My parents are declining in health and mental status. They have 4 children. I live 300 miles away. The other siblings live close by. The oldest sibling is purposefully excluding the other children from helping with care, keeping us in the dark about their condition and treatment, and even exclaiming that our parent's health is none of our business. He also continually manipulates and instills fear into our parents, by convincing them that my other siblings are untrustworthy (which is unwarrrented).
After a year of him being in charge of my parent's care, it has become evident that he is not making decisions in their best interest due to denial, emotional immaturity, and possibly financial motivation (his name is on one of my mother's bank accounts, and he is currently unemployed).
He cancels important appointments and gives many doctors unnecessary grief, which affects their care. They are living in a home that they cannot manage and that is filthy. Their personal hygiene is being neglected as well.
Today I found out (from their lawyer) that I am on their HIPAA and I am also listed as an equal health proxy and power of attorney with this difficult sibling (who led me to believe I was simply an alternate). My other siblings are asking me to intervene and start taking action. I don't know where to begin. I do not want a legal battle with my brother. I would like to work with him and everyone in my parent's best interest.
Although they are not deemed mentally incompetent, they essentially are and cannot process or deal with this situation (even after attempts to bring it to their attention).
Where do I even begin?