My husband some times gets confused about where he is , and askes questions like who drove last night but we never left the house. He has driven eractily on 2 occasions. I cannot talk to any one where he can hear because he gets upset.
vebby, if you go to Care Topics on this forum there's a whole category about Dementia for you to read and learn from. Also, it may be wise to get him in to see his doc (if he resists it is ok to tell him a "therapeutic fib" like Medicare now requires it, etc, whatever works). Once there discretely pass the staff a note you wrote in advance asking the doc to perform both a cognitive exam and to test for a UTI, which in the elderly often has no other initial symptoms except behavior changes and confusion. Antibiotics clears this up.) If the cognitive exam reveals the beginnings of dementia, your doctor can be the one to discuss this with him so that you're not the "bad guy". If he refuses the doc appointment, you will just need to start having small conversations about planning for your futures when you can no longer care for yourselves.
Also, please please please do not allow him to drive if he is erratic. My uncle killed his own wife and dog and injured the people in the car he hit when he had "a senior moment" and went through a red light -- because his children didn't want to do the difficult and unpopular thing of transitioning him out of driving. He will probably fight you hard on it, but he must not be a danger on the road. This conversation can also be had with the doctor. You can anonymously report him on your state's DMV website. They will send a letter requiring him to come in and take an eye or road test and he hopefully will fail. Then you again are not the bad guy. I know it probably won't be easy and his not driving impacts your life too. I wish you success in helping your husband as you work through this together!
Also, please please please do not allow him to drive if he is erratic. My uncle killed his own wife and dog and injured the people in the car he hit when he had "a senior moment" and went through a red light -- because his children didn't want to do the difficult and unpopular thing of transitioning him out of driving. He will probably fight you hard on it, but he must not be a danger on the road. This conversation can also be had with the doctor. You can anonymously report him on your state's DMV website. They will send a letter requiring him to come in and take an eye or road test and he hopefully will fail. Then you again are not the bad guy. I know it probably won't be easy and his not driving impacts your life too. I wish you success in helping your husband as you work through this together!
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-disease-dementia-warning-signs-144253.htm