My dad has dementia and a catheter due to advanced prostrate cancer. He is 90. He and my mom, 88, were to move into independent living this week. I came to visit 2 weeks ago to prepare for the move and my dad had to be taken to ER because his catheter was clogged and neither one of them didn’t know he hadn’t passed urine for 24 hours. He had a bad UTI which led to 10 days in hospital. This made his dementia much worse and they had to restrain him, I spent the night, drugs to sedate. Well time to leave and we find out he can’t go to assisted living or memory care in the same facility as my mom because of the catheter. We moved him to self pay skilled nursing at the same facility.
We moved my mom in yesterday and she can go see him very easily. It breaks my heart because she wants to walk him here to stay with her. He is the healthiest person in skilled nursing. He walks around packs his bag to leave, and just doesn’t understand why he is there with all the “old people”. The dementia has progressed quickly but physically he is good. We can’t afford the high rate of daily care there. We are in the state of South Carolina. The urologist said something of an operation that we may elect to remove the catheter and maybe he could move to memory care.
I guess my question is if my sister and I were here, do you think it would be worse to show my dad the apartment and let him visit with my mom and then take him back or does that make it worse. We have a care team meeting in a week so I guess I will let it be until then.
I have loved the caring responses from this group and I am fortunate that my parents planned and knew they were coming here. We only wish they had done it sooner. My sister and family are all on board so I am blessed.