
What are the best next steps to take for my 87-year-old mother, who’s experiencing short-term memory loss and has recently started drinking straight alcohol—something she never did before? She’s had a hard life, losing her husband and sons, and now denies drinking during the day, though I’m not sure she even remembers. I have a camera in her place that she is aware of. Her primary dr was not helpful so I am trying to get a neurologist. I need help as I teach and live an hour 20 min away.
I think I’d take the car and the booze away from her .,
Is she willing to live in assisted living ?
You don’t have to wait for a neurologist to do that.
Try to get Mom to move to assisted living near you . Do not have Mom move in with you .
You should find a doctor that specializes in geriatrics and ask what to do. Mom may be self-medicating her depression. The doctor may be able to come up with a plan. Or maybe not. There's one school of thought that believes that you're better off to let them drink themselves to death because they're so addicted that no one can do anything about it anyway, and clearly that's how they've chosen to die.
Another aspect is that elders who drink a lot are more subject to falls. Bad falls, from which they can't recover. So then you've got dementia, alcoholism and broken hip in a SNF.
It's a bad scene all the way around, and I wish you luck in finding help.
I'd highly recommend AlAnon for you.
A lot of doctors will fall into the school of thought of "let them drink," particularly with an 87 year old.
It can be very difficult to place alcoholics in any type of facility. Only the worst of the worst facility in our county takes alcoholics and drug addicts. Alcoholics are considered to be serious troublemakers in residential facilities.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I had to back way off from Dad as he was going to drink no matter what.