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I am at a loss and I feel like I have no one to turn to. My husband and I can no longer care for his mom in our home. We applied for Medicaid to begin the nursing home process, however she is going to be penalized by Medicaid so my question is what do we do when we can no longer care for her in our home, she won't go to a nursing home because she hasn't been approved for Medicaid and we can't afford to pay a nursing home? My husband and I were the only ones who could at the time but she has gone downhill so fast that it's getting harder and harder to care. Is there anyone who can offer some insight?

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How long is the Medicaid penalty period? And why the penalty? Did she gift money to someone?
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What happened to the money from the sale of the home?

Or was the home sold for far below market value?

Daughter who was POA and got her mother into this situation is now responsible for her mom's care.

I'd drop her off this afternoon.
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Woah! Can you go back a bit, please?

Your MIL was living in her own home? with her daughter as her primary caregiver.

Your MIL sold her house to your BIL? Or the POA daughter sold the house to your nephew?

What happened to that money?

How did MIL come to wind up living in *your* home? And when?

Where are your sister in law and your brother in law / nephew now, are you in touch with them, and what have they had to say for themselves?
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(As usual) BarbBrooklyn has the solution. SIL should be responsible, since this is all HER doing. And if you don't make her responsible, YOU and your H will be doing the eldercare. Are you ready for that?

If not, draw your line in the sand NOW and stand firm.
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Find out from Medicaid if your status is "pending". Nursing homes admit under this status. And follow the money from the sale of the home.
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The nursing home will NOT admit her Medicaid pending. You already know that there will be a penalty period assessed. The nursing home will want a guarantee of payment - you and your husband or sister in law - since there is no money coming from Medicaid. The personnel there are not stupid; if you've already found out there will be a penalty assessed, they know your mother in law has no money when you do the application and list assets. The State of Ohio doesn't provide care via Medicaid for elders that gave away their assets to family members for free. You can report the sister in law for elder abuse or the nephew for elder abuse; but your mother in law would have to sign a complaint for them to get prosecuted. I doubt that would happen. You could do a nuclear option and when her next health crisis happens, you could leave her at emergency room and ask the state to assume guardianship. However, at that point, the state of Ohio would be in a position of deciding where mother in law lives, which may be far from you, and might go after sister in law or her son who received the house. Has the house title been transferred or was it done by quit claim? If mother in law's name is still on the house, because they wanted cheaper taxes, you can see if they can void the quit claim. I'm so sorry that your family is in this mess.
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I hope nothing awful happened to SIL? :/
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Right. So.

Mother lived with daughter in daughter's home. When did mother move in to daughter's home?

Daughter "sold" mother's home to daughter's son, your nephew. Except that no money has changed hands. So in fact there has been no sale: no consideration = no contract. Where is the documentation? Is your nephew now living in the house?

The house is the big asset that is causing most of the gifting trouble. It is worth at least *arguing* about it, at least finding out who legally owns the dam' thing.

Back to our narrative. In August 2016 Daughter has a meltdown: do you know if this was for any reason besides the strain of caregiving? She tells DH to collect MIL. DH does so. Since then, MIL has been living with you, and things are now getting unmanageable.

Where is Daughter?
Where is Nephew?
When did you last hear from either of them?
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What were the terms of the house "sale"? That MIL received NO money from the sale m as less No sense at all! If a personal contract was done asnd he hasn't paid payments, then he is in default, and should be prosecuted!

There must have been some kind of contract, and the title, home insurance and contract, must have been documented with the county, shouldn't it have been. I think SIL and Nephew are making up stories, or stalling for some reason,  as this part of the story makes no sense. Handshake deals are not worth their weight,  when it comes to working with government agencies! I'd be demanding to see the documents, as MIL has needs of her biggest asset to live on for the rest of her life,  the sale of her home, like the rest of us! 
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Well, before you think in terms of suing them, would it not be worthwhile to try again to get hold of them? Where have they disappeared to? Has there been a major confrontation between them and your husband?
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