What do you do when your parent does not want a funeral, obituary, or celebration of life? I feel like I’m really going to need closure.

Funerals are not for the dead. They're for the living. Some part of the estate must be dedicated to deal with the dispensation of bodies. There is nothing wrong with inviting others once that occurs.

I think you do something small & intimate for YOUR sake, in your mother's honor, b/c funerals & such are for the living, not the dead. You don't have to do some big funeral or large gathering, but something small & intimate that you arrange to suit YOU. When my brother in law died not long ago, he was cremated. Several months later, we drove his ashes up to the mountains and spread them around the grounds of a family member's acreage. We each said something fond that we remembered about him, and then ordered Jersey Mike's sub sandwiches. So it wasn't a 'funeral' or a 'celebration of life', nor did we post an obituary for him, but we did what WE wanted to do in honor of his memory.

Best of luck

She is donating her body to the University.

You do what feels right for you. She'll never know.

Wakes, funerals, memorial services... they're not for the person who died. They're for the people they left behind.
If your parent says they don't want anything, don't discuss it with them further. When they do pass, it will be up to you to honor them in whatever way you and your family see fit. If that's a wake, or funeral, church service, or even just a get together then that's what you should do.

It was impossible to get my mother to commit to anything as far as a funeral, obiturary or even creamation or burial. Just before she died, my sister and I decided on cremation. Then a few months later had a great memorial service-great in that the luncheon had so many of her friends there, excellent food, we really enjoyed our selves. The common refrain was "the only thing missing from this party is your mother-she would have loved it." Put obits in a couple of different papers, just so that folks knew of her passing-no statement of cause of death other than donations to the American Cancer Society would be appreciated. Pretty much the same thing when my first husband died. I've been to a lot of funerals, and it's nice to not have a religious service, just keep it simple, some food and friends.
Closure is talking about the person, how they've been a part of your life, what you'll miss/not miss about them and to voice you feelings about all that has happened.

My husband wants a full-on Catholic service with rosary, funeral the next day, and who knows what else -- for me. That's hilarious, because I'm not Catholic and I doubt any priest would do that. Nevertheless, that's what will bring him comfort, so whatever version of that he feels he needs to do to bring himself comfort is OK with me.

I'm an atheist, so if I outlive him, things might be done differently at his service. I'll have a nice memorial gathering, and say my goodbyes in the way that'll bring me and my kids comfort. Much as I love him, I won't be dropping $30,000+ on a funeral full of rituals that bring me no solace. We'll ooth end up in the same place in the end.

Do what works for you, and that obituary is important for history. Some great-grandchild might want to know about her someday, and they should be able to find a mention of her.

Since she's donating her body to a university, why don't you just have a big party with family and friends after she's gone? That way you'll be honoring her wishes by not having a funeral, obituary or celebration of life. It will just be a party in her honor. That way you can get the closure you feel you may need.

I personally don't want a funeral either as it is so ridiculously expensive(as are obituaries, so not sure I need one of those either)and really quite a racket. I'm going to have my ashes scattered down a waterfall, and if my children and grandchildren want to have a party afterwards, well I'm ok with that.

You're going to be fine regardless of how you choose to honor her when she's gone, so don't lose too much sleep over this.

I think what I want needs to be honored. I will be cremated with NO viewing. I think they are archaic. Told my girls they can have a nice dinner on me. If they want to do a Memorial service with a nice luncheon, OK.

I had a friend who wanted no viewing and her daughter went against this. I thought it was awful.

I realize a funeral is for the living but I think we should be able to be in control of our own funeral service.

My take on it is that funerals are for the funeral industry and to impress other people. Her body (like both my parents-in-law’s wishes) goes to medical research. If you wish, have a party afterwards where someone (you?) gives a little dignified speech. The gush that gets spouted at many funerals makes me feel slightly ill. If the relations like funerals as get-togethers, the party is enough to provide 'closure'.

I myself just want my survivors to have a party if they want that. After all, I won’t be there. I’ve considered buying a casket that could be filled with ice, beer, wine etc. for the party but then, I love dark humor.

I think your mother’s wishes should be respected.

Nurse- it’s a great service that your mom does by donating her body to science.

Instead of a funeral or a party/celebration which your mother doesn’t want, I like lealonnie’s suggestion of a small intimate gathering with people you want to help you find closure for your loss.

The latest green/environmental friendly option in lieu of a traditional burial or cremation is human composting. I was a bit shocked when I read about it. Basically, the body gets covered in layers of leaves/straws/twigs and put into a chamber where the composting process is expedited. The body becomes dirt in a few days. The family has the option to take the dirt to do whatever they want with it. This might be more accessible and acceptable in the future.

My mother wants to be cremated with no service. A. She doesn't want anybody looking at her. and B. She doesn't want all those "old" people tripping and falling at the cemetery. (eye roll) In my case, there isn't much family etc. What I might do is have an open invitation to the local restaurant between the hours of X and X. I'll be there to chat and mother will posthumously pick up the tab. She did love to eat out.

Do something simpler with a different name for YOU.

I am going to have immediate family only for dinner. I already have the restaurant picked out. It has a spectacular view and it is an old school type of place and my parents would appreciate it. Which is saying a lot. Cremation service and urns already paid in full.

Personally I never could stand the after parties. It’s hard enough to watch a loved one being lowered into the ground but then to have to go home and celebrate or mourn with a bunch people is brutal. I would much rather mourn in peace either by myself or with the closest of family members. I know it’s tradition however I know my mom felt much the same way. Her wish is not to have a funeral. She bought a plot on my dad died 40 years ago next to him. She said bury her there and be done with it she doesn’t even want anyone there. I will probably go while she is being buried and have a minister say a few words however it will be private. If my sisters want to go they can if not they don’t have to. Afterwords I want to go home and be left alone. My mother has always been a very private person she would not feel the need for a celebration of her life, also known as the after party.