, reading, coloring, crafting, listening to music, watching a good movie, learn a new recipe, etc. I just bought myself a compact elliptical machine and those endorphins are saving my sanity. Yoga is great, btw, for busting stress. And you can do chair yoga- no complicated moves, nothing on the floor. Just in a chair, gently stretching. "Yoga With Adrienne" on YouTube does a great "Yoga at your desk" video that's easy and can be done anywhere.

Best of luck to you, and hang in there- it will all be okay! Just take it one day at a time.

I feel your pain and fear. I'm going through something similar, except the nuts I'm dealing with don't have dementia. They come in all ages.

You have to look out for yourself. It's really serious and anyone could die from it. I'd seek a legal consult from a Elder law/divorce attorney. You can consult by phone or facetime. I'd get information on your rights and obligations as a wife and/or POA, if you have that. Can you have DH placed in a LTC facility? Is he competent? Is there some where else you can live? Keeping his behavior to a safe level may not be feasible. I'd try to find safety for myself.