What do I say in Christmas cards? How do I tell card recipients close enough to know that my husband is ill with Alzheimer's?

You could say "I'm writing for both of us because DH is ill with Alzheimer's Disease and the going is getting tough." You can then add in your usual length of other news, or you can tell them a phone call over the holidays would mean a lot, or you can ask them not to be strangers, whatever you would really like from the individual/couple/family you're writing to.

Be truthful, and don't make the assumption on their behalf that you and DH have to be cast out of the social circle. How would you respond to your friend if she wrote with the same news to you?

I'm so sorry for your situation. I may be in the minority here, but I think of the holidays as a time to connect, not just talk about happy things. Many people struggle at this time of year in particular. Personally I would much rather receive an honest Christmas letter that lets me know what's really going on in someone's life than a litany of all the amazing trips they took or how accomplished their grandchildren are. As for the idea that "if they're really your friends, they'd already know," I don't subscribe to that either. We all have busy lives and competing priorities (those of use who are caregivers especially!). I try my best to keep up with what my friends and extended family are up to but have limited time and energy to do so. We're all doing the best we can. So do what YOU feel comfortable with. If it's too painful or onerous to write it all out, skip the letter or the cards altogether. Either way, try not to worry about what other people will think. Wishing you peace and comfort through the season and this difficult time.

Honesty is always the best policy. If these folks are "close enough" they will want to know what is going on so they can support you along the way.
This is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, and it may give another of your friends the permission needed to be open and honest about what is going on in their life as well.
God bless you.

Hello,
I think you could write a letter to include in your cards and start by saying how 2022 has been filled with adjusting to a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s with your beloved (name). Tell them how you miss the parts of his personality that he is know for and that they all love about him. Tell them how best to communicate with both of you in 2023. If you still want them to see or communicate with either of you, tell them that although he is compromised by this debilitating disease, he would still love to see or hear from them in the coming months. Don’t make it too verbose. Instead, just tell them what has happened in 2022 and how best they could communicate with or support both of you.

Moving my husband to a AL/MC residence this summer and, planning to retire in a few months to be able to move and be closer to family, I, for the first time, included a brief letter about our new situation. The result is my husband’s mailbox is filled with cards from dear family and friends who also have reached out to me with such love, care, and support. I am very happy to have taken the time to share what is going on in our world turned upside down; it’s been good for our souls. Holiday blessings to all and strength to make it through the sad and difficult moments the season can bring.

I don't think a "Christmas card" is the time or the place to announce where your lives are with DH having AD, personally. I'd call each of your friends individually, or send them a note after the holidays, and let them know about your husband's health situation and what's going on in your lives currently.

Me? I haven't sent out Christmas cards since the 90s! I think I receive about 4 of them a year, and one contains a "Christmas letter" from my cousin full of chatty news of her life and what's been going on for the past year, including all the deaths, funerals, etc. Seems idiotic to me, but that's just my opinion.

My mother’s dementia is severe and she’s been in care or a hospital for over a year. I watched for Christmas cards to arrive because I didn’t know who of my mother’s peers were alive or dead. I then wrote back and explained that my mother has dementia and has declined to the point that she can no longer write. And told about her care. Simple terms, rather matter of fact. Every person who received my letter phoned to thank me for letting them know. They said it was better to know the truth than continue to wonder why she had faded away, having also forgotten how to phone. Most of them still phone me every few months to inquire about her. I have just finished mailing cards to those same people, with an update on her care and condition.

Your husband’s condition is a fact and you cannot control how other people react to it. I am an atheist (with some pagan tendencies) so Christmas might not have the same meaning for me, but I look at it not as a time that has to be joyous, but one where we send cards to renew or confirm contact. Shared time, food, gifts. A together time, through good or bad.

Your husband's condition is nothing to be ashamed of or to minimize. Just do your normal greetings. If that typically includes mentioning health and happenings of the year, just say something like "Joe has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and we are taking things one day at a time. We would love to see you sooner rather than later. Additionally, the cat had kittens and they are ...." Encourage visits as you, as well as your husband, are going to need them!

Let them know, it doesn’t have to be long. The last card my Mum “sent” I was writing greetings for her, she was trying to sign. I slipped in a note saying I thought this might be the last card they would get from her and why. I received several notes of thanks.

There is no shame in using the words Alzheimers, Dementia, etc. I generally stop short of all the details that make caregiving difficult (wandering, incontinence, outbursts, etc.) I generally would say something along the lines of "She has good days and bad days." Then move on to something else.