What are the down sides of living in assisted living?

I don’t see any negatives!

I applaud you for planning ahead.

I am sorry about your siblings. It is upsetting to see people we love declining.

Have you gone to have any cognitive testing done for yourself?
Maybe it would make you feel better if you went to see a neurologist for testing.

As far as assisted living goes, do your research and find a place that most suits your needs.

Best wishes to you. Keep us posted.

I agree it's great to plan ahead. My Dad is in his 80s and in AL, and I see a lot of benefits, but a few drawbacks to prepare for. First, the schedule is not your own. My father struggled with the meal schedule because it wasn't exactly how he handled things at home (he tended to eat dinner late, then sleep in and have an early lunch, on his own). Small things like that can be frustrating if you have certain habits.
Also, he feels it's a little less private than he would like. Granted, if he doesn't want someone in his room (really more like a suite, it's very nice) he can just tell them no, and they will agree so long as it's not a medical emergency or something like that. But he's a pretty private person and it took some time to adjust to people knocking on his door and being in his space. Of course, they were doing that so they could clean it, do his laundry, make sure he was taking his medication, etc, all things he was not handling well at home — they aren't coming in just for random reasons. Again, once he adjusted to the schedule and let them know he was a night owl who liked to sleep later in the morning, it was fine. But really, it's those little things, the change of habits from home, that seemed to be the biggest frustrations.

So sorry that you have this looming over your head. But I encourage you not to give up and give in. I would talk to your doctor about your concern and maybe have some baseline testing done now so you will know where you are. I would also do some research on what you can do to fight it off as long as possible - as I said don't just give in to it.

Being depressed is not going to help your memory situation. I would get into some therapy and maybe meds to help get you back on your feet.

Take some preventative action.
Get more active - this can be done at any age. Increase your activity little by little until you get to a good level (there are suggestions for daily/weekly minimums online).
If you have diabetes - clean up your diet, going much further with sugar/carb reduction than any dietician will suggest.
Stimulate your brain - puzzles, word games, sudoko, etc
Socialize - get out with friends more and/or the senior center
Eat brain foods - avocado, beets, blueberries, salmon, eggs and walnuts to name a few.
Follow the mediterranean diet
Take vitamin D
Take good care of your oral health

OK, assisted living is great. My mom, with dementia, has been in one for a few months. There is definitely an adjustment period. Like with any group of people, there will be some you like more than others, and some that might outright annoy you. Just try to go with the flow and be polite to the annoying people. Don't let them get to you. Take advantage of all the activities they have - this is how you will make friends which will be the best way to enjoy your stay there.

Yes, as mentioned, meals are on their schedule. Well, that's a little annoying but you can adjust to it. My mom's breakfast is a couple hours earlier than when I served breakfast but if you try not to be too set in your ways, it won't take long to get used to it.

The biggest thing it probably to go in with a good attitude and be flexible. I think it is an excellent idea to get yourself settled before any significant issues arise. You will be able to get to know the routine and the people and staff while you're still in a good place.

Best of luck!

Take tours of several different assisted living facilities. You will get an understanding of what life in one would be like. It may, or may not, be for you. You sound still very much 'together'. The meal thing is not a mental problem. All single people battle that issue. I am struggling with it myself. Eating is as much social as it is nutritional. Without company we (I) just am not interested in eating. Welcome to the club.

Many places will allow you to "Try on" a community. Stay a week or so and see what you think.
I would suggest that you look at a place that has "sister" communities in other areas. They may allow you to stay in another of the communities if you decide to travel.
Also look for a community that has continuing care.
If you need Memory Care you will not have to move..if you need rehab, often it is right there.
You are in a Condo now so you are sort of used to living in a community. It would be more difficult if you were in a single family home.

It is great that you are looking ahead and planning for your future "what if's" but please do not forget to live in the present, you never know what the future holds. If you think moving to an AL community will lessen your depression I think you are mistaken. You should talk to someone about your family situation and the ramifications.

I applaud your thinking ahead!

My mom always ate breakfast in her own unit--she was never a morning person and wasn't about to change at age 90!

I like the idea of a week or month as a trial stay. Mom moved into one community where several family members were quite happy, but it wasn't at all the right fit for her. Interestingly, it was folks almost exclusively from HER ethnic/nationality group, but she had gotten used to a more diverse group of friends over the years, so was happier in a place that was more integrated.

My mother was always very interested in varieties of religious worship; one of her favorite things was going to each religious service, not just her own.

Wendsong, instead of thinking about Assisted Living, why not try Independent Living in a senior facility.

Independent Living is usually a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment, large living room, full size kitchen. The facility my Dad was in, had as part of the monthly rent, weekly housekeeping and linen service. There was a restaurant style dining room with menu. Dad loved being around people closer to his own age. Plus around the clock RN's.

This senior facility also offered Assisted Living for those who qualified, and Memory Care. After a time, the Staff recommended my Dad would do better if he moved over to Memory Care as he was found wandering and trying to leave the building late at night. The apartment in Memory Care was much smaller, Dad use to joke about his "college dorm room".

I would ask Dad every now and then what would he change about where he was living. And his answer was "nothing". Dad even said he wished he would have moved to that facility sooner, but he didn't know they even existed.

If you are coming from a single family home there will be a huge adjustment, you will need to downsize in a major way and you will need to get used to having neighbours living right on your doorstep - for the more introverted among us that can be a very uncomfortable prospect. Since you are looking ahead and don't really seem to need the full suite of services provided in assisted living I wonder if you might consider looking for a place that offers a continuum of care, starting with independent living apartments that offer add on amenities.

My brother & I tried to talk my mother into AL for 10 years as she was living alone on a mountain. in NC, dangerous for her. We lived over 700 miles away.

Then she had a slight stroke and was scared to stay alone at night, she kept calling the EMT's and they were starting to bill her $600 each time she called as there was nothing wrong with her.

My brother & I swooped in, brought her to Florida and I found a nice AL for her.

Well, now she says "I wish I had done this 10 years ago"! I love it, met new friends, don't have to keep a house up and have lots of activities.

She has a nice apartment with a small kitchen, the place has beautiful grounds so she can sit outside and enjoy the sun.

Go figure, she will be 98 next week and has been there for almost 3 years.

I like the thought if AL. Mom was in a small one. The thing I didn't like was those suffering from Dementia were mixed in with those who did not have it. The other in my area (more expensive) had AL and MC. She had the choice of 3 separate size rooms. I chose her the small one. She had a small kitchen. Enough room to have your favorite dishes. A nice size fridge and microwave. Me I eat breakfast about 10am. So no lunch, I snack. Not sure if you pick meal plans. Mom had Dementia so she ate 3 meals in the dining area. The kitchen had cabinets if you want to keep cereal and bagels. Have lunch and dinner. The other place we looked at said their residents sometimes came down, picked up their food and took it back to the room. If u drive, u can keep ur car. Pick a AL that offers transportation to shopping and appts. And the communities are nice.

Alz does tend to be hereditary. It effects the brain differently than other Dementia's. I so hope your siblings make it easy for their LOs to care for them and realize they need to enter ALs too. One thing I would talk to ur Doctor about is Statins (Lipator for one). It has been proven they contribute to Dementia's. They do effect cognativity. You may want to go off them if you are on them for Cholesterol.

In my Dads family those who got ALZ started in their 70s. Out of 8 children 2 were diagnosed with ALZ in their 70s. They lived to be 83 and 89. Another Uncle lived to be 87, he had a stroke. 3 lived to late 70s and showed no signs of ALZ. Heart and stroke. One late 60s and one 53 both heart. So see, you may not even contract it. But good you are thinking ahead.

My mother is in memory care at a large rural campus that has two independent living neighborhoods with houses and yards, an assisted living neighborhood of three buildings, and a memory neighborhood of four buildings. Best of all, they have their own new, modern rehab building on the same campus, several floors, and anyone who already lives on the campus has first priority for a rehab bed if needed. Even if you don't develop dementia, you will probably need rehab for an injury or medical condition in the future. Rehabs in general are notoriously awful, neglect and mistakes, so if you're planning ahead, make sure your plan includes a great rehab. What I'm describing is known as a continuing care community. Some people entering the community pay a very large down-payment and sign legal contracts to have all their resources go toward their care. However, the place where my mother lives also allows the option of paying month to month for assisted and memory care. Maybe you can choose a place near your nieces and nephews. Maybe even choose the SAME place as one of your siblings. That way, your nieces and nephews can check in on you when they visit their parent. Even in a great rehab, you will need someone to advocate for you. Good luck! Do it soon!

It depends on who you are and what you want.
For my brother the downside was that he was basically a very quiet man who didn't socialize a whole lot with others. In ALF you will be socializing. Look for the place that is best for you as they vary in how they are set up. Some have cottages with say 14 residents and a common room for dining, games, TV and etc. Some are more like high rise hotel. Food varies. But you generally eat with others in a common room. There are activities and such, sometimes trips to tour the town, trips to shop, trips to a movie. There might be a "happy hour" in some places.
I would say that most of the people in my brother's ALF were more mentally impaired than he was. That would cause problems. He often said "Hey, this is like a 60s commune with everyone arguing over everything from whether the shades in the common room should be up for the artists and readers or down for the TV folk. He had beautiful grounds at his facility and liked to sit out there walk out there. Some enjoyed visiting and chatting; some didn't.
I would suggest that you consider your assets, then consider touring some facilities and see what you yourself thing. Come back and let us know.

You could begin with some in home care. The caregiver could come for 4 hrs however many days you think you need and provide cooking, cleaning, and help with bathing. They could do shopping for you or take you along. That will get you used to having help and might cure the loneliness. You should make sure there is someone named as POA, financial and medical to make decisions for you if it comes to that. Meanwhile, be looking into assisted living places that would suit you. Assisted living offers activities and socialization. Most are corporate run and are very expensive. I like the smaller facilities in neighborhood settings myself, but the larger ones usually have memory care attached if there is a need to transfer. Some people are able to stay in assisted living without being transferred into memory care, even with dementia. Moving will require considerable downsizing, which feels horrible at first, but it just means there is less to take care of and be aware of, which would be helpful should you develop dementia. For some people the schedules that someone else decides on is problematic, but if you have trouble remembering to eat, it might be really helpful. One thing that surprised me at assisted living was bathing was done only twice a week. My mom was used to daily bathing. By the time she went to assisted living she was not able to take care of bathing herself. I noticed some places had showers in the private bathrooms, so maybe you could do it for yourself as often as you like. Otherwise, my mom was generally quite happy for almost 4 years in assisted living. It was a small one with a front porch where she could watch children and people walking their dogs go by.

You are very wise to make plans for the future this way, and starting with AL is a good first choice in my opinion.

I don't think are any negatives to AL except that your apartment will be a lot smaller (probably) than your condo now. Make sure it has Memory Care facilities attached to it as well, so if the time comes that you require more services, they are available to you w/o a major move involved.

The cost is another negative for most people who grit their teeth at paying $4-5K a month for AL.

Set up some tours of local AL/MCs in your area, and see what you think. Which one has the best all-around-package to suit YOU. Dining/entertainment/apartment/activities/care wise.

Do look over the contract you sign beforehand, looking for any oddities pertaining to 'moving out' or that they'll require 5 months notice; things like that.

Best of luck to you.