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Who are you caring for?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My wife was diagnosed 4 years ago with dementia. We have no children and no family close by. How do people handle this situation? Thanks for any advice.
What is your current living situation, are you caring for her at home? Do you have reason to think she might outlive you, or are you just wisely thinking ahead? One option I can think of for you is moving together into a senior community that offers multiple levels of care. If you have no care needs and are handling her care ok you can pick the lowest level of care but have the option to upgrade as one or both of you needs more help.
If you have an attorney talk with them about setting up a guardian for your wife in the event that you’re temporarily or permanently unable to make decisions for her care. You may be able to pick a care community preference for her.
If you have investments talk to your financial planner about setting up a paid fiduciary to handle your wife’s finances if you cannot. I’m sure other people will have some ideas. It’s smart to plan ahead.
Consider moving to a community that offers both assisted living and memory care. Your wife can stay with you in AL and move to MC when needed, or you may want to start that way.
See an Elder Law attorney and a financial planner to ensure that both of your financial needs are taken care of, both now and whenever the first one of you passes away.
I'm sorry you are in this position. This might be a good time to consult an attorney regarding the trust. I assume, with no children, you and your wife are the only listed trustees. Her dementia may make you the sole manager of the trust. If you and your wife did not previously name someone as POA, or did not have a secondary POA, if one of you should not be able to perform that function, then now would be a good time to put that in place. If you died before your wife, then she would be best suited for a memory care or skilled nursing facility. Name someone as her medical POA who can make that happen, and detail the instructions for her care. If you feel you can no longer be her only care provider, there is no shame in finding a good care home for her which can meet her needs.
When you say "a Living Trust and all that," that's good, but too many people don't understand the details of how these operate. So adding to my advice below, when you see an attorney and a financial advisor, you don't necessarily need to make changes, but you do need to understand what will happen under various scenarios, such as your wife passing away first, you passing away first, you developing dementia also and therefor not being competent, etc. Not pleasant but have a firm grip on what may, can, or will happen can give you peace of mind.
I think this question brings up some important questions. If you have no family, can you hire someone to do the things a family member would? Like handling your affairs, overseeing your care and responsibility, handling your finances to cover your expenses and for your benefit and your home. Yes, this person would be paid but who do you hire? Someone who has a living adult child might want to hire this to help them manage an elderly parent. Yes, some funds exist. Looking for the way to outsource the hassles and oversight and just be the daughter who visits. And lives her own life. And also looking ahead to who will manage this for me? No family to rely on. I would like to establish an ongoing relationship with a paid fiduciary or legal professional. But what if something happens to this person? Many years to go. Do I Need a legal firm and a contract for ongoing relationship and care? Some contract that is binding and sets up oversight and responsibility for me and my care until I die that I can set up well in advance. Basically, I am looking to pay for a reliable person to advocate for me and oversee my estate and care. Does this exist?
If you have a trust, then who are the designated trustees? Just you and your wife? You need to look into a fiduciary to manage your finances and a Geriatric Care manager for your medical decisions.
If you are planning to age in place (in your home) I suggest you consider not doing that if you have no family to check on you. Think about moving in to a continuum of care community where there are levels of care that you can easily move into and there are plenty of people and staff to keep an eye on you. Aging in your home can be very isolating.
You are asking important questions and have received excellent suggestions. I would only add a few ideas. There is a geriatric care management service in my area and they can arrange social workers and/or nurses who will call and/ or visit to check in on whatever schedule you desire (once a week, once a day, etc). So, let’s say you get a bad case of flu or fall and break your ankle and can’t tend to your wife or even get to the phone. This service will find out at their next scheduled contact and put in place whatever pre-arranged emergency measures, such as call an ambulance for you and stay with your wife at home or arrange a place for her to go where she is safe.
If that service does not exist in your area, perhaps you could pay a neighbor or neighbors to check in once per day and at least call 911 if need be?
You can also post emergency directives somewhere such as near a door or the refrigerator, listing your names, health conditions, medications, Medicare numbers, and directives such as DNR.
I think there might be phone apps where you log in to say “things are still OK” once a day and if you fail to do so, an agreed emergency plan is then activated.
When I was caring for my Husband I had my Will and all the paperwork done and I had a "Special Needs Trust" done. That would have taken care of him with my assets. Now I am sure he would have been place in a facility as there really would have been no one that could have taken him into their home. If you do a Special Needs Trust you can probably indicate where and how your wife is to be cared for. In the home with full time caregivers or in a facility you chose. I suggest you talk to your Attorney and see what he/she suggests you do and how to word any Trust.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you have an attorney talk with them about setting up a guardian for your wife in the event that you’re temporarily or permanently unable to make decisions for her care. You may be able to pick a care community preference for her.
If you have investments talk to your financial planner about setting up a paid fiduciary to handle your wife’s finances if you cannot. I’m sure other people will have some ideas. It’s smart to plan ahead.
See an Elder Law attorney and a financial planner to ensure that both of your financial needs are taken care of, both now and whenever the first one of you passes away.
This might be a good time to consult an attorney regarding the trust. I assume, with no children, you and your wife are the only listed trustees.
Her dementia may make you the sole manager of the trust.
If you and your wife did not previously name someone as POA, or did not have a secondary POA, if one of you should not be able to perform that function, then now would be a good time to put that in place. If you died before your wife, then she would be best suited for a memory care or skilled nursing facility. Name someone as her medical POA who can make that happen, and detail the instructions for her care.
If you feel you can no longer be her only care provider, there is no shame in finding a good care home for her which can meet her needs.
If you are planning to age in place (in your home) I suggest you consider not doing that if you have no family to check on you. Think about moving in to a continuum of care community where there are levels of care that you can easily move into and there are plenty of people and staff to keep an eye on you. Aging in your home can be very isolating.
If that service does not exist in your area, perhaps you could pay a neighbor or neighbors to check in once per day and at least call 911 if need be?
You can also post emergency directives somewhere such as near a door or the refrigerator, listing your names, health conditions, medications, Medicare numbers, and directives such as DNR.
I think there might be phone apps where you log in to say “things are still OK” once a day and if you fail to do so, an agreed emergency plan is then activated.
If you do a Special Needs Trust you can probably indicate where and how your wife is to be cared for. In the home with full time caregivers or in a facility you chose.
I suggest you talk to your Attorney and see what he/she suggests you do and how to word any Trust.