Follow
Share

She had to call again tonight to see what her further instructions were and she is to show up at court with ID and cell phone. She couldn't remember what time and do I want to call and listen? She said I'm not going.


We've been having a couple of hell days and now she is saying will I bring her cigarettes in jail. She doesn't smoke and she was making a joke.


It might be funny but she is acting like it's my responsibility for her lack of doing what the law requires. No, I don't think so.


They sent her that letter weeks ago and it gave instructions on what to do if she wasn't able to be there. But she put it aside and said oh this has happened before-they usually don't have you come down there. Well, now they are and I told her she should go. She can drive, she knows where the court house is. That sounds cold and like I'm being a bitch. But for what it's worth-she also blamed me for the govt decreasing her social security amount. wow. She jumped my shite when she realized that happened and even after she talked with a nice lady at ssi.


Counting down the days to moving time.


She is giving me a fit about getting what she wants and read that again. She is giving me a hard time for getting what she wants-to be back in her apartment.


on a different topic I cried my eyes out today at my therapist. Told her I didn't know if I could hold out for six weeks and she says-'you've come this far' and yes. Yes I have. And I'm ruined for it, too.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
What will happen? Nothing. Yes they make it all sound like they will hunt you down like you are America's most wanted. But in the end, the laws regarding jury duty are rarely, if ever enforced. It's not like there is a shortage of potential jurors. Every time I've gone, 95% of us just waste a couple of hours of our morning and then get sent on our way. I don't know why the so oversubscribe the jury pool.

Regardless, at her age she can easily get a waiver.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

On a side note, RBuser1, to help you focus on how to get through this six-week ordeal, have you imagined how it will be for you when she's gone?

I recommend asking yourself, "What the first thing I'll do when I'm free?" "Will I jump out of bed in the mornings or roll over?" "How often will I eat out?" "How will I rearrange my furniture to what I want?"

Rather than focus on the torment you're in now, focus on resetting your mind and emotions for your upcoming peace. *hug*
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Isthisrealyreal Dec 5, 2019
Great idea! Create hope.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
update: she called the court and told them she was 81 and crippled. And asked them how she could get out of this mess?
This is after she received a call from her exs niece in Canada and he has passed away. This also is the ex that coined me 'the boss' several years ago and they laughed and made fun of me in front of and behind my back.
I feel bad for his Newfie family and friends but mercifully he is out of pain and hopefully onto a better place. I don't know what his beliefs were.
I do know this. She is giving me the cold, icy treatment today. Hard to feel sorry for her about any of it. She will soon be taking out her sorrow on me.
But back to subject of jail. Whoever she talked to from the court gave her instructions on how to get off the list and she was talking clearly and coherently to them.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Isthisrealyreal Dec 5, 2019
Darn, missed opportunity for a break!😎
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
Yes. You say she can drive? Of course she should go. You are almost never chosen. If you are chosen they almost always let you off when the case settles last minute. And of course the best excuse is the --when interviewed say "I have IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome; I often have to leave emergently to go to the bathroom, especially if I feel myself confined and unable to go. If you can put up with my exiting frequently I would LOVE to serve". Trust me. This one works EVERY SINGLE TIME. I know, because for years I had IBS. You also don't have to serve it you are over a certain age. I think it might be 70. But that would require sending in the letter (and nothing else). Mom didn't act in her own best interests so now she will have to play it as it lays. I just can't WAIT for the update!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
worriedinCali Dec 5, 2019
actually in California there is no age of exemption for jury duty but if you are over 79, you can be excused for medical reasons without a doctors note ;)
(3)
Report
I had jury duty a couple of weeks ago and the judge who swore us all in said only 18%(!) of people summoned actually appear. I feel quite sure they can't chase them all down.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Don't know how old your Mom is, or if she has medical/mobility issues that would make jury duty a hardship ... but ... here in California, if you're over a certain age (don't remember if that's 80 or 85), one can be automatically exempted if one wishes. They DO need to notify the Court to request any exemptions. Phone call (or maybe online) should suffice.

Accepted exemptions should be listed on the original jury notice, along with their contact info - if you can (or want to) get hold of said notice. They should also be listed on the court system's website.

If no exemptions apply to her, and she refuses to communicate with the Court ... well ... that's on HER.

NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. ((((Hugs))))
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you all for helping past another difficult time. I'll let you know how it goes. Have a good night.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

RB, let em take her and keep her.

Then you can change your number and be free of her abuse.

You can do this, I know 6 weeks seems like a life sentence, but you can do this.

Great big hug and strength to you. 🤗
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Where I live I think they may pay $10 a day. At one time it was $5. Just about pays for lunch and gas and if u have to pay for parking. Being a caregiver of a child or adult gets u off where I live.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

How old is she? In NJ if 75 or older u don't have to serve. Did she fill out the form to send back, if not surprised they called her. Where I live, they don't have the manpower to follow up on who returned forms. Does she have any cognitive decline. She could get out of it for that. Is she hard of hearing, another excuse. My DH is extremely hard of hearing and he keeps saying he wants to go to be able to say "can u repeat that."

I wouldn't worry about it. If they haven't picked her as a Juror, they will have enough people to fill the spots.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Rbuser1 Dec 4, 2019
She just turned 81, and no she didn't fill out the form. Cognitive decline? I would say so, but she sure can show boat so they may not see it. Hard of hearing-more like selective. It's all relative.
that's funny tho about your DH 'can you repeat that' reminds me of a Matlock episode. hahaha
(0)
Report
It’s odd how they make selections. I know someone who has a son with severe autism and wasn’t excused. They told her to get a sitter. So she went to her psychiatrist and he wrote a note saying she should not serve due to her bipolar disorder. They let her off then.

A very long time ago I was asked to serve and I told my boss that I would try to get out of it if he didn’t want me to miss work. He told me to go because it was my civic duty. My company paid me even though I missed a week of work.

I was not selected and thought I was done and then they chose a random juror for the substitute and I got picked. So I had to show up daily like everyone else.

Another time I showed up. Told them I wouldn’t be picked because of having a brother in law enforcement for many years. I asked if I could be excused. The woman told me that I would not be excused. She said one lawyer would love me and the other lawyer would hate me and they would fight it out.

Sure enough, they asked the question, “Does anyone have relatives in law enforcement?” I raised my hand and said yes. The lawyer asked if that would sway my decision on the way I voted. I told them no. They fought it out. The person who did not want me won. So as I suspected I did not serve. It was a criminal case.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

So much drama...hang in there...wishing you peace in your heart!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Rbuser1 Dec 4, 2019
Thank you Geaton777.
(0)
Report
She should be interested in going. She'll get out of the house and have something to do. As an added bonus, some cases are interesting.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Riverdale Dec 4, 2019
They really are and there is some pay involved.
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
If she can prove any health issues she could possibly be excused. That worked for me when I really did have a health issue. I also was dealing with my mother entering AL.

I lived in NY but not in the city and I was being summoned to the court in the city which was a long trip. Some years earlier I did serve in a much closer area and actually enjoyed it. Or you could tell her to move to another state!! That way it will take awhile for her to be found to serve there and harder for you to visit a jail.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Rbuser1 Dec 4, 2019
Hhaha I have to wait and see what she does in the morning. Each day is a surprise. I'll be waiting for her call. :)
(0)
Report
Well, I guess SHE will find out what happens when a person is a no-show for jury duty, huh? :) Here's what Google says: if you don't show up for jury duty without the court's permission, you could find yourself in trouble with the court. The court may issue an “Order to Show Cause” which is a judicial order for you to explain your absence. In extreme cases, the court may issue a bench warrant for your arrest.

But, it depends on what STATE you are in, so you can Google it and find out.

Your therapist is right........there's a glorious end in sight now, so you CAN hold out for six short little weeks, which is nothing in the scheme of things. Get a calendar and use a big fat black magic marker to X out each day that brings you one day closer to her moving OUT!

Yay!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

She won’t be arrested. If she has to show up and she doesn’t, they will send her a notice saying she missed jury duty and they’ll assign her a new date. It’s no longer the serious offense it was when our parents were young. I have to go on the 17th myself and may just skip out. They’ll just reschedule me. No biggie!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Rbuser1 Dec 4, 2019
I figured as much but she loves the drama and likes to keep it going. 'will you come see me in jail' to get a reaction.
Some things and people can't be fixed.
(4)
Report
See 3 more replies
She could get arrested but probably won't.

I encourage you to not worry about this and to continue to let your mom deal with it however she wants. If she gets arrested, that's her problem.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter