My 93-year-old mother has Alzheimer's and aggressive behavior. She previously spent a month in a psyche center to get her med's under control. They finally found med's to help her, so she is less anxious during the day and no longer violent, although she is also lethargic from the drugs. Unfortunately, she is still not sleeping at night and is disturbing the other residents. The Memory Care center where she lives wants to keep her so drugged at night that she is a zombie during the day and cannot even hold her head up. I don't want her to be this drugged during the day, so the facility is giving up on her after trying everything else (melatonin, moving her bed next to a wall because she says she is falling out of bed even though she is not, weighted blanket, etc.) and they want her out. They told me that they are not sure any other facility will take Mom. I am not sure where to go from here. Does anyone else have any ideas on what the next step is for us? Does skilled nursing take care of patients like this? I am at a loss.
The facility recommended drugs & a caregiver paid to be with her overnight . This phase did pass after almost a year and the drugs did not put her to sleep all day, but she needed a private nurse as well as being in an Alzheimer ( memory) care facility.
She has been relatively calm ever since. No disturbances for weeks. Is that due to adding the olanzapine or removing the seroquel? Who knows. Maybe both. Maybe neither.
Drugs affect everyone differently though.
There are some that are just cheek swabs (vs blood draws) so they are easy to do with almost anyone (and usually covered by insurance).
The wrong meds can make one very violent and aggressive.
So maybe that would be helpful going forward, as you would not have so much trial and error with medications.
I wish you luck. That’s so difficult:(
If their way of dealing with it is to keep her heavily medicated, it is because they don't have the staffing resources to spend more time managing her behavior.
Unfortunately, she may be heavily medicated wherever she goes. The alternate nursing home you spoke with sounds promising. Perhaps they have the extra time and staff to manage her care differently. It may be a much higher cost.
If you decide to make the move, make sure you stop by frequently to check on her, and ensure the care home is meeting the quality of care you expected.
I try to avoid doping up my difficult husband during the days, because sleeping all day will only lead to anxious, awake nights. So, I reserve the calming meds for bedtime only unless he is particularly agitated. It seems her current memory care facility is keeping her so drugged during the day, she is now agitated at night. If they are not managing her well, and want to kick her out, I wouldn't want to leave her there. It's time to make a move.
No memory care facility is going to assign aides to keep an aggressive dementia resident quiet all night. They're going to heavily medicate someone regardless of what facility they're in.
After a week or so, you can wean her off and see if it helped. This would be a heck of a lot easier than moving her elsewhere.
If your MIL is in memory care she is no longer making her own decisions. Whoever is her POA or next-of-kin can give the memory care permission to drug her food and drink without telling her. Many types of medications can be mixed into pudding, applesauce, an Ensure drink, you name it.
If she doesn't know she's being medicated, she won't be able to refuse hr medication.
mention your concerns about the zombified tablet state
and I think you’ll have a better steer on which way to proceed afterwards
end of day it looks like your mother needs medication
maybe a different one
We can all sympathise but also being neutral we can also if our parents were in there getting disturbed every night
so I think you’ll need to speak to your mothers doctor and find out what else can help
maybe she doesn’t need so much in the daytime
maybe she isn’t eating enough to justify the dose levels
her doctor shd be first call
surprised the centre have r suggested this but in a way not as no one seems to really care much nowadays
speak to her doctor and tell the centre you are seeking medical advice so will get back to them
good luck
I did contact another facility today called Silverado that specializes in Memory Care only. I think there are several of these facilities across the US. They have a different approach to treatment. They are also the most expensive. The staff member I talked with today was so kind and helpful, I could have cried. I briefly explained the situation and asked what they would do differently and she explained some of the methods they use. Redirection is one of those things. She said, "we find out what they are anxious about and comfort them, and redirect them." This is what I think is missing where Mom is now. One staff member who complained to me recently about Mom not sleeping at night, said Mom was yelling that there were spiders in her room, and the staff member said the night staff "actually had to pretend they were stomping spiders!!" I thought what's wrong with that? If Mom thought she saw spiders, just pretend you killed them. No big deal.
When I asked the new place I called today what would happen if Mom went there, but she did not improve and continued to wake up anxiously calling for help at night, disturbing other residents, this woman told me that they "don't give up on people with dementia" and that they "meet them where they are." It almost sounded too good to be true. Has anyone else ever heard of Silverado Memory Care?
Also, some residents don't have involved family members who want to be kept in the loop, or there are HIPPA issues/lack of POA, etc., so it's not automatic for the doctors to communicate with family the way it would be if you were going with your mother to an appointment.
The staff should definitely give you an email or phone number at which you can talk with whichever doctor(s) sees your mother so you can find out from him or her whether they're aware of the nighttime issues. It's possible that your mother hasn't been seen by a doctor since this issue arose, or that the doctor did prescribe the meds but hasn't been made aware of the excessive effects, and could change the dosage or the medication. Based on what you learn from them you can be better informed when you get her an outside appointment. But more immediately, this doctor might be able to adjust the meds to be more effective and appropriate for her, and resolve the issue so you don't have to find a new place.
I have thought about having Mom see a geriatric doctor outside the facility, but had not thought about a neurologist. Is this something that a lot of Alzheimer patients need to do?
Right now, I think Mom is going to be given the heave-ho and told she is no longer welcomed there, and I need to find something else for her.