Nursing home or Respite facility is likely to be a self-pay situation, but it would be worth the money to get the vacation you need. Think of it as part of the vacation expense.
Have you investigated a respite stay an a nearby skilled nursing or assisted living nearby? I would tour a couple of facilities prior to your vacation and then make a selection. Your area agency on agingo would be a good resource for a facility list offering respite care. If you think she would do better remaining in her own environment, you could hire someone from an agency that offers live in caregivers. Again the area agency on aging should have a lust of agencies. If you know of other people who are caregivers, then may be able to provide you with a recommendation to a facility.
Some nursing homes take patients for a few weeks under rehab conditions. Medicare pays the first 20 days; after that Medicare picks up 80% for some number of months, I forget how many. If you had a doctor put her into a NH for rehab that would solve it.
No that wouldn’t solve it. Her mom has to be admitted to the hospital for a minimum of 3 days before she can go to rehab. A doctor cannot just put her mother in rehab the way you are suggesting, that is not at all how it works.
I would explore paid caregivers to provide for her care in the home round the clock..Explore 2 people for 12 hour shifts and begin with them now so you can make sure you like what you see. Look at putting her in adult daycare if only one reliable person can do it. Explore care.com to seek possible providers
Simple answer respite we put my mother there 2 times a year for 17 days each. It is a big rest for me because I am her 24/7 caregiver the only thing she is capstone is eating. Everything else I do for her. Oh yes she can also drive my crazy, asking to go home to her mother who passed 30 years ago.
Most Memory Care facilities will take a person for Respite. It would be private pay so check around and ask what the costs would be. If MIL is on Hospice Medicare will pay for Respite and if you are gone longer than what the allowable would be the remaining portion wold be private pay. You could hire caregivers and have them come in while you are gone. If she is on medication it may cost more as a qualified person would have to administer medications.
We hired a retired nurse who we called “the house sitter”. We were gone two weeks...it was heavenly. My mom is semi-independent, but the “house sitter” did visit with her, take meals, and make her coffee. Most importantly, she stayed at the house and was here for emergencies.
If you can find some respite care, please take your vacation. My mom kept us from going for many years,(5), and it was hard because we love to travel,have friends and relatives far away, and it was one thing that kept me sane. At the time there was not much help to be found. Now, after my mom passed on, my MIL has stopped us after we had a short break to do so...she refuses outside help. If there is any way you can go, even a short break, I hope you can!
Just because she refuses outside help does not mean she gets her way. Sounds like she is holding you hostage. Maybe you can find a way to break out of jail.
You will have to put her in respite care. Most Assisted Living facilities offer this short term stay option. Or you can hire an agency, like Visiting Angel's, to stay with her. They offer 24 hour care.
I would contact the assisted living facilities, nursing homes and board and care homes in your area and ask if they do respite care and how you set that up.
She will probably need to have a tuberculosis test and a needs assessment done for anyone to take her, even for a short time.
I would recommend that you get it for a month, after 10 years she must be pretty advanced and it would do your family good to have a vacation and a staycation for a couple weeks. It is important that all of you get a chance to recharge your batteries. If your vacations are like ours, you need a vacation to recover from the vacation. So I recommend taking extra time, it could possibly be less expensive by the month.
Best of luck finding a place for mom and enjoy your vacation!
Can you put her in respite care? contact your local senior center or county dept of aging? Many facilities offer respite care (they need to fill beds which are temporarily available when residents are in the hospital, but will be returning)
Florida, those beds are not available if patient is paying & not discharged. I paid for the month when my mother was in hospital for a week just to keep her bed
Look at putting her in adult daycare if only one reliable person can do it.
Explore care.com to seek possible providers
If MIL is on Hospice Medicare will pay for Respite and if you are gone longer than what the allowable would be the remaining portion wold be private pay.
You could hire caregivers and have them come in while you are gone. If she is on medication it may cost more as a qualified person would have to administer medications.
Or you can hire an agency, like Visiting Angel's, to stay with her. They offer 24 hour care.
She will probably need to have a tuberculosis test and a needs assessment done for anyone to take her, even for a short time.
I would recommend that you get it for a month, after 10 years she must be pretty advanced and it would do your family good to have a vacation and a staycation for a couple weeks. It is important that all of you get a chance to recharge your batteries. If your vacations are like ours, you need a vacation to recover from the vacation. So I recommend taking extra time, it could possibly be less expensive by the month.
Best of luck finding a place for mom and enjoy your vacation!