What do you do when your parent does not want a funeral, obituary, or celebration of life? I feel like I’m really going to need closure.

I think you do something small & intimate for YOUR sake, in your mother's honor, b/c funerals & such are for the living, not the dead. You don't have to do some big funeral or large gathering, but something small & intimate that you arrange to suit YOU. When my brother in law died not long ago, he was cremated. Several months later, we drove his ashes up to the mountains and spread them around the grounds of a family member's acreage. We each said something fond that we remembered about him, and then ordered Jersey Mike's sub sandwiches. So it wasn't a 'funeral' or a 'celebration of life', nor did we post an obituary for him, but we did what WE wanted to do in honor of his memory.

Best of luck

My mother wants to be cremated with no service. A. She doesn't want anybody looking at her. and B. She doesn't want all those "old" people tripping and falling at the cemetery. (eye roll) In my case, there isn't much family etc. What I might do is have an open invitation to the local restaurant between the hours of X and X. I'll be there to chat and mother will posthumously pick up the tab. She did love to eat out.

Wakes, funerals, memorial services... they're not for the person who died. They're for the people they left behind.
If your parent says they don't want anything, don't discuss it with them further. When they do pass, it will be up to you to honor them in whatever way you and your family see fit. If that's a wake, or funeral, church service, or even just a get together then that's what you should do.

I myself just want my survivors to have a party if they want that. After all, I won’t be there. I’ve considered buying a casket that could be filled with ice, beer, wine etc. for the party but then, I love dark humor.

I think what I want needs to be honored. I will be cremated with NO viewing. I think they are archaic. Told my girls they can have a nice dinner on me. If they want to do a Memorial service with a nice luncheon, OK.

I had a friend who wanted no viewing and her daughter went against this. I thought it was awful.

I realize a funeral is for the living but I think we should be able to be in control of our own funeral service.

Funerals are not for the dead. They're for the living. Some part of the estate must be dedicated to deal with the dispensation of bodies. There is nothing wrong with inviting others once that occurs.

You do what feels right for you. She'll never know.

My husband wants a full-on Catholic service with rosary, funeral the next day, and who knows what else -- for me. That's hilarious, because I'm not Catholic and I doubt any priest would do that. Nevertheless, that's what will bring him comfort, so whatever version of that he feels he needs to do to bring himself comfort is OK with me.

I'm an atheist, so if I outlive him, things might be done differently at his service. I'll have a nice memorial gathering, and say my goodbyes in the way that'll bring me and my kids comfort. Much as I love him, I won't be dropping $30,000+ on a funeral full of rituals that bring me no solace. We'll ooth end up in the same place in the end.

Do what works for you, and that obituary is important for history. Some great-grandchild might want to know about her someday, and they should be able to find a mention of her.

She is donating her body to the University.

Nurse- it’s a great service that your mom does by donating her body to science.

Instead of a funeral or a party/celebration which your mother doesn’t want, I like lealonnie’s suggestion of a small intimate gathering with people you want to help you find closure for your loss.