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He is in the hospital sometimes coherent other times not. The doctors never call me regarding his condition etc.

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Has he assigned you to be is health care POA? I am surprised that the medical staff doesn't call you just because you are his wife.
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One thought here is: typically the doctors in the hospital treat mainly the 'clinical reason' a patient was admitted to the hospital. I think all hospitals typically ask those questions, in the case of loss of consciousness or other, such as: does he have a will? does he have advanced medical directive, contact information for billing, insurance, etc. The hospitals ask these questions because they are important to ensure if the patient has certain requests or a POA. If the patient is self-aware then they ask the patient to sign those documents. When it comes time for discharge, they also ask the person to sign and take responsibility to see they are in good care. I guess there are several ways to go about it, regardless of state, but I think with respect to finances and health you have to consider all of the following: financial adviser, attorney, medical care experts that do this all the time. Just feedback, that is the kind of documentation you want to be reviewed and signed and notarized which informs anyone who asks that you are the healthcare POA or durable power of attorney or other, and then align all of that across the board, so you have a starting point. Just my two cents. Whatever may be the case or state, you want that documentation filed within the county where he and you reside and have copies on-hand, in case they are needed to express your husband's wishes in writing. Having the documentation definitely helps in a lot of situations. The more questions you ask, the more progress you will make and hopefully you can make those decisions alongside with your husband too, if possible.
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girlable, if your husband seems coherent when the doctors see him, perhaps they assume he is a competent adult who can make all of his own decisions, and tell you about them himself. Why isn't this the case? Why should you be making his medical decisions? For example, does he have dementia? Some other cognitive impairment? Is this in his medical record?

For you to really be in charge of all medical decisions you would have to prove that he is incompetent to make his own decisions and then get guardianship, through a court.

But a medical POA should allow you to make decisions when he clearly can't. Is that sufficient for your purposes?
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