What has a dementia patient said that made you laugh out loud?

my mom makes me laugh, when she says something naughty and she turns RED from embarrassment from her own remark. usually some bodily function remark. some remark she would never, ever say in the past.

what does your mom mean by pee and morons ? I'm curious what it refers to?

When my mother was first moved to a nursing home she got it in her head if she began falling a lot she would get kicked out. Made sense since that’s what got her 86’d from AL.

So mom “fell” at least once a day.

Evidently, one day my mom wanted me to be the one who found her. Mom knew I was coming to visit after lunch but I hadn’t given a specific time.

So not knowing how long I’d be, she decided to take a pillow and blanket while she waited on the
floor in her room. Might as well be comfortable, right?

Now, that in itself was pretty
funny but what came later was priceless.

The NH had put a pretty strict “fall plan” into place back when mom was fake falling. She hated it - it was very restrictive. Hated it! So after a while she quit fake falling and the plan was stopped.

However - eventually mom began to fall for real. Never really a hard fall - more of sinking to the floor.

Whenever staff would go into my mothers room and find her on the floor my mom would snap “I didn’t fall, I was praying”.

Priceless.

My mom was in rehab. The nurse came in and gave her her afternoon pills. After mom took them all, she said to me " You see, I have to manage my own medications here".

I said, "whaa!aaaat? "
Mom gave me a " significant" look and pointed with her crooked arthritic finger at the water jug and arched her eyebrows knowingly.

It was hysterically funny and so very sad, all at once.

With the different time changes that take place it had mom feeling confused as to why it was getting dark earlier in the wintertime. Her response was "These damn clocks." At the time she said it, I couldn't stop laughing. I still think about it from time to time.

I was helping my mum with shopping and she saw a very overweight man standing at the next checkout. He had a huge beer belly. I could see her thinking and then she shouted to everyone, “ Oh look at that man. He’s expecting a baby any day now!” I was mortified.
On another occasion we were attending my son’s Graduation from University. There was the most beautiful, elegant black woman sitting in front of us with the most amazing outfit and stunning green head dress. My mum shouts out in a quiet moment, “ Look at that woman!”
”I know,” says I, “Isn’t she beautiful?”
”And hasn’t she caught the sun?” remarks my mum.
You have to laugh. 🤭🤫🙄😲😂

88 yo client asked me why I threw her mattress in the water. I told her I would never do anything like that. She looked at me so seriously and said “I know you’re lying and I have ways of making you talk”

I can't repeat what my mom said but I was bent over and laughed until I cried. OMG mom! I couldn't stop laughing. Then I asked where another resident was. Staff member said "Glad you said something. When he is quiet he's usually into something." She found him in another resident's room and brought him back to the main sitting room where we all were.

"See?" She says."He was off getting into trouble." He says "That's bullsh*t!" I laughed even harder and rolled onto the floor. That was a most memorable hilarious visit with mom. I'm just sorry it wasn't all caught on video.

I here you @ Gremlin, my mom says things that I can't connect where/how/why she said what she said, its a mystery to me how it works(brain), my mom says things that she would have never said in the past, not a swear word, no mention of body parts...., so when she lets these words out, 'I'm like, what?, did she really say that' and I just smile to myself. What else is there to do, right?, just moving along.

My father would occasionally do/say odd things and my mother would say to him "You're nuts!" One day he responded, "What about them?"

My DH reached the point that he didn't know where we were. He would ask me when we were going home. When I replied that this is our house, he would ask if he could go up to bed. There is no "up" in our house. Another time he wanted to go downstairs to bed - same as above, there is no "down" in our house.

One day I told him yes and asked if I could watch him go up or down to bed and he started laughing. The last 2 years he slept in the living-room - so I just helped him to bed.

Mom and I were doing a crossword puzzle and the clue was "What goes best with Chicken A La King?" Very matter-of-factly Mom answered "Chicken A La Queen!" Priceless!

My mom wanted to tell someone that she pounded the pavement, looking for a job after college, in NY, but what she said was, "I walked the streets of NY, if you know what I mean." My mom might have been a sweet talker, but she wasn't a street walker. I even put that anecdote in my book, "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale" I'm so glad to see these posts, because humor is what kept me going, rather than going "crazy" myself. I put that word in quotes, because as we all know, it's not that they're going crazy, it's that they're sick, but when my mom would say something inappropriate, I had to remind myself of that. My mom also thought of 1 level buildings as having 2 levels, as another contributor mentioned. I have recently learned that an Alzheimer's patient's vision can become more narrow and/or distorted, so maybe that contributed to it; I'm not sure. My mom made me laugh when she accused someone of stealing her bridge. It was in her mouth! I had to laugh; it was better than crying.

My dad is close to the dementia diagnosis (LBD). When doing the cognitive testing with the doctor... he had to name as many words that started with "F" as he could. I got quite the giggle when my dad said "Fart" as one of his words. Still brings a smile to my face.

Mom was in the hospital and I thought I would read aloud to her from a book she loved. This went on for about 10 minutes, until mom said, "No more talking" I guess that was her way of saying she was tired of the story. The way she said it still makes me laugh.

My sweet little 98 year old mother told me that “sometimes I forget, and other times I don’t remember.” I burst out laughing at that one.

When my long-time widowed mother with dementia once said "I had a husband - he went away and then I got another husband". It was totally untrue, but it made me smile. And it seemed to make her happy!

My mother when she realizes that she forgot something: "Of all the things I ever lost, I miss my mind the most"!

My Alzheimer's friend absolutely loved her doctor, and considered her the final word on everything.
I went to help her with her bath one day (which she hated) and she said "Dr. L told me that whatever I do, i was to never ever take a bath under any circumstances! And if someone tried to make me, I have to call the police".

Mom was living at home and my son (14) and I were there for the weekend. I had completed the weekly paying of bills and updating the budget book, I had completed the sorting and filling medication boxes for the next two weeks. Now was the try to get her out of the house. Her friend had invited her to a church supper that night but Mom didn’t want to go. How about a trip to the grocery store and we can get lunch somewhere, “nope”. So off I went to get their food for the week, (her younger sister came and stayed from lunch on Monday to lunch on Friday) and any medication refills or banking that needed to be completed.


To this day we talk among the family that in the end if we wanted my mother to do something we just needed to offer her PIE. I never did learn her recipe for chili.

I came home with supplies for chili and asked Mom to show me how she made hers. She then starts talking again about the church supper. I tell her if she wants to go I’ll take her, “no that’s ok”. “Well you know it’s at your SIL church and they usually have PIE for dessert and Holly (SIL) makes a great PIE. I like PIE.” I think we had this conversation 3 times and I had already checked that they would take us at the door. Eventually she decided she would go and she got her PIE.

The was before my MIL came down with dementia but still funny. I grew up in the North. My mother in law in the South. I loved her dearly and she lived with us off and on. One day she said, "Jim, can you carry me to the store?" Not knowing that cute bit of "southern speak" I looked at her legs to see what was wrong with them. She caught me doing that and we had a good laugh together. After about a year I could speak and understand "Southern" with the best of them.

When I asked my husband how he had slept, he replied," With my eyes closed! " Another time I offered to give him a hand to help with his shoes. He told me he already had two. We got to keep laughing to keep from crying and to make good memories.

My funniest story after mom moved into AL Memory Care was that a very important person lived on the unit with them in a small town in the deep south, not Dallas. The ladies on the unit had surmised that a patient by the last name Perault was none other than Ross Perot's wife in the flesh. Mom pointed her out to me and told me in a hushed tone. The staff and all the families of the patients really got a hoot out of that one especially since the place is obscure and not top of the line like a Perot could afford.

My grandma with dementia once asked me "how do homosexuals have sex?"

I told her I didn't know.

Thank you for this story. I sometimes forget how those little funny remarks can lighten our day. I get so serious at times and my days drag along. Thanks lightening my load.

i enjoyed all your stories. Some of them made me LOL!! Although nothing specific comes to mind at the moment, lots of laughter makes up our day. My soon to be 96 year old mother struggles with conversation now, but uses such big words at times. I will ask her to spell that big word she just used and 99% of the time she can!! She has always done crossword puzzles and we are still doing the daily one from the newspaper together, with her eyes not able to read the fine print anymore. It has helped her memory so much.

Mom had her days confused and on a Friday as I took her to the hair person (only way to get her hair washed) she was REALLY pissed at Dad because he was not home and off having a good time "somewhere" and according to her HE KNEW Saturday was HER day for him to take her out to lunch and she could JUST KICK HIM...however I strongly suspect she was looking for the word "kill".

LOL That’s funny.

I remember that my late mom used to have a delusion about having sex with "someone," and was telling me about that. She told me that she was in boat having good time, but she couldn’t understand why she got in the boat. It happened after she was healing from the big fall in my garage.

My my mother's lost the ability to form sentences and her favorite words are my name and pussycat she always loved her cats. She also has this Obsession of yanking on her pull up all the time she's been doing this for about 2 years so one day about 2 weeks ago she says Deborah I've lost my p*ssy as she's yanking on her diaper well I had all to do to run to the bathroom before I peed my pants with laughter thank God for these little breaks in between

My mother was standing in the bathroom door and a nurse knocked on the door to her room and I opened it. Mom just stood there with her pants on the floor. The nurse asked her why she was standing there with her pants on the floor and she said she was waiting for the nurse to tell her how to pee. The nurse asked why the door was open and she said she forgot how to close it. It was so funny! Glad for the funny moments. We need a laugh.

We all know that dementia and anesthesia don't mix well. While in the hospital after hip surgery, she was convinced she had been abducted by aliens who were keeping her tied up in the basement of their space ship. She was certain the inflatable sleeves on her legs to prevent clots were alien tentacles. She kept begging me to help her escape. When I told her that she had to stay, she would reply, "They can't do this. Not in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!"