What can I do to make my mother understand that she is at home? She insists that her home is where she grew up.

This isn't at all uncommon. The old memories last and the new ones fade. This is why Mom may soon be confusing you with "Sister Dora" who has been gone for many decades. I don't think this is preventable. Those old wrinkles in the brain are very deep, much like Mom knowing the words to an old song by heart but unable to retain anything new. You may want to consider a photo album of old pictures if they are there, spending a half hour at bed time to go through it with her, and let her talk about people. It will perhaps be interesting for you and calming for her. But correction is not only useless, it is frustrating for the Alzheimer's Mom. Kudos on your loving care all this time. I can't imagine. Hope it gets better and that if you find anything that helps you will let the forum know because the information that comes through the forum is amazing.

Does it really make any difference? I would tell her when the doctor releases her back to her home and leave it at that. As far as placing her, I would start looking around, tour and get all the information, check with the state for any infractions, and read as many internet reviews as I could.

ktsmom, your mother is correct, her "home" is the childhood home where she grew up, back when life as a child was fun with no complex issues.

All you can do is use "theraputic fibs" with Mom. I had to do that with my own Mom [98] any time she asked to go home. Told her that her parents were visiting the old country and will be back in a couple of weeks. Told her that her sister was at work right now. Told her that her other sister and her husband were on vacation. All these "fibs" worked. Mom was not upset, and it was a relief to me. Rinse. Repeat the next day.

Every evening my Dad would climb into his time machine and transport back to the 1940's. At first it was confusing, but eventually I learned to go along. Dad would call me saying he was running late as he was at a meeting, so he missed his bus to get home, so he will stay at the hotel. Well, the last time Dad took a bus to work was in the 1940's, and the hotel he was stating at was actually his Memory Care facility.

It is so sad when we see our parent(s) going into this phase.

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You have been caregiving for a long time. That can be exhausting. I don't think it's likely to get someone with dementia to understand things, accept news they don't like, etc. Whatever is in her mind, is in her mind and changing that isn't very likely. It's not her being stubborn, it's just brain damage from dementia. I learned that the best way with my LO was to tell her whatever made her happy. Her understanding things didn't really matter. Answers that made her feel content, reassured, and happy were all that matter in the moment. So, it might help to say that she will go home when the doctor's report is complete, insurance claim is processed, painting is finished, medication adjusted, etc. In the moment, she'll be happy, until she forgets and you get to answer it again. That can be exhausting too. Repeating something dozens of times.......I recall it. Eventually, they does seem to stop though. At least with my LO.

Many times when the phrase "I want to go home" is used it is to indicate to a place where they felt safe and well.
I think reassuring her that she is safe will help.
Tell her you are with her, you will stay with her and make sure she is safe and cared for.
Do just as she did when you were a child because that is probably what her mom did for her. If she rubbed your back while you went to sleep, do that. If she held your hand or sang you a song, do that. If she read you a story until you fell asleep, do that.
Tell her that you love her and will be there for her when ever she needs you.

Memory Care facility..you come to that decision when it is no longer safe for her to be cared for at home. By that I mean if you can not care for her safely you do not want her inured nor do you want to injure yourself. That would have been the only thing that would have made me make the decision to place my Husband. Luckily with the help of Hospice he was able to remain at home. For 3 years I had Hospice I got the education I needed, the support and equipment I needed to care for him safely. If you do not have Hospice in you might want to make a call and have her evaluated.

"As soon as the doctor says it's okay for you to travel, mom."

I believe with dementia, you need to say what is a comfort and not what is "correct".

Yes, all that others said here is good. Your mom is not responding to actual reality on this issue. There is no way she will accept that her current home is home. My mom is still so intelligent that some fibs that others suggest don't work well on her, but just going along with whatever she says works okay. One woman in my mom's assisted living home asks the care givers to take her home. They have her pack a bag, wheel her outside and around the home, back in a different door, and back to her room. She tells them "Thank you. I just wanted to be home".

Is someone living with her and is this your childhood home? Sometimes what our elderly LO's say isn't exactly what they mean so when she says "no one cares about her" she might be feeling like no one is understanding her or "listening". Have you tried gently to figure out what "home" she wants to go to? I find with my mom when she gets disoriented about where she is (usually because she has gotten dehydrated) I can often bring her around gently by simply clarifying what she's asking "I'm confused" or "I don't understand" "help me out"...so it's kind of on me and then I can say you are home is there another place you have lived you want to go to? I say gently because while so far my mom can be brought around without getting terrified about how mixed up she got I know some LO's get to the point where it's less stressful for them to just meet them where they are because they aren't going to come around to the here and now. I would think however in your case if she is conversing with you and knows who you are she should be able to relate the house where she raised you as being her home. Maybe as you ask what she means (maybe she means something totally different and it has nothing to do with the building or location) you could say I'm a little confused this is the only home I have known with you and we thought this was where you wanted to be. Is there another home you would prefer to live in now? Maybe "home" simply means living with family or a spouse that has passed and it has nothing to do with the actual house. But I have learned that when my mom get's disoriented, anxious or upset the worst thing to do is respond in kind because it just spirals out of control, either lightening the moment with smiles and laughter (self depredation if it makes a good joke) or gently orienting her not just "correcting" her is always better for both of us. I let stuff go now, thinking to myself ok if that's what you need to believe! Lol I am very fortunate to have my brother to share and commiserate with though and it sounds like you might have that too. It helps both of us work through frustrations and concerns being able to complain if you will to each other when Mom is way out of line and just let her be out of line. We all, mom included know she is useless after 6pm for the most part and can openly laugh or work around that with her. It isn't as threatening for her I think knowing it's just a certain time of day that she gets really confused. My brother calls it her bewitching hour, hehehe.