What do I do if my loved one doesn't believe in nor wants traditional medical help and won't get tested for dementia?

You honor her wishes and don’t bother with getting tests and diagnosis. And if you’re anything like me, you quietly use Dr. Google to look up information on the symptoms you’re seeing and how to best deal with them. It’s certainly not foolproof but it can be a valuable guide and resource. As can the videos of Teepa Snow often recommended here. I wish you both peace

Pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how best to help your wife.

https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/1480007579/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1XEWHR60Z39OK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.p_6NlT6zXJbX-KpYvSpUiTmbgeaNOM-YOuYdfxU7OD-9O5rDt-3V_io-Mp6kKVNgvrtD8UhN8qoZ0oc1HOauu4TT4vbmRsugBMRbxFIbPYLL5jMU6NpayRLJPPceZzd4lV3LbUHs4zP8ucLU_8Bd_DEpgA0lURMJHMXnpCeNiS-g6ZeuyzB6mwloEI6rM6qFwpVKiXBnIEXPfgN6KDxkX_mNJWXFA5XIU80pT7-3lOM.DYSe-bV1ErztyUgFY6DRQmhZ1ttxRangrQI8Zp4FrRk&dib_tag=se&keywords=Understanding+the+dementia+experience&qid=1708461617&s=audible&sprefix=understanding+the+dementia+experience%2Caudible%2C356&sr=1-1-catcorr

I wish there was ANY cure for the heartache of watching a loved one fade away before your eyes, natural or otherwise. I'm sorry you and your dear wife are going through this and wish you the best of luck with a difficult situation.

I just made a comment on another thread, the one that says " why doesnt anyone live until 79 any more" .
I said " I'm not sure if our approach to aging in the US makes any sense "

Well, we can keep people living longer, up to 100 or more, but there still are very limited if any treatments for dementia and other aging related diseases of the brain.

I would say that, perhaps your LO is the smart one among us. If there is no actual treatment for dementia, then why test for it and go through western medicine that has no treatment really....?
she had cancer 50 years ago and was told she would die without western medical treatment, and she did ok. Maybe there is no nature cure now with aging, but there is not really a western medicine cure either! With my current state of mind managing my dads care, I'm actually with your LO on this. She seems to be on to something good.... Now the stress is on you and to see her likely fade away more quickly. I'm sure that wont be easy .. we are with you, here on the forum.

The natural cure is death. We are born to die. And way back before medications, when the herbalists did their best, and people couldn't spend their days couch surfing and eating potato chips the AVERAGE LIFESPAN was that you DIED IN YOUR THIRTIES.
Really.
You were considered grown at puberty, you bred, you died, in not in childbirth, then likely soon after. Pneumonia took the young, the middle aged and the elders thirty-five year olds in droves.
The World Wars wiped out a lot of breeding stock when there were no antibiotics to treat their wounds and their acquired "social diseases". Maybe a good thing. We would certain be dealing with over population without it.

With dementia, push will come to shove, and the ambulance will eventually be called whether for a broken hip or some other catastrophic occurrence. If you are in charge at that time due to your Mom being judged incompetent in hospital you will have decisions to make that no longer invovle what "she believes", but what "you believe". So better start working on those plans in your own mind now.

Meanwhile one can only wish you good luck. We all make choices in life. "You bet your life" is more than a catch-phrase at times.

There is no cure for Dementia . All One can do is encourage healthy eating , exercise and encouragement . Your mom is smart - I have studied herbs , Homeopathic medicine , shiatsu , acupuncture and macrobiotic diet . Back in the day when there were no Pharmacuetical companies Pushing Pills on People . people did have natural remedies . When I have been Ill and Western medicine did Not work I went holistic from acupuncture , shiatsu massage , reiki and Looked up natural remedies . You Might want to try this route with her . Some People swear By Lions Mane - You Can get it in Gummie form . CBD Can Help with aches , arthritis , and anxiety . There is also Gamma Light therapy . Your Mom May want to try some of these therapies . As for you get some support . I went to community acupuncture , rode my Bike , tried to swim and go out to eat . Maybe try a Hobby with her Like gardening . Roses, Tomatoes , sunflowers that will bring you Both Joy . This forum has some wonderful people who give advice because they Care . There are also Foods that are good for the brain : walnuts , fish , avocados , Blue berries etc. A Mediterranean diet . Everyone gets Old Its a Part of Life . Just enjoy your time with her .

Why is a diagnosis so important to you? Do you need a doctor to tell you what you already know? There is no treatment for dementia they will not get better. So just deal with it and do not push the issue.

You ask what do you do if your loved one doesn't want traditional help, and I will say that you honor her wishes.
If in fact she has some form of dementia, there is no cure anyway, so why not let her live her life the way she's always chosen?
We are all going to die one day and what better than to let your wife do her life and death on her own terms? When it's all said and done, you will be glad that you let her do things her own way.
And there is a "natural cure for the heartache of watching" someone you love decline or "fade away" and it's called prayer. And it's way more powerful than any natural, non traditional or even traditional treatments.
God bless you as walk this journey with your wife.

I'm a fan of the holistic approach to treating illness. Not just in treating the illness itself.

Seriously though, the homeopathic belief has a lot of merit. It is not an answer to everything that's ailing a person and many make a dangerous mistake in believing that it is.

Modern medicine, homeopathy, and the holistic approach is what's best for people who are sick with both physical illness and mental illness.

Your "loved one" did not cure her cancer with herbs 50 years ago. That did not happen. She may have gotten lucky and surgery was a success. Or she did some kind of conventional treatment and got lucky again and it worked.

Good nutrition and a healthy lifestyle is important for overall good health. Even the healthiest people get sick. Take King Charles III of England for example. There is a man who has only eaten organic food since he was young. Does not drink, use drugs, or smoke. Never did, and he's kept up on his fitness since childhood and has had the very best the world can offer in terms of healthcare and anything else.

He's got cancer now.

His obese grandmother who ate gluttonously, drank like a fish, and smoked like a chimney died at the age of 105.
So you never know.

If your LO has decided to be obstinate and stubborn about going to a doctor and getting tested, then you make it clear to her that you cannot help her if you don't know what's going on. That she cannot help herself if she doesn't either.

Denial never helped anything or anyone. It only makes everything worse.

The harshest, ugliest truth is always better than the most beautiful lie.

I think of all the things that can be said here:
Yes to modern medicine.
No to modern medicine.
Combine them.
Whatever.....
The most important thing to remember is that this is individual choice, and that you will, knowing your loved one, know what choices that individual would make "if of sound body". And to try to honor that choice.
I think there is a lot to be said for our individual rights to our own decisions for our own bodies. To me almost a "sacred" right.

She is 89 so some age decline anyway. What does she do that makes u feel its Dementia? I hope u have POA, if not get it before she is diagnosed. Pick a time of day she is "most with it". Mid to late afternoon is when they sundown. You may have to wait until she can no longer deside for herself. The only reason for a diagnosis is to find out what type so the correct medications can be given.