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I am Retired Teacher married to a 92-year-old retired Physician. My husband wants to stay at home. He has lost one lung and has breathing problems, along with a list of other medical problems. He has rectal bleeding that has increased, but he says it's only his hemorrhoids (a doctor trying to diagnose himself) and not to worry. His son is in the medical field and said why bother to put him through any tests, if they find something what could they do.... he is 92?? Do I take the advice of family and let it go or insist on having it be check out?

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If you are the primary caregiver and no one else is his POA, you should do what you think is best and his medical team advises. Even bleeding hemorrhoids could be checked on. If he is in such a state as to be placed on hospice, then maybe the son knows best. I want my loved ones to be comfortable even if on hospice. Some issues take very little to make better. Others can’t be helped.
Who is managing your husbands health, you or his son?
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My father had his broken hip surgically repaired at 91. Your husband is still very much alive at 92 and in spite of what his family says, should get a medical diagnosis BEFORE deciding what to do or not do!

Follow your OWN gut instincts. They never lie or weave stories that make no sense.

Good luck!
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I believe that your husband and his doctor should make the call on this. Same thing happened with my dad at the end of his life. His blood count kept falling in his late 90s. He went to his doc with my Mom. The doc said "Fred, we can run all the tests on you, but let me ask you, if we find something are you going to want to treat it?" My Dad said "Nope" and the doctors said "OK, then lets not do the tests unless your count falls very low and you are very weak.
My Dad already had a know "huge" abdominal Aortic Aneursym he had had to make a decision about. As a nurse I could discuss it with him; surgery at his age was very risky. And as he took to saying to everyone "If that puppy blows I will be unlikely to have the time to say 'ouch'". As it happened he died in his easy chair watching Monica Lewinsky on Larry King Live. Didn't even have the time to say "ouch" to my Mom.
This decision is one to speak to your husband about. Most MDs I knew didn't want to do a whole lot, knowing all they knew, but the decision is his.
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He's the Doctor. Really, if something is found I doubt if he will go thru surgery with his health problems.

I think we all come to a stage in our lives where we just don't want to be poked and prodded anymore. Me, I was so glad pap smears were no longer recommended at my age. Yeh, no more internals after 50 yrs! No, you never get used to them.
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If he's competent, it's his call.
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Ask your husband what he wants to do. My 92 year old mom never wants to leave the house again. In 2020/2021, she had 3 falls that resulted in hospital/rehab stints. She should see her pulmonologist, but refuses to go. She currently isn't having any issues, but a check-up would be wise.

We had to practically carry her to the car to get her to her annual Medicare exam. Thankfully, her PCP understands elderly people and can only make recommendations, but doesn't push it. I have told her that it is her decision, and I will abide by it.
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