I have recently moved closer to my mother. Unfortunately I have come to find she is an animal hoarder. Only 2 dogs, but I have no idea how many cats. I would say at least 20 inside and countless strays she feeds outside. The problem is her home reeks of ammonia, to the point you have to gasp for air when you walk in. My mom doesn't see a problem and doesn't want to hear any dissenting opinions. She has started having high blood pressure and is on new medicine for it. All of the sudden she is very confused and hallucinating. I am going to visit tomorrow and will take her to the emergency room, but if nothing is done I need to call social services because she needs help and I can't let her and the animals live the way they are. It is beyond terrible to say the least. My problem is what happens if I call social services? Also if she has any inkling I was involved she would stop talking to me and I am the only one close enough and able to help her. I strongly suspect she will not be able to continue living where she is, which means she would need to move in with me. Impossible if she won't talk to me. Any advice would be appreciated I feel sick just contemplating what needs to be done! Needless to say I love her very much!
It may be lying but it's for yours and her benefit.
This is the kind of hard task that caregivers face - but it's necessary for her health before it gets worse, especially from the ammonia odors.
Once she gets better and wants to blame you for that, tell her in no uncertain terms: (excuse me while I curse a bit here) " Mom! You're d@mn straight I did , and I would do anything to help you again".
P.S. Your fears are understandable, but your projected conclusions have no basis in reality.
If you had taken her to E.R., they would have referred her to a neurologist by now.
A follow-up with urgent care is going to be of no value to your Mother's health, but I am hoping you prove me wrong.
It is perfectly okay if you think you can intervene privately, clean up her house, limit the cats-and still come away with her speaking to you or thanking you.
I am hoping for other caregivers to come alongside and walk you through this. You will need help and support.
How is she after the visit to urgent care? What was her attitude, did they diagnose her, medicate her?
From what I have read, hallucinations can be very late onset schizophrenia, psychotic depression, or dementia with Lewy bodies. They can occur with AD, too. They can be side effects of medication and probably a consequence of malnutrition or social isolation.
Myself, if I ran races, I would be a sprint runner, an all-or-nothing type of person, so my house would have to be cleaned out in a day. But now, even though I am trying really hard, I have to be satisfied with a slower pace, and an unfinished mess. Still, it is getting better, and my husband balks, even sabotages my efforts when I want to get everything done at once.
Remember the fairytale of the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race?
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