What financial information to provide to siblings?

Maybe you need competent legal assistance. Find out what is ok in your state and go from there.

Recall to your siblings and their apparent bad memory that you did provide financial paperwork to them. This is appalling that they're now wanting more information when they never cared to be involved in your mother's care! Although I hate to say it, perhaps you'd best arm yourself with an elder law attorney.

Pepper1, I've only just seen Isthis's direction to your question about back taxes - oh yikes.

Recalling my mother's filing "system" I have every sympathy with papers coming to light in horrifying ways; but even so, can you explain having overlooked her tax situation altogether? I'm surprised that this task was never drawn to your attention by anyone, and that you haven't received reminders or demands from the tax authorities, in six years. What's gone on?

I wonder: have you been dealing with the bulk of her taxes as normal routine, but this is another area that you've only just become aware of, or something like that?

Pepper I am still trying hard to sympathise, and I fully agree that the only way to go from here is onwards, by tackling this now. But even if not to us, you are going to have some explaining to do. Do you have anyone to help you get everything sorted out?

Pepper, you can not honestly believe that he owes her for living in her house when he had no choice, 2 years old and you are holding him accountable for his moms and grandma's decision to have them live there. He has been doing it for 7 years. Let's see, you were cared for by this woman for 16 to 18 years, maybe longer, free of charge, when do you go take care of her, I mean it is the least you can do for living in her house free of charge from birth.

You can not say that someone that has been declared incompetent only needs to have someone give them meds and feed them with a straight face, can you? If that is true, how did you get guardianship? Is this young man even competent himself?

You have obviously NEVER given one day of care or you would be paying him for his care of your mom.

I can not even believe that you would say that he owes her because as a baby she gave him a home.

You are lucky you are not my sibling, you would not be able to exploit my nephew in this sick and twisted reality of yours.

Great question - Great answers - Great discussion....I have been there and am still in similar BS situation.....my parents have passed so I'm no longer caregiver/POA dealing with non visiting non helping siblings.....but as I was told 2 wks before my mom passed (oct 2017) - if u think ur siblings are bad now, imagine what they will be like when your mom (the glue) is gone - I said r u fing kidding me! how could it get any worse....well it did get worse - pretty sure the guy knocking/ringing doorbell last nite came to serve me papers - as siblings are fing idiots.....I digress, sorry :) .....so my BEST IMMEDIATE ADVICE - don't give them anything - hire estate planning attorney - the laws on this are primarily state laws and it can be very diff state to state - but you have fiduciary responsibility - so let the attorney tell you what to do. And if possible also hire an elder care social worker/counselor to help with reviewing care and other aspects - they are great for referring you to experts in all areas - they represent your parent and were very helpful for me - also get a tax person - even if just HR block. These expenses should be able to all be paid out of parents $$ as they are helping/representing your parent - confirm that with attny. These experts can both advise and also help give you some peace of mind in doing your difficult job. GOOD LUCK!