I hate caregiving. I hate smiling while I listen again and again to stories about things that they did in the 40s, 50s, 60s.... I hate hearing about how their pooping or peeing is going that day; that they need me to order more diapers or they don't like the new sheets I bought or that the housekeeper missed a spot or that the sandwich doesn't taste as good as it did 40 years ago when he was still new to pipe smoking... I hate all of it. It sometimes becomes hating them, but I really don't. I hate seeing my fathers cry - one because he feels so sorry for himself, the other because he's trying to keep up the lie that my mom isn't careening into dementia. I hate watching my mean-spirited mom sink into that dementia. I hate watching my sweet stepmom in so much pain it's intolerable. I hate all of it.
I only have one living child remaining. I have been a single mom since she was two. WHAT are we going to do to make sure our child/children don't have to watch us go through this miserable process of aging? HOW do we prepare - not just financially - to make sure they never have to go through this love-hate dance at the end of our lives, too?