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We can't afford long term care insurance but don't want a big mess for our kids if we have to go in one. Any suggestions?

In my post I was just talking about assisted living not including independent care, memory care and nursing home that the average stay is too to four years before you might have to go up to a higher level of care. That is what I was told by the administrator at mommas assisted living.
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Reply to akababy7
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It takes a lifetime and some good luck to save for the time we are aged. It's too late to be asking when we are in our 40s or 50s really. You have the right idea, so save and save and save. Stay as healthy as you can in every way in order to try to postpone that time you must move into care. You aren't alone in wondering and worrying about this.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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If you have Medicare before applying for Medicaid do a five year look.iback. before you do anything. if you planning know place the house in children's name on deed yours off and husband 50/50. Still if one goes in nursing home and past away the other can stay in home but once that on past away the properties Medicaid . Because they paid and what paid back
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Reply to Charlesmorris2
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" Sadly, even if you have one million dollars set aside and you live in a LTC facility, that money will be wiped out completely within 10 years." How many people do you know that live in assisted living facilities for ten years? I believe the average is 2- 4 years.
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lealonnie1 Dec 6, 2023
My parents lived in IL for 3 years, AL for 5 years, and Memory Care Assisted Living for nearly 3 years.
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Long term care insurance can be tricky. It doesn't always cover all the care you may need. Most folks I take care of in hospitals tend to use up their assets and then go on Medicaid.
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Reply to Taarna
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Short of winning the lottery, if you live into your 80s or 90s, are middle class, and don’t have any LTC insurance, you will spend about $100,000 a year per person of your own money to stay in a LTC facility. That means retirement savings and any assets you own will have to cover the cost first - until you have used almost all of it, at which time you might qualify for Medicaid. I don’t know too many middle class folks who can handle a $9,000/month fee for very long without going completely broke in a short time. I will never understand in the USA why the cost for AL and LTC is so astronomical! And I am fairly certain that the residents are not costing anywhere near that and that the facilities are not providing services to each resident that justifies the outrageous cost. Someone is making a lot of $ off this business model. It will get worse before it gets better.
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DrBenshir Nov 11, 2023
But don't you know it costs $250-500K/year for each administrator? And there must be compensation for the board members! And insurance is probably in the high 6 figure or low 7 figure range. And the administrators and board members need support staff and benefits of course. And they need to keep the lobby and visible areas looking appealing, so they renovate frequently. That doesn't leave much for staff salaries and resident care...
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Lovingmom: You may have to apply for Medicaid. Your children NEVER pay for your care.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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The bottom line for all this is that the nursing home is going to get all your money, one way or the other. The biggest piece of advice is to put your house under someone else’s name. Do it today! There’s a five-year look back. Otherwise, Medicaid will put a lien on your house, and when you finally die, they’ll take all that money to make up for paying your care. Older people are proud and feel that they’re losing control if they put their house in someone else’s name, but it’s a huge mistake.
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Reply to MattyWelch
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jemfleming Nov 11, 2023
Why is it a mistake? They have no LTC insurance so money from the sale of their home can help pay for the cost of care. The strategy of putting your house in someone else’s name only makes sense if you are trying to preserve your assets for someone else to receive after you die. Meanwhile, you go on Medicaid and stay in a facility that takes Medicaid patients. Not my idea of financial planning, but it works for some.
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Try not to go in one. Seriously, if you were at the one I'm at right now, you'd go everything to stay out of one

To expand, since the end of DST here, things have gone "off the rails".

In just this week, found out Social Worker is leaving for a better job, an aide has left for a better job, a therapist already another one is leaving next week someone was caught smoking in their room ( a no no), argument between roommates that got loud, leading to one roommate changing rooms, and at this moment a male resident threw something at someone and slapped someone else in the face. "Help help" lady has expanded her vocabulary to "damn you" and "b****. She also had fun with her feces. 😆

The ,"funniest" was the interaction between the ex director and maintenance guy with the maintenance guy making the finger to the side of the head out of frustration with her.🙂

The Executive Director seems over her head with all the goings on that has been happening this past week.
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Reply to anonymous1732518
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If you cannot afford LTC insurance, then your next option would be to apply for Medicaid. Medicaid is for people with limited income and resources (poor people). It seems that you are planning ahead for you and your spouse’s long-term care so your and your spouse do not have to be a burden on your children, and this is a wonderful idea which we all should do.

In order to be on Medicaid, you will have to be qualified for this program. You should seek the advice of an elder law attorney who would guide you through the process of obtaining Medicaid.
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Reply to Dupedwife
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Get the PCP to assign a
" Geriatric Case Manager" or a Licensed Social Worker to the patient. These two professionals help assess the patient level of care needs and, assist the patient's family to learn about the care facility options available to them ; this of course will include them assessing the financial ability to pay , or not, and they can also assist you with appropriate Medicaid application processes if needed or VA Assistance ( if or is veteran or spouse of veteran). Or other resources.....

You may, also benefit from conferring with an Elder Law Attorney who can often be very helpful navigating the mine field of caring for the aging. They can also help you get Medicaid applications completed correctly and timely etc.

Get help from one or all of the above.....

Practice good self care !
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Reply to janicemeyer18
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Just a tip for all seniors get a divorce. Medicare and medicaid will pay for health care if you are broke. It will not leave the surviving spouse broke when they need it the most.
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Daughterof1930 Nov 10, 2023
Medicaid does not leaving the spouse broke, ever
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If minimal resources qualify you for Medicaid, you can apply for nursing home placement that way, but there is no provision for other Long Term Care at home or at a facility.. Long Term Care is an out-of-pocket proposition until you are poor enough to qualify for Medicaid placement in a facility.
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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LTC insurance proved to be a giant waste of money for my parents. It was very expensive and when my mother went into a nursing home, the policy was burned through completely in an amazingly short time. Nursing home care is so expensive the policies tend to have the effect of simply delaying the time until you need Medicaid. My dad did private pay until it was clear he couldn’t keep that up. Medicaid then paid for her care. The nursing home got mom’s entire SS check monthly and dad kept all of his, all of his pension, all of their savings, and their home. He had to sell one car, but otherwise his lifestyle was unchanged. The big mess for your kids will be manageable if they get familiar with the often changing best facilities in your town, learn the Medicaid application process, and determine to be an advocate for you should you need care.
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Dupedwife Nov 10, 2023
I have read where a lot of people are saying LTC insurance is a waste of money. I have read on the internet where someone’s premium for LTC insurance skyrocketed To $500.00 a month and he was advised to put that money into an investment trust instead of the long term care insurance. Sadly, even if you have one million dollars set aside and you live in a LTC facility, that money will be wiped out completely within 10 years.
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You have to become indigent in order for the government to help pay for a nursing home. That means that you cannot have any more than $2,000 in savings for the previous 5 years. In some states you have to go to court with all your documentation in order to be proved indigent. Frankly, you should not assume that you will get any financial help from the government. That's just the way it is.
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Reply to MamaRose
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MattyWelch Nov 10, 2023
I guess you could think of it this way, if you need nursing home care, then everything is going to be provided for you anyway. I’m on Medicaid now. I suppose it depends on what state you’re in but I have more than $2000 in assets.
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They will let your spouse stay in the home while the other one is in a nursing home if you own a home together, then once you are both gone medicade has a lien on it depending on how long you or the loved one were in the nursing home but if you put your house in a childs name at least 5 years prior to the nursing home it should be ok. Consult an elder care attorney to be sure,
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Renee7777 Nov 10, 2023
My house is in my name only. If my spouse dies before me, are you saying I would need Medicade if I don't have LTC.?
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I am assuming that you are not in that situation now. If you are, try to get some guidance from MIPPA, a federal program that help seniors pay for medical care and administered by each state.

If you are talking about the future, I would suggest that you talk to an elder care attorney or an estate attorney. In addition, once you have a plan in place, talk to your kids and whomever might have an interest on what kind of care you are being given.

Yes, all this can be with legal docs. However, just talking to the interested parties about this subject will help them in making decisions, if the decision to be made is controversial.

My Mom said that she wanted to live out her life at home. However, she had also told my sister that if she ever had severe memory issues or severe incontinence, it was okay to place her into a managed care home as she didn't want to become a total burden to us. Those statements are our guiding principles in giving her the proper care now.
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Reply to ChoppedLiver
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Long term care insurance is not needed in most cases where a person qualifies to Medicare and some places will also take Medicaid.
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Reply to Taarna
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lovelyliz Nov 10, 2023
meddicare only takes care of them for 100 days after that you see a social worker about applying for medicade.
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Consult with a certified elder law or estate planning attorney. Consider creating a trust. Medicaid covers LTC when one qualifies both financially and medically. Best that you know what that criteria is for your home state.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Way too late in your elder years to even consider LTC insurance. The sad thing is that it often doesn't cover what you need anyway. So you are too late on that one.

You then are in the frame where you look for Board and Care or other facilities you might be able to afford, and that may accept Medicaid when you have spent down your money to the degree required by your State.

I surely do wish you the best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Renee7777 Nov 10, 2023
I found an LTC policy for my 80 year old husband through Aetna. It's only for 9 months but will help me with caregiving when the time comes.
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