What can I do when husband “traps” people (even strangers) with long detailed stories about his life, his hobbies, his travels etc?

After 2 to 5 minutes, tap him on the shoulder, or take his hand. You say, "Excuse me, husband, may I offer you (a cold drink, a snack, etc). Redirect him. Interrupt him. Invite the unsuspecting person to move along.

I just read your profile. I am so sorry for your pain and frustration. It’s very sad.

If you are tired of hearing endless stories for hours on end, walk away. As for strangers, I suppose that it is somewhat embarrassing. It probably bothers you more than them. They will listen if they choose to or walk away if not. Let them decide.

I know a woman that does this to people everywhere she goes. Believe it or not, some people carry on a conversation with her. Others think she’s crazy and simply walk away. She has always been like your husband and she doesn’t have Alzheimer’s disease. She is lonely. She is never satisfied with anything. She is totally misguided. I limit my time around her because she drives me crazy. I am never rude to her but I nip it in the bud. She’s extremely negative and it stresses me out. Misery loves company and I refuse to be her company.

Have you thought about placing your husband in a facility? Would he go?

You could try distracting him. If that would work.

Patwisc: As your husband is the individual with Alzheimer's and more than likely (though I don't really know the receivers' mental states) the listeners are of lucid mind, your husband is doing nothing wrong. He cannot help what he recites orally and his listeners certainly must be aware of that fact.

Other folks can disengage how they see fit. Not up to you.

Is there anyway you can gently take his elbow and say "honey we have to go before it rains, storms, or whatever (use some kind of excuse) or say "we don't have time for this maybe another time you can talk" and gently guide him away. Not sure how old your hubby is but i sure wish you luck.

Interrupt him and walk away.
Say you have something to do and will come back later.

It is NOT IMPOLITE. He cannot help it and you need to set boundaries.
(I experienced this with a friend-he'd go into movie story lines.). While he didn't have dementia, I had to tell him I don't have the attention span to listen without periods and paragraphs.

He isn't trapping people. He can't 'do' otherwise and it is up to the people involved to interrupt this behavior. So what, he glares at you? Do not be intimated by changing brain chemistry. Just be okay with feeling uncomfortable. Do you give your personal power away to a brain that doesn't know what its doing.

Gena / Touch Matters

My father did the same thing. It bothered me the most when he did it during a medical appointment. I felt like he was taking up to much of the doctor’s time. On the positive side, the things he was saying were correct. He had a good memory. He just went into way to much detail. I couldn’t stop it, so I finally just accepted it.

You aren’t responsible for controlling this situation. The listeners can either continue to listen or find a way out themselves. Perhaps take these long story times to relax and use as a break for yourself.

I unfortunately live in assisted living but am very high functioning and take care of myself 99.9%. One man kept doing this over and over again - same stories. I just sweetly looked him in the eye and told him he had just told me the story at least 100 times. That stopped him in his tracks. I either got the subjects changed to something new or I excused myself. It worked. I can't stand listening to the same stuff - I go nuts.

Let the strangers handle it in their own ways.

Everyone has had experience with these stories and people and have developed their own strategies for escape. No need to worry.

Throw out the embarrassment and awkwardness you feel and let him talk. We’ve all run into a long winded person and had to listen patiently to their stories, haven’t we?
Most often, the only time a person with ALZ is able to hear themselves make any sense and hear themselves string words together without effort is when they are telling of something out of their long-term past.
God love him, let him talk.

My husband does the same thing! At first, I used to feel responsible to help the captors escape. But then I realized this was not a "me" problem. I cannot assume that they had no patience to listen. People can tell there is something wrong with my husband, perhaps they are being kind to listen. And if they want to excuse themselves, that is their option, they are adults and it is on them to do it. I don't have to be the one to intervene. Just free yourself from that responsibility, you have enough on your plate as it is, I am sure.

Maybe you can say something like "Honey, I don't think they are interested in your stories" Hopefully, the other person will pick up on that and say "George, nice talking to you but I have to run". If its a stranger say "Honey, the repair man needs to do his job. You can talk to him when he is done". Then the repairman can tell him later "sorry sir I have another job to get to or my boss will kill me." Maybe behind ur DHs back you can mouth "Alzheimers" or "Dementia".

You said Mom suffered from ALZ so you are probably aware that his ALZ is probably worsening. That trying to reason with him will have no effect. That he is becoming more self-centered. I believe they become like children. Small children are self-centered. We as parents teach them not to be. But someone suffering from a Dementia cannot be taught or trained. Their short-term memory loss prevents that.

So annoying. My mom tells stories and I cringe. My hubby, without dementia, can trap people with stories too. They say OK, we're going to leave now and he starts another 5 minute story. Sometimes I'm a jerk and say, "Honey, they want to leave now. Let them or they won't want to come back". That won't work with someone with dementia. Just maybe steer him away, apologize, and go home? Are these the same people that get trapped over and over? If so, you could tell them later, out of his hearing, that they do not need to stand there and listen to his long story.

You can make or purchase small business-sized cards that say this:

The person I am with has Alzheimer's
Please be patient
Thank you

Hand one out to the person DH is rambling on with. Here is a link to purchase these cards:

https://www.alzstore.com/please-be-patient-alzheimers-cards-p/0187.htm

Good luck!

What I meant about “ not going anywhere “ was out to dinner, to a movie, shopping, to watch grandchildren etc.

The people he “traps” are at church, at the grocery store, people who come in for repairs, etc and friends and relatives that come to visit. Most understand but don’t want to be rude or insensitive while he rambles on.

I did encourage him to write “his story” and even suggested he make a voice recording to no avail. He doesn’t tell me stories - only other people.

Let him rattle on. Eventually the reaction he receives from others will get through as visits from them become fewer and fewer.

I can sympathize. My hubby spent 45 minutes rambling about his early years growing up in Iowa with imagined happenings, based loosely on a James Bond movie he saw a few days earlier. The people he was rambling to were the director and the nurse from the MCF where he is going for respite care

Every attempt I made to try to get him to actually answer their questions failed.

Encourage your husband to write a memoir of all his stories and all the places he's been and things he's done.
Then when he starts rambling on to people, tell him not to that he has to save it for the book.
Maybe that will give him a sense of importance and make him feel like many people will want to read about his stories. It's worth a shot.

I've got a persistent bore in my family who doesn't have the excuse of dementia, he just lacks to insight necessary to understand that other people don't necessarily share his passions. I figure that people need to learn to set their own boundaries, I may break into the spiel with a comment once to give them an opportunity to come up with an excuse and flee, but after that they are on their own.

Yes, in your profile you state that your husband doesn't want to go any where or do anything, but sit at home and let you wait on him. Also you state that he has Alzheimer's, which you fail to mention in your post. That's a big thing to keep out of your post if you want some real help.
Like NYDaughterinLaw asked, who are these "unsuspecting" people that he "traps" with his stories, when he's not leaving the house? Or is it just you that he is driving crazy with them? And are they true stories, or made up ones because of his Alzheimer's?
Perhaps you need to educate yourself more on Alzheimer's/dementia, so you can better understand why he does what he does. Teepa Snow has some great videos on YouTube, that are very helpful, along with the book The 36 Hour Day, which is a great resource as well.
And there will come a day when he won't be able to share his stories, and you will wish he could.

On your profile you wrote: "He refuses to do anything or go anyplace." Where are these unsuspecting people?